Burden of a Dream

Is it a burden to dream
To be filled with wonder
And still tremble
From the awareness
This world etches in our hearts



Being an artist and writer
Much of my work and the stirrings of it all
Occurs in solitude

Within this angst I try to find my way
To uncover what has been hidden
This motivates me to expose what I have seen
And this work provides me with a place
Where I find refuge

When I create beauty from the ugliness in this life; I feel a sense of calm all stirred up with sorrow and exhilaration because some morsel of truth has been discovered and expressed.

At times my ignorance is overwhelming. I suppose this is what causes me to stop and look and try to understand the world around me and the human heart.

It is ironic that at this very core is where I have managed to find peace. And when I become aware of others who have done and who do the same; I feel a sense of connection that penetrates the alienation that creeps in when all is quiet.

I have named this oil on canvas, "Quiet Desperation." In a sea of misery we look out to find understanding and we see only pain. Drowning in this endless sea of suffering we try to take flight but we cannot. It is only when we change our perspective and look out that we can see the stars and the beauty and power of all of it. This beauty brings us peace when we comprehend that we are never truly isolated or alone. We are a part of it all and it is what we do and how we live and what we share that at least for our short time in this human form, makes all of the difference.

Byron Nuclear Power Station in Illinois Stops

The Byron Nuclear Power Station shut down yesterday, January 30, 2012.



By the way 95 miles is nothing. The wind blows and the rain falls and all that radioactive hydrogen moves and falls down and is absorbed by the earth and ground water. Just because we can't see it happening doesn't mean it isn't happening.

Garbage is washing up on the Pacific Coast shoreline from Japan's Tsunami and subsequent Fukushima Nuclear Power Plant Explosions.

Japanese tsunami debris washes up on U.S. West Coast nine months after disaster (and there's 100 MILLION more tons on its way)
By Michael Zennie

Last updated at 5:10 PM on 16th December 2011

Comments (14) Share
Large black floats are the first remnants of Japan's devastating earthquake and tsunami to begin washing up on the American coastline.

The debris traveled 4,500 miles on Pacific Ocean currents, pushed by wind and water, to reach the beaches of Neah Bay in far northwestern Washington state 280 days after the Japanese disaster.

Some 100 million tons of debris -- from wrecked fishing vessels to household furniture and even body parts -- is bearing down on the West Coast, raising environmental fears about the impact of massive amounts of wreckage clogging beaches.

Found: This large float made its way from Japan to Neah Bay, Washington, in about 280 days. Several have been found washed ashore in North America
Across the ocean: Currents and winds carried the floats across vast expanses of the Pacific Ocean
The debris is even more massive and moving much faster than originally predicted. Initial projections said 5 to 20 million tons of waste would take three years to reach American shores.

Now, scientists say, 100 million tons could be here in just one year.
One float, the size of a 55-gallon drum, was found in Washington two weeks ago, another was reportedly discovered in Vancouver, Canada.


More...Eighteen pieces of radioactive material seized from Iranian bound for Tehran at Moscow airport
What goes up, must come down: Stricken Russian probe will plummet to Earth next month - and no one knows where it will strike

The 9.0 magnitude earthquake and ensuing tsunami that struck the eastern coast of Japan March 11 killed more than 15,000 people and washed homes, boats and human lives out to sea.

Anything that floated is now riding Pacific currents. According to computer predictions from the University of Hawaii, most of it is headed for an area between southern Alaska and southern California.
The researchers in Hawaii predicted most of the debris will reach the US mainland in three years.

First arrivals: Oceanographer Jim Ingraham says the Japanese float is the first of millions of tons of debris likely to reach the shore
Pieces of Japanese life: All manner of debris was swept out to sea in the tsunami March 11 and is now headed for US coastlines
However, oceanographers Curtis Ebbesmeyer and Jim Ingraham said some of the flotsam appears to be traveling much faster and could hit the West Coast in less than a year, the Peninsula Daily News reported.

Most debris travels at about 7 miles per day, the Seattle scientists said, but pieces can cover up to 20 miles in a day if they are big enough for the wind to push them.
The large black drums averaged about 16 miles per day to reach Neah Bay in Washington.

The University of Hawaii team also predicted the debris was about 5 to 20 million tons.

However Mr Ebbesmeyer and Ingraham say the errant Japanese flotsam could be five times that amount, about 100 million tons.

Sailors and the US Navy have spotted all manner of shards of Japanese life in the massive debris fields that are floating the currents.

In October, the crew of a Russian ship spotted televisions and refrigerators riding the current. Parts of homes, and a wrecked 20-foot fishing vessel have also been seen.

Salvaged: Crew members of a Russian training ship pulled in a fishing boat from Japan that was found 2,000 miles out to sea
Massive wreckage: The debris field in the Pacific Ocean has been spread out in an area even larger than Japan itself
Body parts are also expected to wash up on US shores, the Daily News reported.

The two researches said beachcombers who find any debris with identifying marks - such as Japanese writing - should contact authorities so it can be returned.

Families lost everything when their homes were washed away by the giant wall of water, Mr Ebbesmeyer said. Anything they can reclaim from the sea could help them recover from the disaster.


Click here to read more about Fukushima Debris

We'll see. In the meantime, last night we had a relatively mild earthquake along the border of Illinois and Wisconsin. This is unusual because it didn't occur along a fault line.And it is the last day of January. A month that has been mostly in the 40's, which is 20-40 degrees warmer than usual in January in this part of the country. Today is predicted that it will get up to near 60.

We've been enjoying the nice weather here but it is extremely unusual.

I wonder what this summer is going to be like and how this will effect how our crops grow.

Bach Vivaldi and Snow

Listening to Baroque Violin Bach Concertos and Vivaldi and after a brief break coding I'm working on the last phase of the site updates. We had a light snow during the wee hours and today the sky is bright blue with occassional white puffs in the distance. The shadows stretching across the yards are stark; tracing better than an artist ever could, the bare branched limbs over the undisturbed white below. I love days like these. My akita Coco is resting peacefully at my feet and the dingbat cats, on something soft in another room, are napping.

Vegetable Garden in Front and Back Yard

I've decided to till must of my front yard and grow vegetables and herbs and squash there. In the back yard I am growing berries and will add another blueberry bush and grow tomatoes and beans there too.

The first ten feet across the front yard will get lots of sun so there, I'm going to plant Squash. I am going to plant a variety of colors and plant them in wavy lines so it looks like water made of big leaves. Dotted here and there like ducks floating on the water. In the yard itself I'm going to spiral from the center and in the center I'm going to plant sunflowers, like a lovely bouquet. In a swirl out from this center I'm going to plant Indian Corn, multi-colored and indigenous. Along the base of these plants I'm going to plant herbs.

Up closer and a little to the side I'm planting potatoes. And on the other side I'm going to plant broccoli. The corn will probably come up pretty close to the front of the house so that should take care of the front yard.

In the back yard, along my wood fence the surrounds the backyard I'm planting a variety of beans all along the five foot high fence. And along the garage wall, behind my blueberries I'm planting tomatoes.

I am excited about moving further away from having a lawn. I've let the land rest for many years so it should be good.

I am thinking about including ruts running through the garden area so water can go there and then open them up with a shovel or maybe use rocks. I won't be able to run rocks along the ruts and I won't use any plastic so I'm going to need to think about this a little. I don't have enough money to use a little concrete. But I'll come up with something.

I don't have a keg for collecting water but I may use something else. Maybe glass bottles. I have a little time to think about it.

It has been fun to look through the seed catalog. This year I will be buying my seed. Next year, I will be buying less and using my own from this crop. I'm going to mulch the clippings back into the soil in the early fall and call it good. Not sure how the neighbors will feel about the organic fertilizer I'm going to use from a nearby horse farm but I'm not going to use that much and it will be mixed well so it should be okay. I may get a little straw to throw over everything and let it just settle before planting.

If you have any suggestions, feel free to share them.
Since I left my farm I always longed to have a garden again. And then I realized, so what if the only place some of my veggies will grow are in the front yard. I'm going to grow them there anyway. Every bit of land that gets sun, except a little up by the house, is going to have something edible growing in it.

Tidal Wave

I just finished, "Tidal Wave." It's an oil painting on canvas, 24" x 36". I'm going to miss looking at it.

Coco and Mama Playing in Snow

We finally had some good snowfall. Coco and I were having way too much fun playing in the back yard. It only stayed on the ground for three days. It is so warm now that over night it rained and most of it is gone. But we had a great time!

Coco's Subaru Outback Commercial

This is Coco's first commercial. I think we need an agent!



She played a character named, "Buddy." She's such a cutie!!!

Thank you President Obama!!!!

Thank you thank you thank you President Obama for not passing through the Keystone Pipeline Project. I am so grateful right now that I wish you were here. I'd fix you and your family the best breakfast and then I'd give you a big old hug!!!!

I've written extensively about this pipeline and the dangers of fracking (the process of extracting gas from under the earth through water pressure. Sounds harmless but the chemicals used are seriously polluting our water and the earth. People who have been directly impacted by this can't even water their gardens or drink their water. It smells like kerosene and it is highly explosive. To endanger communities, our fresh water supply and put in a pipeline when we all know the earth moves. Oil pipelines have been leaking into rivers, remember the Kalamazoo River catastrophe. The has had a devastating effect on our environment that does serious, long term damage to our water, wildlife and fish.

Thank you for not allowing the few that would have made a ton of money doing this, not go through with this project. It would have cost us all so much. Way more than money. And money could not have fixed (it hasn't yet) the environment damage done by these kinds of approaches to providing energy to us.

We need to provide funding to more independent people who can share and spread the wealth around. Use more local approaches so people who don't have any ties to an area can't come in a dump radio active and chemical toxic waste in areas where people don't know any better.

If you haven't read any of my posts on the subject do a word search or google or do YouTube searches on fracking or toxic dumping destroying communities and you'll find plenty of information all on your own. If you aren't informed on this subject, invest some time in doing some looking around and get informed. This will effect us adversely. And believe me, the pressure to get this pipeline through won't stop. But it won't get far if people understand how badly this will effect us, all of us, regardless of any political party.

We do need to figure out passive ways we can generate energy. But we absolutely must make preserving the environment while we are doing it a priority.

So once again - thank you thank you thank you President Obama!!!! I am so proud of you!!!!!

It's the Berries - Or Is It?

One day I was walking Coco on a back road that we hadn't taken before. As we walked I noticed some deer droppings and thought, this is so cool. Deer must come along here. It is a very rare sight. When we lived in Michigan I used to see them all of the time. But here in Illinois, not so much.

On our way back we were closer to the deer droppings and I noticed that they weren't deer droppings at all. They were blue berries. Not the kind I enjoy to eat but some other kind. I had been so sure that they were deer droppings when I'd seen them before.

And I thought, isn't it interesting how our experiences become the lens we see the world through.

And I thought, this is why it is so important to keep an open mind. To give things a closer look. Because from a distance things aren't always what they seem.

When I read or watch a good documentary or program that teaches me something I am reminded that there is so much more to see; so much more to learn. I don't feel bad I don't know it all. I don't have an expectation that I should. I now realize this would be impossible and so I let it go. But I still enjoy learning.

I see conditions in the world and wonder how long will it take before we understand that this world has a fragile balance. And that we can either continue down a wasteful, consumptive, me-first path or we can open our eyes just a little bit more and consider that maybe, just maybe, we can do better. It is easy to wait around for somebody else to fix our problems. It is easy to let someone else do our thinking for us. But head in the sand or eyes wide open, searching the tree line, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize that we are doing great harm to our planet. To the fresh water that has been polluted by acid rain and chemical runoffs from power plants and industries. It doesn't take much to understand that the air we breath is polluted and this affects the way we breathe and it is killing off all kinds of insects and birds. And it doesn't take much to realize that the few who are trying to grab control of our natural resources to put us between a rock and a hard place and then to squeeze the last bit of money out of us, has been happening for decades; generations.

It is so easy to get weary of the problems that are so far beyond our control until we realize; wait a minute, there is something I can do.

Personal responsibility and personal empowerment go hand in hand. Until I take responsibility for my choices I cannot see things differently or try new approaches to solving problems or thinking things through. And that is essential when we take steps toward empowerment.

We all know that we need to move away from oil and gas. We need to take care of our water and air. But how? Well, use less power and do more manually. Make every trip you take count by running errands to and from where you need to go. Turn down our hot water heaters - that made a huge difference in my utility bill. Insulate your attic if you have one. And get solar panels or save and get outdoor motion detector solar lights. Every little bit we can do will help us to save money so we can take another step toward making ourselves more independent.

I got to thinking about how much cars cost one day. And how much insurance costs. And how much gas costs. And then how much is costs to repair a car. New tires, new brakes and all sorts of sensors that are increasingly costing more and more to replace. And I thought, this is like a toll just so you can work. Just so you can get to the grocery store. To own, operate and insure a car takes as big of a chunk out of our income as it does to pay rent. And if you have to pay for parking and you live in a city that has high rates for tickets, add on an average of a few hundred dollars onto your yearly budget. It's ridiculous. I like these zip cars in Chicago. People can become a member and they can get a car and drive it somewhere and leave it in a lot and pay get something done and that's it. And the zip cars are also great on gas mileage. We need to start figuring out exactly how much do I need something and if it isn't all of the time, is there a way to make a change that will help to lighten my heavy load?

Every time we make a decision to do something we are supporting it. So figuring out what part we are playing in this huge dilemma we are creating is a key to figuring out what we really want to do about it. If riding bikes and wearing helmets when riding on streets where there are cars and trucks is a better option than spending money on owning a car in the city then maybe its time to look into companies like the zip car. We don't all need cars all of the time. So why throw a third of your income down the hole when it is a losing proposition? Those payments and that nice new shiny car doesn't mean anything.

So many people aren't willing to sacrifice what they think they should have right now for creating the life they would find interesting and fulfilling when it involves their image of what success means. I remember seeing these big houses that took up almost all of their lots in the suburbs in the nineties. Everyone of the new houses had these huge front doors. I thought, you are going to have to heat all of that. You are going to be paying taxes on all of that. And you don't have any woods or orchards or gardens around you. And I still feel that way.

When pretense, when how things appear, means more to us than being true to who we are and what we can afford, than whose life are we living anyway? If we are working sixty hours a week and can afford to buy things but we can't have a life of our own, where are we really going?

We can all do more with less.

Blue Skies

The sky is blue. Branches darkened by the moisture and snow clotted on their skin. And bright white snow spread across every property line. Blanketing us all underneath the hush of a long over due winter.

I threw snow at Coco and otherwise drank tea and painted most of the day.

While doing this my mind wandered. Those ramblings have led me here. To this keyboard. To this window. To this hope.

It began when I was listening to a classic radio station that broadcast a very patriotic shpeal on how great a country America was and it asked and then answered via Orsen Wells, the reasons why everyone wanted to live here. It boiled down to freedom and the Bill of Rights and the American Way and was sponsored by the oil industry. Honestly, I couldn't believe the grasp the oil industry had on our country or how it used gasoline to move in and out of every loop hole our country tried to put into place, to protect the environment and each other from corruption by prohibiting the very rights the program was about. Well, that's neither here nor there.

Oil and industry and acid rain and dead zones in the gulf and in rivers and lakes are a reality we can either face or deny. But its there anyway. We need look no further than to ourselves because the reasons why things have gone so haywire boils down to ignorance. Our lack of knowledge about how our life style is effecting our environment is tough to figure out. And even with research and having a glimpse of how serious this all is, we still don't seem much closer to being able to cut through the too much information age and get quick access to how our elected officials are voting. So we vote party lines to vote for the closest extreme to what we believe our middle of the road, common sense thoughts lead us.

I don't think oil or gas or a Keystone Pipeline (which is just a start) or utility corporations and the ones that own majority shares in them are nearly as much a threat to our environment as our own ignorance.

I do think that all of the "we" versus "them" banter that goes on between political parties and those who have a controlling interest in determining which way the prevailing winds blow here are a huge waste of time and resources.

We are squandering the resources of our planet when we could be so looking at all of this as an opportune time to promote and provide for companies and individuals with the tools to create more industries that work at recycling every single by-product our industrial revolution has laid in our soil. It's oily muck spreading through every living thing that relies on water and snow and stream to give it life.

All of the grabbing in the world and denying that industries have left huge cancerous blots of pollution and devastation to our earth, in the name of energy, won't help us face the problems we need to be dealing with now.

Tons of people are out of work. People who could be applying what they know to some sort of passive energy that would help us function without destroying our planet, aren't. People who could be brain storming in Washington DC, aren't. Because too many people are getting something out of keeping us ignorant. Too many people want to squeeze the last bit of money they can out of every finite resource we have.

People could be working out how to recycle this and how to get this pollutant out of our water or ground and what it could be used for that would be constructive. Too many people don't want to face the raw truth that we don't have the time to screw around anymore.

And as long as we continue to use up our natural resources carelessly, we are feeding the very same beast that will devour us once we've been all fattened for the last act.

There are so many people who would love to have a sense of purpose and who would rather be a part of the solution than the problem. And yet those behind the Keystone Pipeline are trying to force through their proposal for this and get funding from Washington DC - that's everyone's tax dollars, so they could set this massive artery through our country. Even though we know that our ground is unstable and repairing and maintaining these pipelines is dangerous and a real concern for further destruction of our eco-system.

Coco and Mama Playing in the Snow

Coco and I had so much fun playing in the snow this morning. I love the way she runs and hops around. She never comes close to me when she jumps because that is the way I have trained her. So its cute the way she hops around me and the way she is so gentle when we play.

First Snow Storm in Chicago 2012

We haven't even had two inches of snow up until this morning. It will be snowing for the next couple of days. Most of the time our temperatures during the day have been in the forties to low fifties. Yesterday it was 51.

Esperanza Spalding

Esperanza Spalding

Beautiful

Coco is "Winning"

Coco knows how to open the back door. She often lets herself in when she is finished playing or watching squirrels outside.

Some times she comes in so she can tell me, "Hey Ma, C'mon, it's a nice day outside. Come and see. The sun is out. This is just the kind of day you like. Let's play!!!!!

Come on Maaaa!!!!!!!!!!



Clearly, Coco is "Winning!"

Is she a cutie or what?!

Unidentified Growth in Forest Preserve Mystery Solved

It was yet another beautiful day in the mid-forties in Chicago the 8th of January, 2012. We came across an odd growth when we were walking in a forest preserve nearby. I have never seen anything like it. So I put several pictures together in this collage.

If anyone has any idea what this could be let me know. It was a yellowy-sienna with a burnt umber linear mark in each nodule. Each individual one was shaped like a tooth with the depth of it being below the surface; coned there in a cluster. It was fibrous inside and the fibers were much more dense than any mushroom I've ever seen. At first I thought maybe it was an orange. But as we looked at others we found along the trail it was clear that these were not rotting oranges. I've never seen anything like it. So there's that.

And here's this.

Thank you!!! It is a Maclura Pomifera or an Osage Orange.

Here is a cool link.

The Sky is Falling And Birds And Cattle Are Too

Reasons why hundreds or even thousands of fish suddenly die off and then within a few days people get up and find to their horror dead birds all over the streets and their yards?

Zebra muscles? Those pesky zebra muscles that settle on rocks can be stirred up and then the fish all massively get contaminated with disease and then the birds eat the fish and then they die too? If this was too, it would be gradual. Because if the fish start to die, they feed somewhere else. All kids of fishies do the same thing. So these immigrant muscles, these zebra muscles infiltrate the waters and then the fish, being stupid fish, they dig and stir up these muscles and they eat them and then they die. Poor fish. Sad fish. And then the birds eat these fish and they don't stop eating them. And then they go to fly in the sky and then just all fall down and die.

A mystical electrical storm confused all of these birds to fly at night, in an electrical storm? Birds don't fly during storms. That's why is gets really quiet before a storm. Birds follow air currents. They move because of the temperature and temperature changes and which way the wind blows. So all of the sudden, birds falling from the sky because they got confused? Really?

And if these lunatic birds decided to go on a night flight, and these particular birds fly during the daytime, then why weren't there massive power outages from power surges?
They got scared and flew into the sky and went crazy and just died from fright because of fireworks? Seriously? And we don't find hundreds or thousands of birds dead on the ground the day after the forth of July because why?





No dead fish. No birds falling from the sky. Not even the same continent. So what's the buzz. Tell me what'sa happening?

Some interesting information. I don't know what the reasons are. But it was near 50 degrees in Chicago the past few days. We haven't had any lasting accumulation of snow. Only a couple of dustings with maybe an inch that evaporated within a couple of days. This is normally the coldest time of the year for us and yet when I was walking my dog a few days ago I saw a front yard with yellow dandelions in full bloom and their seed puff balls all up like it was an early spring day in April.

4.0 Magnitude Ohio Earthquake and Fracking

When I first heard of the 4.0 earthquake in Ohio I thought, wow, that's pretty unusual. A 4.0 is a pretty good shake. Though I had experienced a 7.0 in California so I had experienced worse. But still, I thought, Ohio. Hum.

And that was about all I thought about it until I read the article I've copied for you. Again, it is a clear example of how we are mucking up this planet that feeds us and gives us life with our ignorance. We are playing at things we don't understand. And the consequences are going to be severe. We are already seeing an unusual wobble to our planet. All my life the currents of wind went from east to west. The Midwest was like a belt around the center. And during the different seasons we would get dips as the planet wobbled and either arctic winds would blow and bring us snow or we would get severe thunderstorms or tornadoes from the clash of hot weather and moderate temperatures that have always been normal for the Midwest.

Now the belt is like a sash over the shoulder of our planet. And it is as cold at night in Florida as it is here. And it is January and we still haven't had much snow. Not even a few inches. Was it the blasts of the Fukushima Nuclear Power Plant explosions? Or the Fracking going on that we know so little about?

The masses may be asses but those with half a brain and all the intelligence a good score can quantify don't know much better. There is no respect for the planet and no thought that what they are thinking of doing so they can make more money, could destroy our planet; our fresh water; our seafood and our crops. We will likely have a drought this coming summer because we haven't had enough snow. The temperature of our earth is actually too warm and the light snow we have gotten a few times hasn't lasted more than a few days.

I read a lot of articles and view YouTube videos of these events. And then the ones that I think provide the most information I am sharing with you.



CLEVELAND (Reuters) - A 4.0 magnitude earthquake in Ohio on New Year's Eve did not occur naturally and may have been caused by high-pressure liquid injection related to oil and gas exploration and production, an expert hired by the state of Ohio said on Tuesday.
Ohio's Department of Natural Resources on Sunday suspended operations at five deep well sites in Youngstown, Ohio, where the injection of water was taking place, while they evaluate seismological data from a rare quake in the area.
The wells are about 9,000 feet deep and are used to dispose of water from oil and gas wells. The process is related to fracking, the controversial injection of chemical-laced water and sand into rock to release oil and gas. Critics say that the high pressure injection of the liquid causes seismic activity.
Won-Young Kim, a research professor of Seismology Geology and Tectonophysics at the Lamont-Doherty Earth Observatory at Columbia University, told Reuters in an interview on Tuesday that circumstantial evidence suggests a link between the earthquake and the high-pressure well activity.
"We know the depth (of the quake on Saturday) is two miles and that is different from a natural earthquake," said Kim, who is advising the state of Ohio.
Data collected from four seismographs set up in November in the area confirm a connection between the quakes and water pressure at the well, Kim said.
"There is circumstantial evidence to connect the two -- in the past we didn't have earthquakes in the area and the proximity in the time and space of the earthquakes matches operations at the well," he said.
A spokesman for Ohio Republican Gov. John Kasich, a strong supporter of oil and gas exploration in the state, said Ohio could announce a preliminary decision whether to continue the suspension of the wells as early as Wednesday.
The state was already looking into the cause of earlier seismic activity from 10 previous earthquakes, beginning in March, 2011.
According to Kim, this is not the first time Ohio tremors have been linked to human activities. "We have several examples of earthquakes from deep well disposal in the past," Kim said.
A quake of 4.2 magnitude in Ashtabula, Ohio, on January 26, 2001, was believed to be due to deep-well injection, he said. And in 1987 there was an incident with a correlation to high pressure deep well injection, he said.
There are 177 so-called "class two" deep wells in Ohio, according to Tom Stewart, executive vice president of Ohio Oil and Gas Association. They all operate under federal guidelines spelled out by the Clean Water Act.
There is no evidence that the wells in Youngstown were operating at higher pressures than allowed, Stewart said.
"We haven't seen anything from anyone at (the state agency) that would lead us to believe that the well was not operating properly," he said.
Kim said that even though the wells have stopped pumping water into the rock, the area might not have experienced its last earthquake. "It could take a couple of years for the earthquakes to go away. The migration of the fluid injected into the rock takes a long time to leave," Kim said.
Ohio's Democratic Senator, Sherrod Brown, said the quick response by the state shows it is a serious issue.
"There are things we need to know about drilling and earthquakes," Brown told Reuters on Tuesday.
Brown said he supports new energy exploration that brings jobs to the state but has questions about how companies will handle fracking and wastewater disposal. "They have got to answer the question of what they are going to do with the waste just like nuclear power," Brown said.
(Editing by Greg McCune and Jim Marshall)

Holiday Season

What does this Holiday Season mean?

I remember back when people who believed differently would not say, "God bless you." to each other because they thought it would have been some how disloyal to their own religion. It was as if some how it would have been an act of heresy to acknowledge your God would cross over some invisible line and bless them.

After my accident and brain injury I couldn't keep track of days and holidays anymore. And the divine reasons people came up with to try to explain what had happened to me and why; didn't make any sense or make me feel better. Yet, during that time I never felt more connected to whatever it is that moves through it all. Call it God or E=MC2, Tao or "The Force": I have found that "a rose by any other name would smell as sweet." In other words, it is what it is.

We like to have our little formulas that we hope will help us predict outcomes. But life is a changing thing. And what people have believed defines life one year, or one decade or even a thousand years; has all proven to be well, not an absolute truth. We don't know everything. Nobody does. And yet people still try to prove they know it all. As though that was important. It isn't. It's what you do with what you know that makes a difference.

I remember my grandmother used to say, "Give me a person with an ounce of common sense over a person with a PhD any day." I didn't understand this at the time but I listened to her anyway. I remembered her words when I met kind people, honest from the inside out, who lived well. And I met educated people who lived in their own filth and couldn't get out of the way of their own rationalizations to connect with their friends or family. Of course, I have met all kinds of people. Grandma didn't mean all educated people were slobs. But I have come across a few who lived like this, which gave me an insight into what Grandma meant. Soap and water is cheap she used to say. Just give it a little elbow grease and make it shine. Grandma had grown up on a small farm in southern Illinois. She used to say a lot of cool things that have floated up to the surface of the abyss that is now what is left of my memory. And I cherish every phrase that comes back to me in her voice.

This is what I think now. I think every moment is precious. Every moment is an opportunity to show the people we love how much we love them. Every moment is a moment of hope. A moment we can make a change for the better. A moment we can stop wandering through life; distracted by shiny baubles and things that don't last. And a moment we can learn something new. It doesn't have to be an absolute truth to be of value.

It's interesting that the things that really last, beyond memories and accomplishments and possessions, won or earned, are all intangible. Love, compassion, listening, hope... this is the good stuff. Where it originated or if it extends to a galaxy far, far away doesn't matter. It is what we understand in the here and now; what we open our minds to understand with in our hearts, that's what ultimately matters.

Now that's freedom. That's the berries. That's the kind of love that can move mountains. Regardless of personal or religious beliefs: That love and compassion and grace transcends the teachings, rites and traditions that are still being practiced and also those that have been forgotten. And that love and hope and grace is something truly wonderful to share.

Have a great holiday season; loving and sharing your graciousness and compassion with those in your lives and those you meet along the way. Share it freely. Especially, when the storms come. Because will storms come and they will go. But the love you give, that is what really matters.

Genetically Modified Organism or GMOs

I first became aware of Genetically Modified Organism or genetically modified foods back in the 1990s. We were living out in the country and a large cereal corporation in Battle Creek was going to be using these modified oats and corn in their cereals. And the few people the knew about it at the time, didn't like the idea. I didn't like it either.

I remember the first time I went into a store that sold everything from clothing to household items and I saw a stack of pizzas in an open frozen container and there was a sign on the tippy top and it read, "Now using real cheese." Yeah. Really. I never thought to check in the ingredients for whether or not real cheese was being used on my frozen pizza. So I stopped buying anything with cheese in it or on it that was made in this country. Especially, if I couldn't be sure nothing genetically engineered was being used to make it. And I found out it had infiltrated just about everything. Even rice. Even Wheat. Adding chemical components to natural foods to create a desired affect, like never feeling full. Ingenious for food supplier. Pretty soon everything can be a chemical compound and we will all be completely reliant on these companies to provide our food for us. I mean one day someone said to me I couldn't drink six cans of water in half an hour. And still want to drink more. Why is that? So on the rare occasion I have a beer I drink a Guinness. Because about half way through I have thoroughly enjoyed my beer and I felt satisfied. I don't think I've ever had a full glass. And I get the smaller ones. I get full when I eat a carrot but could eat a sandwich on wheat bread and not feel full. Gradually I have made changes in what I buy and what I eat. And whenever I deviate from this I always feel, physically feel, different. But maybe that's just me.

I don't ever like it when new, unproved things, are pushed on the people and we aren't given a choice about it. One of the head guys made a comment that was something like, the people don't know what these are and they don't care. Well, this caused a ruckus and got way more attention than the processing companies wanted, who were providing this modified food to the cereal company and so the big guy got fired or relocated somewhere else and the noise quieted and everything went back the way it was. And GMO's were slowly introduced into packaged foods and now, on the store shelves or your fresh fruits and veggies and juices. Like it or not.

I got to thinking about this and was glad I was growing my own food. With saved seeds and without any pesticides. My organic pasture provided for livestock in the area, including my own. And my llamas and donkeys provided plenty of fertilizer the old fashioned way. In the fall I spread hay over my garden and used I used it to help slow down the weeds in between the rows in the spring. Low tech and healthy. And as I worked in my garden I used to notice that the insects seemed to be there and then I'd see them leave and others would come. I went to a really interesting communal house that did gardening and trained oxen and made yolks and they were studying the use of these insects and chickens to keep the insect population down and help fertilize their crops.

I began to further realize why the wild quail that lived on my farm were so helpful and necessary. And then I started to think, I wonder if isolating crops goes contrary to nature. I wonder if I grew areas of certain foods without rows and grew other fruits or veggies and flowers would have a positive affect on the birds that would visit and the insect population. And this turned out to be a good thing. When I moved to Illinois I began with making sure my land was free of sprays and chemicals. After seven years I started adding pretty bushes and trees. I liked pruning them and watching them grow. And then I started adding onions and garlic and herbs. This past year is my tenth here and I decided it was time to start planting berries. So I planted a patch of black raspberries and a couple of blueberry bushes; none of which had been genetically engineered. One of the blueberry bushes didn't make it. But everything else thrived. It got some kind of bug all over it and I didn't want it to spread and didn't know what else to do and it was already dying by the time I noticed it. So I pulled it and got it away from my healthy plants.

Then I found out more about GMO's and seeds and I found out about this great resource.
Here is the link:
Heirloom Organic Seeds

This year I'm planting beans, all kinds of beans, all along my raw wood fence. And I'm going to plant some grapes and tomatoes (from my own heirloom seeds) out front. My goal is to have a front and back yard that looks like a naturally varied source of food.

Through the years of watching my plants, the food, where they were growing best and when to plant them I learned something. Plants are a carrier of bug business, some times its waste and some times its new little bugs in a kind of clear looking goo. The relationship between the two is absolutely symbiotic. I started thinking maybe I was on the right track with random growing. And seeing what grew well together and that maybe this would also keep the insects there but not so much that they took over the garden and ate all of the food it produced. And you know what? Without knowing which bugs went where, between the birds and other bugs, I had healthy plants and lots of happy birds.

And then it occurred to me that just as with mother's milk, all of the healthy germ and disease fighting stuff we had taken a life time to develop in our own bodies and was passed along to our babies, well, just maybe we needed these bugs in our gardens to do the same thing for us. There are lots of people in this country who have all kinds of immune deficiencies and ailments. Maybe from looking at plant life through the lens of a lab, all separated and sterile, we are causing harm, not only to the plants and insect life, but to ourselves as well.

I decided to see what others were saying about GMO's and I was SHOCKED to see what is going on today. These are some very good videos that will help to inform you. There is a reason why other countries do not want crops from our country. There is a reason why so many people in this country look like cows. Everything is corn fed. I mean everything. Shrimp. Beef. Pork. Chickens. And it makes its way into our cows milk too. And it isn't just corn, its also soy and all kinds of other foods. Monsanto is a huge company that has been working on this for years.


In order to make better decisions we need to know more. One thing we can do is write our congressmen and make sure that all of our food that has been genetically modified has a clear label saying its ingredients contain GMO's in them. But another way is to make sure we get good seed and we don't pollute the land we are lucky enough to live on, even if it is a small bit. And we can grow our own food. Even if it's just herbs in the beginning or one tomato plant or one berry bush. It is a start. And good starts grow into trends. And maybe farmers will find they do better when they use good seed and dry a portion of the seeds from their crops themselves so they can ensure their seeds are not polluted by GMO's. Empowerment is more about the choices we make to take steps toward making our lives, the lives around us and the earth a better place.

It's like this, I was raised to look in a room when you enter it. And make sure it looks the same or better when you leave it. So if you bring a glass in the room with something to drink in it, when you leave the room, pick up the glass and clean it in the sink. When I lived in a communally, years ago, this basic principal worked. We all cleaned up after ourselves and nobody had to tell us what to do. And by doing the right thing ourselves, we all lived well together. I miss those days.

I've seen documentaries and heard tales of farmers getting bullied into buying genetically modified seed and pesticides and how feeding the crops that grew from these seeds has had an effect on the infertility of their livestock. I've seen a documentary about how six months after a farmer stopped using these seeds and corn and soy, their pigs went back to producing young the old fashioned way.

Silk Soymilk Labeling
GMO FREE Food Brands
Informative Site and Monsanto Documentary

Wherever you live, you have the power to make it better. You have the power to take care of it. So many people choose to be lazy. Oh they are whirring around, texting and using smart phones. While they buy processed foods, filled with GMO's or eat out so they don't have to cook and clean up after themselves. But what they are missing is that when you buy it fresh, it tastes better and you actually feel full. And in the long run it is way cheaper to eat less and put good healthy food in your body than the alternative, which leads to all kinds of nasty diseases and cancer. And your kitchen smells good when you cook something yummy in it. And you get to anticipate how it will taste. Power to the people is a nice catch phrase, but it requires involvement, personal involvement in the choices we make too. I'm not tellin, I'm just sayin. You don't have to change everything in one day. But little by little it is amazing how much you can accomplish in a year's time. If you want your grocery store to carry organic foods ask them to carry more. If you can't get them, start growing your own. If you don't have a yard use a ceramic container (not plastic - that's another story) and string and sticks and make your own garden.

When you go to the store you can figure out for yourself whether or not the food you want to buy has been genetically modified.

How? Every product has a paper label with a PLU code number. For produce that is regularly grown it is a four digit number. But Organic and GMO's have an extra number in front.
If the PLU starts with an 8, it's a GMO.
If the PLU starts with a 9, it's Organic
So remember, if you like:
8 Ain’t Great
9 Is Fine
The government may not require the FDA to specifically label our food when it has been or contains food products that are Genetically Modified Organisms. But we can read the difference between 8 and 9. 9 Is Fine Now you are empowered. Do what you want to do.

Judy Garland - Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas

This is an original recording of my favorite version of,"Have yourself a merry little Christmas," sung by Judy Garland.



It still brings a tear to my eye when I hear it.

Princess Mononoke

The animation of this anime was amazing. I loved the way nature moved, so naturally. The artist quality of this film was fantastic.

I have seen it a couple of times and this last time I started getting it on a few different levels. This is a movie I will enjoy revisiting and thinking about.

It's way cool.

Larry Crowne

I just watched the movie, "Larry Crowne," starring Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts. The other characters in the film were genuine and added to this multi-dimensional story.

I liked it. It was a movie about the times we are living in and the people we meet through the changes we face along the way. It introduced us to all kinds of relationships with all kinds of people. And as the story unfolded it showed how life opens up, even during difficult times, when we open up to change.

Yeah, I liked it.

The Music Never Stopped

I watched a movie entitled, "The Music Never Stopped." It was a really interesting film based on an essay that Dr. Oliver Sacks wrote about a patient who was reached by a certain area in his brain through the music that he loved, after he had a brain tumor removed.

What I enjoyed the way the movie explored different relationships surrounding this case and how they evolved. Yes, it was cool to see a film that showed how love and understanding can become stagnant and then how it can come to life again.

This isn't a fancy movie. But it is interesting and it has a lot to say.

Oh, and I watched a movie recently called, "Away From Her."
I highly recommend it.

The Avett Brothers

Man, I just found out about these guys. They are too good to keep to myself. Enjoy.

Marriage?

I think the recent stats on people not being all that keen on marriage is a direct reflection of how, when given the choice, women would rather be treated as an equal partner and with respect than sacrifice who they are at the feet of someone who thinks they can abuse them or cheat on them and then leave them alone in their old age in poverty. I mean why bother to stay at home and raise the children if you won't wind up with any security and memories to share with the person you think you are going to spend the rest of your life with?

These days 51% of men in this country are not married. In the last generation 76% of the male population were married. These days 81% of women prefer not to marry. And those that are getting married are marrying much later. Women around 26 and men around 28.

It seems that women are doing pretty good. They are working and raising the kids and are more apt to keep their promises and live honorably. Most of them stay and pick up the pieces after a family has been broken a part. Granted, there are lots that are selfish and materialistic and don't have a clue about the consequences to their actions. This is demonstrated by how many of them still breed like the resources on this planet are endless. And many still watch TV and only talk with their kids when they are telling them what to do. But there are lots more that are doing a really good job raising their children and living responsibly.

We see horrible things happening in the news regarding domestic violence. I think many women have figured why settle with someone who might be or become a lunatic and try to kill you if you decide this isn't the person you want to spend the rest of your life with? Why entangle yourself financially and legally to someone who might become unstable? These are all good questions to consider when choosing your life path, no doubt.

I think the reason why a lot of people aren't marrying as young has as much to do with our financial situation as any gender issues. When parents took out second mortgages on their homes to pay for college education for their kids and then the companies they worked for "downsized" and took all of their investments with them when they filed for bankruptcy these people were left out in the cold. Their one sure investment, their homes, that they had staked everything on, were taken back by the banks. And close to 75% of those foreclosures happened after a family member got sick and went into debt trying to save their loved one. About half of those people were insured at the time. Now we have new legislation that prohibits insurance companies from promising to insure their clients only to find reasons to cancel their insurance. And now we have a national health care program that will help all of us have equal access to health care. So that's all good. Thank you President Obama. But seeing these things happen to their families had to have a devastation affect on the children that are now at that starting their own life and marry age.
health care and foreclosures
You figure one college education could go anywhere from $40-100,000 and then multiply that by two and these kids don't ever see a way past it. Not to mention ever being able to afford to buy a home and then why bother anyway when banks can change your credit rating and the government can change what your house is worth and still raise taxes so high that you can't afford to live in it or sell it either. I mean, why bother with all of this crap?

The good part of all of this is that I think people are having relationships and getting to know who they are and figuring out what they want to do before they make a lifetime commitment to someone they may not have much in common with in two years. Bravo young people for being a hell of a lot smarter than many of us were.

All that being said, every parent out there who can't help you to change this wishes with every fiber in their body that they could. Heartbreak. They never figured on the greed of that top 1%. No-one could.

Still, even with all of the trials and tribulations, pitfalls and mountains to climb, it all boils down to the love and compassion we share with one another. It really does. The rest is just window dressing.

Maybe the men of our next generation will be more responsible and more honorable. Even though a lot of their fathers abandoned their families or chose to be alcoholics or they ruined their families with selfishness and violence. I think some of the young men of this generation also saw the destruction and pain that was left in the wake of their father's irresponsible behaviors. And maybe that is just as much a part of the reason men aren't choosing to marry as the reason many claim, that they are unable to keep a commitment. Maybe because their fathers didn't set good examples they don't know how and maybe they are also afraid to try because they don't want to cause pain to their families too.

Now if more people would just take birth control more seriously, all over the freakin' world and they started waiting to have children and made a baby with someone they actually wanted to share their lives with, we really might be a whole lot better off in the future. This is something I think a lot of our young people, especially ones who are waiting to marry, are taking seriously. And that is very, very good.

Pipelines Power Plants Catastrophes and our Planet

Let the Greatest Show on Earth enter
Please
Take your seats
Sit back and watch this....

(For some reason this is uploading slowly on my computer but give it a few seconds and some good videos will follow.)



Republicans using scare tactics and threatening that Social Security is going to end blah, blah, blah; is nothing new. We've heard it all before. But for some reason this time we are supposed to be even more stupider and believe that all of the reasons why we should pay for this oil pipeline out of our tax dollars, are for our own benefit. Because well, the Great Oz knows what's best for us. Yeah, we are supposed to believe it when we are promised that thousands of jobs will be generated, even though in actuality these positions are mostly going to be temporary construction jobs. And oh, did they forget to mention that the oil pipeline will be privately owned? So that means we won't get reimbursed for building the pipeline. Well, unless you believe that they are going to actually pay their fair share of their taxes. Cough Cough.

Yeah, what we need to do is fund a project that will potentially cause catastrophic contamination of our soil and water. We can't indefinitely control the temperature, land mass and moisture (remember the Tsunami in Japan this year). So these guys want us to pay for their ability to make a ton of money on the backs of people who are desperate to work while putting themselves in an even greater position to take more advantage of us by being the only source for oil and gas in this country? Yep, and we should trust that they are going to do the right thing and not plunge our country into economic chaos because why? Because they haven't done that up until now? Really? These utility and oil and gas conglomerates have been putting the screws to business growth and individual spending in this country for decades. So let's step back for just a minute.

Instead of passing a bill taxing billionaires, of which a lot of these same guys are, billionaires; well, these same guys, of which the Republicans are speaking for, want us tax payers to make a deal where we get to pay for this pipeline to be built anyway? On accounta we are so bright? Right?


And the potential for an environmental catastrophe we would be letting ourselves in for by building this massive oil pipeline that will branch out all over the United States, from Canada to Mexico? Well, it is a disaster waiting to happen. Using tar sands and strip mining practices to get oil out of the ground is dirty business. Real dirty. Yet, this major issue is barely a bleep in the news? Why?


Once again, forget about the words and reasons, if you want to figure out which side of the coin the Republican party stands. Look at what they support. They want to abolish the EPA, the Environmental Protection Agency. Which is the last independent voice we have that can let us know if we are suffering side effects or death because of the pollution huge corporations inflict on our planet and us, every year. And the Republicans have been consistently trying to prevent a national health care program. Why? Taxes, really? They don't hesitate to ask for this oil pipeline project to be paid for with taxes. So why work so hard to stop regular folks, who can now only get part-time jobs, from having access to basic health care? Because if there isn't a national health care program then we can't determine health or illness trends. We won't be able to tie together certain appearances of cancers with being down wind of polluters. Or with drinking contaminated water from something like, I don't know, fracking?

Wake up!!! Everybody!!! It doesn't matter what party you say you support. What matters is that if both parties don't seriously come out and talk about the really serious issues we need to face, then nothing is ever going to change. Big money only wants to make more money. And big crooks only wants to figure out more clever ways to steal it and stash it. They'll lie and smile or cry and look their constituents in the eye and lie some more to keep us stupid and to keep us from having a say in the way we want our tax dollars to be spent.


But your golden ticket is your right to vote. Or not vote. And I encourage everyone to vote and if the representative you want isn't up for election than don't vote for anybody.

Look we can kick the dirt and look the other way but the truth is we need to make our planet and the way we live on it a priority. We need to work way harder on developing more solar and wind power sources for energy and we need to have better mass transit that also uses alternative sources of fuel to run them. Throwing bad money after bad investments that pollute and don't do anything to break our dependency on oil and gas are only going to leave us in a worse state than we are in right now. We need to help each other find ways to provide for our own energy so we are not dependent on any huge company for our well being anymore. We need to stop polluting. We are breathing in toxic gas with every breath we breathe already.
Check out these recent disasters caused by oil, gas and nuclear power plants.


We can't ensure these pipelines are going to be safe because the earth changes. It moves. And with seasonal changes and moisture and temperature changes comes instability. The earth will move and pipelines will rupture and leaks will occur and explosions will happen without warning. And that you an take to the bank.


Gas Pipeline Leak and Explosion in North Texas

Gas Leak Explosion in Philedelphia


And Nuclear Power Plants

The average life of a nuclear power plant is seventy years. They are expensive to build and to maintain. But we have to keep the spent fuel cool for 10-20,000 years. It isn't efficient in and it isn't safe on any level in the long run.

Whether nuclear bombs are set off during a time of war or nuclear accidents are caused by a natural disaster like the Tsunami in Japan in 2011 or whether they are caused when a nuclear plant is shut down because of ignorance; the effect is the same; massive destruction and radioactive pollution. We are destroying the planet we rely on to live and breathe and drink water from and water our crops from. How does that make any sense?

It doesn't matter why people justify their reckless, irresponsible greed anymore. It doesn't matter what a political party says anymore. We all need to pull together to stop from causing any more harm to our environment. Because if we don't all of nature and all of us will suffer. And it won't matter then, what political party you voted for. Because it will be too late.

It's Nature's Way


I remember seeing blue skies across this country when I traveled all over it during the early seventies. And I remember coming back to the mid-west and there was a reddish tinge to the sky and it reached far beyond the cities out into the plains. And then I remember driving back across the country in the late eighties and it was everywhere.

It takes three days for the air and all of its pollutants, including radiation, to span the planet. It doesn't go away. It changes the air, water and soil. The plants drink up the polluted water with its roots. The rain and snow dump it from the sky back to earth. The wind blows it all over the ground and water and in the air. And this affects all life on earth.

We can pretend it doesn't matter. We can pretend what is going on in D.C. isn't happening and that the representatives there that are pushing the oil and gas pipeline agendas as a means of saving our economy are really looking out for our planet and our pocket books.

But we bear the responsibility for being ignorant and for turning the other way and just buying into the conversation that keeps us polarized as a nation.

Does it make any sense at all to destroy the planet we rely on for our survival? On what planet would this make any sense? Maybe that answer is in the question.

Timex Watch

I am so happy with my old Timex watch. I got it on ebay for about $8.00 including shipping and it runs perfectly. The best part about it is I can read it and the tick is steady and strong. I got so I couldn't afford the batteries for a new watch every year. And my old band had broken. So I thought, Timex, it takes a licking and keeps on ticking, right? Well it's true!!! This watch is over fifty years old. Man oh man. I'm loving it!!

Skull Painting

Some one I love very much asked me to paint a skull. You know, the way you do.

So here is a skull, you know, the way I do. It's a watercolor gouache.

December Poems 2011

December Poems by Jenn Weinshenker 12/08/2011


Through a Glass Dimly

We may live in troubled times
But this is nothing new

People have always taken more than they need
And kept to themselves,
The best of part of what they had to offer
Their hearts

We have all done this
Afraid to
Simply take responsibility for
What we thought and how we lived

Disappointments
Financial hardship and
Challenges of all kinds
Weave through our days
Like some kind of carpet
Shaken and cleaned in the midst of a hurricane
That's life

But what has been the very best part
Of all of it
For me
Has been loving people and then
One day finding out that the people I've loved
Have actually loved me back
Who knew?

I'm so glad in the unpredictable
Every changing mist and ice
We didn't miss each other


It’s Rarer Still

It’s always so rare and lovely
To see graciousness
A little goes such a long way

When we are engaged with
The beauty of life
All of this stuff
Doesn’t mean so much
And that appreciation dealeo?
It’s turned out to be the berries



Friends

Life some times
Is rocky
And then some times
We can hop on
And enjoy the slide

It’s funny isn’t it
How the more we let go
Of the things that continue to
obscure our view
The more we wind up
Appreciating what we see
Clearly

Friends who knows this and
Share this with one another
Are rarer still


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Barn Owls

I heard a barn owl in the Hickory tree.
Or maybe it was in the Elm.
I'm not sure.
But there it was anyhow
Hooting its late night call.

We used to have huge barn owls
That lived in an old abandoned barn across the road.
I loved hearing them in the wee hours.
Watching them suddenly appearing through the shadows,
swooping and
disappearing again into the wood.

Someone told me they were an omen of death.

But I have heard them whoo whooo many times
And nobody dropped dead the next day.
Not even me.

A Dead Crow

Coco and I went to our favorite park today.
We were alone there to wander the trails
In a lovely harmony

Coco is learning how to search on command
To show me
And then to take me to what she sees
To go check it out

She usually sees a black plastic bag
fluttering up against a fence
But today she saw a black form in the distance
And it turned out to be a crow
One in a family of crows I caw to whenever we are walking nearby

I told her to leave it and she did
I took a closer look and yes
It was intact and
Quietly dead

I wondered whose mother or father it was
Was it a brother
Was it a sister
And where were the rest of the crows
Why weren't they there
Watching me there
By their dearly beloved

As Coco and I made our way back to the car
We saw there in the field
The family of crows
Strolling on the ground
Tightly knit
With heads bowed
As though they were looking for something
Lost




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Where'd the money go?

Huge sums of money are being lost. The money is just disappearing. So I keep wondering, "Where is all of the money going?" There must be wire transfer records, something, somewhere. There is no way billions of dollars disappear in this country and Europe and Greece and Japan and Argentina without a trace. I don't know where it all went. But there are people who program the computers and there are transfer records when transactions are made.

Anyone who has a checking account and has transferred money or who has had an IRA or had some stocks and decides to sell them knows that there are records that shows exactly where the money goes. There can't be that many people that have access to these accounts who could move this kind of money around. Where are the leaders of these countries and why don't they have their top investigators and financial people giving them the answers? And why aren't they getting these answers? I bet my bank would know exactly where the money went if it was leaving my account! And I bet I'd know it if I transferred money into another account if it got there. So how stupid do the heads of these countries have to be to accept, "Uh, I don't know where the money went?" Somebody or a few somebodies are having one arrogant laugh at the havoc they've caused. While everyone is paying for it and losing homes and farms and businesses and countries are teetering on bankruptcy, somebody is thinking this is pretty funny.

And what is the purpose? I mean how much money does anyone really need? This is beyond greed. It seems that the purpose of all of this is to cause chaos and financial ruin. Because that is the result. That surely is the fruit of the tree. So why?

Information about Jon Corzine's handling of MF investors money in November, 2011.


The misuse of customer funds is unraveling in December, 2011.


Or they could give all future proceeds from these risky investments back to the people they stole the money from instead of trying to fear-force their customers into settling for a mere 25-65% portion of their initial investment. These accounts were not supposed to be used to borrow against. They were supposed to be guaranteed accounts that the banks or investment companies could not take and invest for their own profit. This was supposed to be money that was secured and set aside for that rainy day, which if you are a farmer or you own your own business or you are managing a retirement fund or a pension fund, is a must. That way when times are good the money stays put and when you need it you can withdraw it. This money in these personal accounts was not supposed to be used to cover bets on how the market in other countries was going to do. This is yet another example of money that was literally made in America, being siphoned off and redistributed to where? Nobody knows.

Banks and investment brokerage companies have become predatorial. There used to be regulations that prevented people from having this kind of access to their investor's money. There were rules that said, if a company says they won't borrow your money to invest in their own ventures, it would be considered criminal and embezzlement.

These rules and regulations were intended to protect the individual investor from investment brokers who might forget that the money they were recklessly handling wasn't their own.

Wasn't this what caused our financial downfall in the first place? This lack of accountability has tumbled through the economies in other countries as well. To bet against how much money other countries would have access to in bailouts is just so creepy.

Since there are apparently a whole lot of people who get an adrenaline rush out of this risky business and who have even less accountability when the chips don't just fall, they crash and burn; maybe it's time to keep smaller amounts in savings accounts and more of our savings in a safety deposit box! At least then you have control over who has access to your money.

This is all such a mess. It's like a shell game. Only the people getting hurt are losing homes, farms, businesses and their retirement funds and pensions. So really, where's the money going? It's going somewhere. People who play fast and lose with money like this also make sure to take care of themselves. They are at the top of the, "I'm gonna get my share," list. So where are they stashing it? Who are they talking with days before the money disappears? How hard can it be to track where the money is going?

If chaos was the aim, well, somebody has hit the target! Now it is up to the people who can sort this out to do their jobs. And if they can't or won't - they need to get fired.

United Way Fundraising Kick Off in Chicago December, 2011

Coco and I were part of the United Way Fundraising Kick Off in Chicago. Mary Beth brought my daughter Rebekah and Coco and me to this event. We had a wonderful time and met some lovely people there.

Trunks and Limbs

Well, I am finally happy, very happy with the tree trunks and limbs. Lots more to go but this phase is all set. There is a lot more orange and all sorts of colors in them but I don't have time to get the lighting right today.

It's feeling good. I so love it when that happens.

This Bird Digs Ray Charles

This bird digs Ray Charles.



There is always a lot of serious work to be done. But every now and then we gots to take a little break and just dance.

Senate Declares USA Battleground - Syria Violence Against Protesters

Politicians refer to the USA as the greatest county on earth. It is such an ignorant, arrogant, narrow minded perspective that it is embarrassing to hear it when one of our "leaders" says it. We may have had moments of greatness but the greatest on earth? The earth is a really, really big place. And there are a whole lotta people who live on it in all kinds of countries that also have moments on greatness in their histories.

A Bill was introduced and passed during the wee hours you ought to know about. It declares the entire USA a national battleground and gives the military the right to arrest, innocent or guilty indefinitely or shoot at USA citizens on American soil.

Check out these links.

Senate Declares Entire USA Battleground

Bill Information - A Must Read

Government Killing Peaceful Syrian Protesters December 6, 2011 - Link to excellent CBS Report and live video.

This is just one more compelling reason why once again history and current events prove that the police and "Government Security Forces," should never be allowed to fire on its own people. If the people are not being represented and they want those who are taking advantage of them to, "Leave," - It's time to go. Firing on unarmed civilians is always wrong. Governments change, they need to change along with the people or they become obsolete. The ones who have secret deals and are ripping people off always seem to think they can get away with it one more day. But they always pay the price. Over 4,000 people have been killed. This is so wrong.

The only reason this doesn't happen here is because we have laws that have up until now, protected us from allowing those in power, especially armed, being allowed to intimidate the citizens of our country into submission. We are guaranteed the right to peaceably assemble and to voice our opinions and to not agree with our government and the people that are supposed to be representing us.

99% of the people here have been screwed by the system. Whether it has been due to sweetheart deals, backroom shenanigans that have allowed industries to pollute our air, ground and water or whether it is because insurance companies were allowed to take our money and then rescind their coverage when our loved ones got sick or whether our pensions suddenly disappeared from the stock market; there probably truly is only 1% of this country that hasn't suffered because of the lies and "not doing the right thing" these politicians have done. And we all know it, that is unless your only news source is FOX.

The republicans have using fear tactics and intimidation and using all of their power to either screw with our votes or take away our civil rights or to stop our financial growth so that President Obama doesn't get any credit for all of the hard work he has been doing. And I don't fault them. Because it is the everyday, regular people who have voted these people into office. Too many people have gotten lazy and have not been paying attention to what is going on. Watch CSPAN.org Open your eyes. Or don't. If you don't insist on intelligent, honest, hard working representatives in the government then you won't have them. Listening to a few buzz words and voting in those who hide behind one or two extremist issues so they can get voted into office and then cow tow to the powers that be, creating an environment where corruption and intimidation continues to grow, is on all of us for not being better citizens.

We all have our own bit of responsibility to take. Some people were wasteful and unwise in the way they spent their money. Some didn't take the initiative to walk their kids to school and pick them up afterwards. Some stood by and watched as their neighborhoods change for the worse. And tons of lazy parents let their kids run wild and didn't make sure they were home after school, with the TV turned off, working on their homework. Every body has their bit to pick up and change. To sit back and point our fingers at government officials doesn't change anything. And it isn't a true depiction of exactly who is responsible for the disfunctional government we are left with either because guess what - we are all responsible.

Look, right now I'm not too keen on some of the democrats in Chicago who have supported the whole parking fiasco. Using high rates to park and huge costly tickets to generate income isn't even penny wise and pound foolish - it's plain old fashioned bad economics. Guess what, you'd do better cutting taxes and encouraging people to spend their money in Chicago having a good time and enjoying the culture here. That way they might actually want to - oh I don't know - come back! And casinos to create jobs? Really? We need to create solar and wind power industries in this part of the country - NOW. Industries the people can work at to support their families on. Industries that don't mess up our planet and that will help us become more independent from the utility and oil mega-conglomerates that think they own this country. And maybe they do.

So here is just an idea, if no-one in your party represents you don't vote for any of them. Write someone in you think is honest. Don't just vote for somebody who knows where the church front door is. Anybody can walk into a church. Anybody can walk into a house of worship. That doesn't mean they are an honest, hard working person. So stop it. Just because somebody makes money that doesn't make them smart or compassionate or a responsible person who is going to think about the needs of ALL of their constituents above their own and more importantly above their own party agenda. We find this to be true with democrats and republicans. We need representatives that are willing to work hard to try to get things done that are going to be beneficial for everybody. Get over the flashy car syndrome and think for yourself. And yeah, it might give you a headache. But at least you'll be awake.

This is what freedom is all about. This is what we are taking for granted. In other countries that having been paying a very high price for it, they can't say what they think about their officials. They can't vote for who they want to represent them. They are intimidated into going along. Only people can't go along forever. That is also something we have learned in history over and over again.

So pick up the pace and regardless of party preference; send an email or write to your representative and tell them you don't want any version of any bill passed that gives the police or the military or any other governmental "security force," the right to detain without representation, indefinitely or to shoot American citizens in the USA. You want to be a patriot? Try doing that. Because no matter what opinions we have or what party we vote for that is at the core of what makes America and its people great.

Everyone Screwed by System Join Occupy

I know. And when you are a first time buyer and you don't know any better you trust what you think are reliable people to advice you, like the loan company or the real estate agent. I remember when we were buying our first place, a lovely condo in California, and the Realtor was really pushing us to spend to the limit what we could get a loan for because real estate always goes up. We had grandparents who gave us great advice and we took it.

Real estate goes up and down and when it goes down it is because the economy goes down. So you want to save and put a good sized down payment on your house and then spend way less than what you can afford. Pay it off, you'll have other expenses later on, like college for your kids. People were in such hock for their mortgages that when college time came around they took out second mortgages to pay for their kids' education and then they got laid off due to "out sourcing" and "down sizing." It was all BS.

I know people who have had buyers for their short sale houses and the banks didn't get back with them after months of trying to get their place sold. And even when the buyer had the money. Between the banks and the insurance companies the decks were loaded from the get go. The number one reason for foreclosures has been due to medical expenses when a loved one got cancer or some other critical disease. I know people who were "let go," when a loved one got cancer and they lost everything because of the loss of insurance and then miraculously after the person died, the other person got called and got their job back. Lots of regular, everyday people have gotten screwed by the huge corporations that have owned the republican party. Not that there haven't been democrats that have voted their way too, there have been. That is why it is so important that everyone who has been screwed by all of these destructive policies get out there and join the Occupy Wall Street folks. The American people have gotten screwed and then blamed for this mess. It's disgusting. And the 99% are sick of it.

Here's an informative link.

Bombino

Bombino, I may not know what the words mean but I can feel your seeking soul and the peace you are finding on your journey and I'm diggin' the way you are sharing it.

Starting Out In The Evening

Just when I thought the best days of North American film had come and gone I watched, "Starting Out In The Evening."

This film was wonderfully engaging. All of its characters were true. They were not at all the typical in your face actors that are so filled with their own ego it gets in the way of the character they are portraying. Subsequently, diminishing the story they are sharing with their audience.

Frank Langella, how many times must he have heard, you aren't leading man material? He always played strong supporting roles and he is surely an excellent actor. But taking the lead like this? His performance was absolutely masterful. He was Leonard Schiller. Bravo! His performance was subtle and understated and genuine. His relationships never felt insincere. There were no lapses between the consciousness he was creating and the one he was so generously sharing with his co-stars.

Lili Taylor has a delightful personality but I always felt it got in the way of the character she was portraying. She was too eager. Not willing to allow her self to disappear. Needing to act just right, straight into the camera, as though that was where her need for approval would be satisfied. At least that was the way I felt when I watched her perform before. But in this film she did the damn thing. She was gentle and authentic. There wasn't one minute when I was distracted from who she was in this movie by who she was as an actor. Lili was another delightful surprise in ,"Starting Out In The Evening." Well done.

Lauren Ambrose could have very easily been an ambitious cliche but she wasn't. She was complex, deliciously east coat real and she did her character with the ease of a master's brush. How lovely. And so young.

Adrian Lester gave a quietly charming and multi-dimensional performance that was never for a second disingenuous. He was a man without being macho and he was a thinking man without being a wuss. That's rare these days. I loved the way his character began on the periphery and then came into focus as he became more engaged with the other characters in this film.

All this being said, the stellar performances of all of these actors must be in some part due to the director, Andrew Wagner, who also co-wrote the screen play, along with Fred Parnes. I so enjoyed being taken away, into a world that was honest and layered with life's experiences and heart. It was yummy. You didn't take the short cut and tell me what was happening. You created a lovely venue for the story of these characters to unfold. I felt like I was experiencing, right along with them, what was going on in their lives. There is so little patience and attention to skillful writing these days. And directors that give the actor the guidance and space to not "tell us" everything. We go right along with these actors as they are thinking about life or what they are going to do or not do next.

Just when I thought good writing and good material and insightful direction had become a sacrifice to the big picture, bottom line crap I've seen in North American films, this lovely gem appears on the shelf at my library and my faith in our ability to share a good story has been restored. Oh, and the soundtrack as the movie closes is enchanting too. All the way around and through this movie was aces.

On a personal note, I often feel like I've cheated death when I've finished a piece. I feel like popping a bottle of champagne and making a declarative toast in my living room, "Aha!! I finished another one before you got me!" I'm motivated to write and paint something true. Whether it is ever read or recognized by anyone else is irrelevant. To reveal this in the Leonard Schiller character was so cool. I've seen writers portrayed as drinkers and thinkers but dedicated to their work, regardless of what others think about it? Being willing to reveal themselves through their work, even when it is unintentional? Well, that was just the berries. And definitely invigorating.

The Wind Journeys

I watched, "The Wind Journeys,"and was struck first by the brilliant cinematography.
the remote vistas in South America
the miles and miles of a journey
its characters passed through
and the humanity that was found
in the most unforeseen place imaginable
kept me riveted

the story of, "The Wind Journeys,"
wasn't linear or formulaic, it was
oblique

I have been a traveler
and have felt comfortable
most of the time
in my solitary life
and along the way I've met quite a few
intriguing strangers
so I could relate with the broad strokes
and subtle introspection
this film portrayed with ease

every step of this journey
on hooves and feet
until their destiny was realized
in the purpose
that had long been over
looked
was way cool

it wasn't fancy
but it was undeniably real

qualities sorely lacking in North American film

story telling
has become
a lost art
here anyway

most of the contemporary
North American films I've seen lately
have a genre
a stylized version of life
that is whiny
filled with
frame by framed
closeups
and closedins
that couldn't get out of their own way
let alone find it
if their miserable
awkward lives depended on it

I have a hard time sitting through the hours
of poor me
I'm the disastrous compilation
of a life unlived
woe alas yawn
all I can say is
shit or get off the pot

I was in my early teens when I realized
thank you Grandma
that if life isn't happening around you
you be happening
if the people you know aren't going anywhere
you go somewhere
go to a library and read a book
talk with people you have nothing in common with
listen to music from another land
try something new
travel

early on I understood that being engaged in my own life
meant opening up to the possibilities
that maybe my little insignificant life
was connected by and through all of the energy
that moved by and through
all of the rest of it

with a brain injury
without money
with loads of work
done
and undone
and kids
and livestock
and more forgotten
than could ever be remembered
my life has been interesting
and certainly never dull
though there was plenty of reason
to cry in my soup
and some times I gut-sobbed
to be sure
yet
life has been filled with more joy
than sorrow
and it is for this reason
that I don't have much patience
for maudlin myopic self-reflections
by people who squawk like wanton children
whose only awareness is
I want I want
and I can't get what I want
you get it for me
at some point
it is a good idea to figure out
how to stand up and take care of yourself
and maybe just maybe
open your eyes to the world around you

and that is what this movie
"The Wind Journeys"
was about
pure and simply put