Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Monday Monday and its Tuesday

Monday was a delightful day. Coco and I did a fundraiser for United Way. And I met some wonderful people and enjoyed the continuing friendship with a couple of people I work with through United Way and the Ray Graham Association.

I was looking forward to painting but when I got home I was tired. Which often happens after I've been to an event. I even napped which I hardly ever do. And now late Tuesday, I'm still not quite awake.

These lulls that happen some times, they always scare me a little. I'm always afraid my mind will slip back into that nothingness that has challenged me since the brain injury and I won't find my way back.

Some times I just need to remember that when my focus is waning, its just for awhile. And I just need to go with it and relax until it comes back. Regardless of my expectations, reality has a way of tempering all of that every now and then.

Coco is such a comfort during days like these. For an akita it is amazing how content she can be curled up at my feet. I think she knows when I'm not doing well. Usually, we go for walks at least once a day. It is so sweet the way she lays right up against my legs or feet on days like these.

I wish there was a way to keep this from happening. But it is a sacrifice for having a life worth living. It isn't brought on by anything bad or sad happening. Yesterday was a wonderful day. I even remembered to put in my ear plugs to lessen the echoing and sounds. It's just going in and out of the sun and voices and processing that my brain does for a little bit of time and then it just slows down and gets stuck for awhile in neutral.

We are supposed to have severe thunderstorms tonight. It's so strange. When Coco and I went to the grocery store today there was a little breeze and it was sunny and muggy and hot. For the last two hours it has been remarkably still. No leaves moving, nothing. The calm before the storm.

It feels good to write again.

No comments:

Post a Comment