Marriage?

I think the recent stats on people not being all that keen on marriage is a direct reflection of how, when given the choice, women would rather be treated as an equal partner and with respect than sacrifice who they are at the feet of someone who thinks they can abuse them or cheat on them and then leave them alone in their old age in poverty. I mean why bother to stay at home and raise the children if you won't wind up with any security and memories to share with the person you think you are going to spend the rest of your life with?

These days 51% of men in this country are not married. In the last generation 76% of the male population were married. These days 81% of women prefer not to marry. And those that are getting married are marrying much later. Women around 26 and men around 28.

It seems that women are doing pretty good. They are working and raising the kids and are more apt to keep their promises and live honorably. Most of them stay and pick up the pieces after a family has been broken a part. Granted, there are lots that are selfish and materialistic and don't have a clue about the consequences to their actions. This is demonstrated by how many of them still breed like the resources on this planet are endless. And many still watch TV and only talk with their kids when they are telling them what to do. But there are lots more that are doing a really good job raising their children and living responsibly.

We see horrible things happening in the news regarding domestic violence. I think many women have figured why settle with someone who might be or become a lunatic and try to kill you if you decide this isn't the person you want to spend the rest of your life with? Why entangle yourself financially and legally to someone who might become unstable? These are all good questions to consider when choosing your life path, no doubt.

I think the reason why a lot of people aren't marrying as young has as much to do with our financial situation as any gender issues. When parents took out second mortgages on their homes to pay for college education for their kids and then the companies they worked for "downsized" and took all of their investments with them when they filed for bankruptcy these people were left out in the cold. Their one sure investment, their homes, that they had staked everything on, were taken back by the banks. And close to 75% of those foreclosures happened after a family member got sick and went into debt trying to save their loved one. About half of those people were insured at the time. Now we have new legislation that prohibits insurance companies from promising to insure their clients only to find reasons to cancel their insurance. And now we have a national health care program that will help all of us have equal access to health care. So that's all good. Thank you President Obama. But seeing these things happen to their families had to have a devastation affect on the children that are now at that starting their own life and marry age.
health care and foreclosures
You figure one college education could go anywhere from $40-100,000 and then multiply that by two and these kids don't ever see a way past it. Not to mention ever being able to afford to buy a home and then why bother anyway when banks can change your credit rating and the government can change what your house is worth and still raise taxes so high that you can't afford to live in it or sell it either. I mean, why bother with all of this crap?

The good part of all of this is that I think people are having relationships and getting to know who they are and figuring out what they want to do before they make a lifetime commitment to someone they may not have much in common with in two years. Bravo young people for being a hell of a lot smarter than many of us were.

All that being said, every parent out there who can't help you to change this wishes with every fiber in their body that they could. Heartbreak. They never figured on the greed of that top 1%. No-one could.

Still, even with all of the trials and tribulations, pitfalls and mountains to climb, it all boils down to the love and compassion we share with one another. It really does. The rest is just window dressing.

Maybe the men of our next generation will be more responsible and more honorable. Even though a lot of their fathers abandoned their families or chose to be alcoholics or they ruined their families with selfishness and violence. I think some of the young men of this generation also saw the destruction and pain that was left in the wake of their father's irresponsible behaviors. And maybe that is just as much a part of the reason men aren't choosing to marry as the reason many claim, that they are unable to keep a commitment. Maybe because their fathers didn't set good examples they don't know how and maybe they are also afraid to try because they don't want to cause pain to their families too.

Now if more people would just take birth control more seriously, all over the freakin' world and they started waiting to have children and made a baby with someone they actually wanted to share their lives with, we really might be a whole lot better off in the future. This is something I think a lot of our young people, especially ones who are waiting to marry, are taking seriously. And that is very, very good.