People who create chaos feel comfortable in it or they'd do something about it No matter how miserable they are and no matter how much everyone else can be all upset and want to do the right thing and make everything all better... the person in the center is getting something out of being the ring leader.
There is no changing other people. We can only transcend our own anger or frustration or need to take control and make everything all nicey nicey when they are dicey dicey by accepting people as they are and by accepting life as it is.
None of us are perfect and none of us ever knows everything or can anticipate everything. All of life is made up of lots of lessons. Its the coolest fucking class ever.
So the ride gets bumpy....so what?! This is a great big surprise? As we learn to process things and we find our own way to go with the flow we will begin to fathom how deep that concept really goes and understand life will never be fine all the time and it will always be fine.
Think of the lake. Some times, due to no fault of its own, the sea is stormy and some times its still as glass. The water has no opinion about this, the water remains fluid. The water is being water. Its ability to move with the tide, with the movement of the earth and with the place where it lives and its ability to adapt and carve out new paths to move through is what gives it its power. Life is like that for each of us. Including people who cause chaos and are miserable because they hate conflict or they hate living in chaos and can't seem to figure out how they are creating their own misery. Speaking from experience; I had was completely oblivious to the fact that I was at the center of my misery. I had no freakin' clue about what my part in all of that was until I was SO miserable that I hit a wall. At that point I chose to look at myself and face the cold hard truth and then finally accept.... oh I get it, I'm only human.
We can't take account of anyone else. What they should understand or know or how they should live. That is for each person to decide and to grow or not grow through. And its none of ours or anybody else's business. We can only determine how much, or how deep our waters will move. Even if we know the "truth" about why someone else does what they do; until they come to terms with their own life and take responsibility for it, for better and worse, nothing we think will make any difference.
I think that is why doing some good old fashioned breathing and just observing and thinking about the storms and how they are affecting us and then just facing our own fears and challenges and riding out those tough waves is what ultimately makes the difference in our own lives and in the way we live and the way our lives may affect those around us.
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