Simple Minds

Bach Vivaldi and Snow

2012-01-28T10:22:00.000-08:00

Listening to Baroque Violin Bach Concertos and Vivaldi and after a brief break coding I'm working on the last phase of the site updates. We had a light snow during the wee hours and today the sky is bright blue with occassional white puffs in the distance. The shadows stretching across the yards are stark; tracing better than an artist ever could, the bare branched limbs over the undisturbed white below. I love days like these. My akita Coco is resting peacefully at my feet and the dingbat cats, on something soft in another room, are napping.

Vegetable Garden in Front and Back Yard

2012-01-27T09:24:00.000-08:00

I've decided to till must of my front yard and grow vegetables and herbs and squash there. In the back yard I am growing berries and will add another blueberry bush and grow tomatoes and beans there too.

The first ten feet across the front yard will get lots of sun so there, I'm going to plant Squash. I am going to plant a variety of colors and plant them in wavy lines so it looks like water made of big leaves. Dotted here and there like ducks floating on the water. In the yard itself I'm going to spiral from the center and in the center I'm going to plant sunflowers, like a lovely bouquet. In a swirl out from this center I'm going to plant Indian Corn, multi-colored and indigenous. Along the base of these plants I'm going to plant herbs.

Up closer and a little to the side I'm planting potatoes. And on the other side I'm going to plant broccoli. The corn will probably come up pretty close to the front of the house so that should take care of the front yard.

In the back yard, along my wood fence the surrounds the backyard I'm planting a variety of beans all along the five foot high fence. And along the garage wall, behind my blueberries I'm planting tomatoes.

I am excited about moving further away from having a lawn. I've let the land rest for many years so it should be good.

I am thinking about including ruts running through the garden area so water can go there and then open them up with a shovel or maybe use rocks. I won't be able to run rocks along the ruts and I won't use any plastic so I'm going to need to think about this a little. I don't have enough money to use a little concrete. But I'll come up with something.

I don't have a keg for collecting water but I may use something else. Maybe glass bottles. I have a little time to think about it.

It has been fun to look through the seed catalog. This year I will be buying my seed. Next year, I will be buying less and using my own from this crop. I'm going to mulch the clippings back into the soil in the early fall and call it good. Not sure how the neighbors will feel about the organic fertilizer I'm going to use from a nearby horse farm but I'm not going to use that much and it will be mixed well so it should be okay. I may get a little straw to throw over everything and let it just settle before planting.

If you have any suggestions, feel free to share them.
Since I left my farm I always longed to have a garden again. And then I realized, so what if the only place some of my veggies will grow are in the front yard. I'm going to grow them there anyway. Every bit of land that gets sun, except a little up by the house, is going to have something edible growing in it.

Tidal Wave

2012-01-25T20:30:00.000-08:00

I just finished, "Tidal Wave." It's an oil painting on canvas, 24" x 36". I'm going to miss looking at it.

Coco and Mama Playing in Snow

2012-01-23T08:04:00.000-08:00

We finally had some good snowfall. Coco and I were having way too much fun playing in the back yard. It only stayed on the ground for three days. It is so warm now that over night it rained and most of it is gone. But we had a great time!

Coco's Subaru Outback Commercial

2012-01-20T17:10:00.000-08:00

This is Coco's first commercial. I think we need an agent!

She played a character named, "Buddy." She's such a cutie!!!

Thank you President Obama!!!!

2012-01-19T06:57:00.000-08:00

Thank you thank you thank you President Obama for not passing through the Keystone Pipeline Project. I am so grateful right now that I wish you were here. I'd fix you and your family the best breakfast and then I'd give you a big old hug!!!!

I've written extensively about this pipeline and the dangers of fracking (the process of extracting gas from under the earth through water pressure. Sounds harmless but the chemicals used are seriously polluting our water and the earth. People who have been directly impacted by this can't even water their gardens or drink their water. It smells like kerosene and it is highly explosive. To endanger communities, our fresh water supply and put in a pipeline when we all know the earth moves. Oil pipelines have been leaking into rivers, remember the Kalamazoo River catastrophe. The has had a devastating effect on our environment that does serious, long term damage to our water, wildlife and fish.

Thank you for not allowing the few that would have made a ton of money doing this, not go through with this project. It would have cost us all so much. Way more than money. And money could not have fixed (it hasn't yet) the environment damage done by these kinds of approaches to providing energy to us.

We need to provide funding to more independent people who can share and spread the wealth around. Use more local approaches so people who don't have any ties to an area can't come in a dump radio active and chemical toxic waste in areas where people don't know any better.

If you haven't read any of my posts on the subject do a word search or google or do YouTube searches on fracking or toxic dumping destroying communities and you'll find plenty of information all on your own. If you aren't informed on this subject, invest some time in doing some looking around and get informed. This will effect us adversely. And believe me, the pressure to get this pipeline through won't stop. But it won't get far if people understand how badly this will effect us, all of us, regardless of any political party.

We do need to figure out passive ways we can generate energy. But we absolutely must make preserving the environment while we are doing it a priority.

So once again - thank you thank you thank you President Obama!!!! I am so proud of you!!!!!

It's the Berries - Or Is It?

2012-01-15T09:08:00.000-08:00

One day I was walking Coco on a back road that we hadn't taken before. As we walked I noticed some deer droppings and thought, this is so cool. Deer must come along here. It is a very rare sight. When we lived in Michigan I used to see them all of the time. But here in Illinois, not so much.

On our way back we were closer to the deer droppings and I noticed that they weren't deer droppings at all. They were blue berries. Not the kind I enjoy to eat but some other kind. I had been so sure that they were deer droppings when I'd seen them before.

And I thought, isn't it interesting how our experiences become the lens we see the world through.

And I thought, this is why it is so important to keep an open mind. To give things a closer look. Because from a distance things aren't always what they seem.

When I read or watch a good documentary or program that teaches me something I am reminded that there is so much more to see; so much more to learn. I don't feel bad I don't know it all. I don't have an expectation that I should. I now realize this would be impossible and so I let it go. But I still enjoy learning.

I see conditions in the world and wonder how long will it take before we understand that this world has a fragile balance. And that we can either continue down a wasteful, consumptive, me-first path or we can open our eyes just a little bit more and consider that maybe, just maybe, we can do better. It is easy to wait around for somebody else to fix our problems. It is easy to let someone else do our thinking for us. But head in the sand or eyes wide open, searching the tree line, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize that we are doing great harm to our planet. To the fresh water that has been polluted by acid rain and chemical runoffs from power plants and industries. It doesn't take much to understand that the air we breath is polluted and this affects the way we breathe and it is killing off all kinds of insects and birds. And it doesn't take much to realize that the few who are trying to grab control of our natural resources to put us between a rock and a hard place and then to squeeze the last bit of money out of us, has been happening for decades; generations.

It is so easy to get weary of the problems that are so far beyond our control until we realize; wait a minute, there is something I can do.

Personal responsibility and personal empowerment go hand in hand. Until I take responsibility for my choices I cannot see things differently or try new approaches to solving problems or thinking things through. And that is essential when we take steps toward empowerment.

We all know that we need to move away from oil and gas. We need to take care of our water and air. But how? Well, use less power and do more manually. Make every trip you take count by running errands to and from where you need to go. Turn down our hot water heaters - that made a huge difference in my utility bill. Insulate your attic if you have one. And get solar panels or save and get outdoor motion detector solar lights. Every little bit we can do will help us to save money so we can take another step toward making ourselves more independent.

I got to thinking about how much cars cost one day. And how much insurance costs. And how much gas costs. And then how much is costs to repair a car. New tires, new brakes and all sorts of sensors that are increasingly costing more and more to replace. And I thought, this is like a toll just so you can work. Just so you can get to the grocery store. To own, operate and insure a car takes as big of a chunk out of our income as it does to pay rent. And if you have to pay for parking and you live in a city that has high rates for tickets, add on an average of a few hundred dollars onto your yearly budget. It's ridiculous. I like these zip cars in Chicago. People can become a member and they can get a car and drive it somewhere and leave it in a lot and pay get something done and that's it. And the zip cars are also great on gas mileage. We need to start figuring out exactly how much do I need something and if it isn't all of the time, is there a way to make a change that will help to lighten my heavy load?

Every time we make a decision to do something we are supporting it. So figuring out what part we are playing in this huge dilemma we are creating is a key to figuring out what we really want to do about it. If riding bikes and wearing helmets when riding on streets where there are cars and trucks is a better option than spending money on owning a car in the city then maybe its time to look into companies like the zip car. We don't all need cars all of the time. So why throw a third of your income down the hole when it is a losing proposition? Those payments and that nice new shiny car doesn't mean anything.

So many people aren't willing to sacrifice what they think they should have right now for creating the life they would find interesting and fulfilling when it involves their image of what success means. I remember seeing these big houses that took up almost all of their lots in the suburbs in the nineties. Everyone of the new houses had these huge front doors. I thought, you are going to have to heat all of that. You are going to be paying taxes on all of that. And you don't have any woods or orchards or gardens around you. And I still feel that way.

When pretense, when how things appear, means more to us than being true to who we are and what we can afford, than whose life are we living anyway? If we are working sixty hours a week and can afford to buy things but we can't have a life of our own, where are we really going?

We can all do more with less.

Blue Skies

2012-01-14T14:14:00.000-08:00

The sky is blue. Branches darkened by the moisture and snow clotted on their skin. And bright white snow spread across every property line. Blanketing us all underneath the hush of a long over due winter.

I threw snow at Coco and otherwise drank tea and painted most of the day.

While doing this my mind wandered. Those ramblings have led me here. To this keyboard. To this window. To this hope.

It began when I was listening to a classic radio station that broadcast a very patriotic shpeal on how great a country America was and it asked and then answered via Orsen Wells, the reasons why everyone wanted to live here. It boiled down to freedom and the Bill of Rights and the American Way and was sponsored by the oil industry. Honestly, I couldn't believe the grasp the oil industry had on our country or how it used gasoline to move in and out of every loop hole our country tried to put into place, to protect the environment and each other from corruption by prohibiting the very rights the program was about. Well, that's neither here nor there.

Oil and industry and acid rain and dead zones in the gulf and in rivers and lakes are a reality we can either face or deny. But its there anyway. We need look no further than to ourselves because the reasons why things have gone so haywire boils down to ignorance. Our lack of knowledge about how our life style is effecting our environment is tough to figure out. And even with research and having a glimpse of how serious this all is, we still don't seem much closer to being able to cut through the too much information age and get quick access to how our elected officials are voting. So we vote party lines to vote for the closest extreme to what we believe our middle of the road, common sense thoughts lead us.

I don't think oil or gas or a Keystone Pipeline (which is just a start) or utility corporations and the ones that own majority shares in them are nearly as much a threat to our environment as our own ignorance.

I do think that all of the "we" versus "them" banter that goes on between political parties and those who have a controlling interest in determining which way the prevailing winds blow here are a huge waste of time and resources.

We are squandering the resources of our planet when we could be so looking at all of this as an opportune time to promote and provide for companies and individuals with the tools to create more industries that work at recycling every single by-product our industrial revolution has laid in our soil. It's oily muck spreading through every living thing that relies on water and snow and stream to give it life.

All of the grabbing in the world and denying that industries have left huge cancerous blots of pollution and devastation to our earth, in the name of energy, won't help us face the problems we need to be dealing with now.

Tons of people are out of work. People who could be applying what they know to some sort of passive energy that would help us function without destroying our planet, aren't. People who could be brain storming in Washington DC, aren't. Because too many people are getting something out of keeping us ignorant. Too many people want to squeeze the last bit of money they can out of every finite resource we have.

People could be working out how to recycle this and how to get this pollutant out of our water or ground and what it could be used for that would be constructive. Too many people don't want to face the raw truth that we don't have the time to screw around anymore.

And as long as we continue to use up our natural resources carelessly, we are feeding the very same beast that will devour us once we've been all fattened for the last act.

There are so many people who would love to have a sense of purpose and who would rather be a part of the solution than the problem. And yet those behind the Keystone Pipeline are trying to force through their proposal for this and get funding from Washington DC - that's everyone's tax dollars, so they could set this massive artery through our country. Even though we know that our ground is unstable and repairing and maintaining these pipelines is dangerous and a real concern for further destruction of our eco-system.

Coco and Mama Playing in the Snow

2012-01-13T11:10:00.000-08:00

Coco and I had so much fun playing in the snow this morning. I love the way she runs and hops around. She never comes close to me when she jumps because that is the way I have trained her. So its cute the way she hops around me and the way she is so gentle when we play.

First Snow Storm in Chicago 2012

2012-01-12T16:46:00.000-08:00

We haven't even had two inches of snow up until this morning. It will be snowing for the next couple of days. Most of the time our temperatures during the day have been in the forties to low fifties. Yesterday it was 51.

Esperanza Spalding

2012-01-12T09:45:00.000-08:00

Esperanza Spalding

Beautiful

Coco is "Winning"

2012-01-10T19:57:00.000-08:00

Coco knows how to open the back door. She often lets herself in when she is finished playing or watching squirrels outside.

Some times she comes in so she can tell me, "Hey Ma, C'mon, it's a nice day outside. Come and see. The sun is out. This is just the kind of day you like. Let's play!!!!!

Come on Maaaa!!!!!!!!!!

Clearly, Coco is "Winning!"

Is she a cutie or what?!

Unidentified Growth in Forest Preserve Mystery Solved

2012-01-08T18:42:00.000-08:00

It was yet another beautiful day in the mid-forties in Chicago the 8th of January, 2012. We came across an odd growth when we were walking in a forest preserve nearby. I have never seen anything like it. So I put several pictures together in this collage.

If anyone has any idea what this could be let me know. It was a yellowy-sienna with a burnt umber linear mark in each nodule. Each individual one was shaped like a tooth with the depth of it being below the surface; coned there in a cluster. It was fibrous inside and the fibers were much more dense than any mushroom I've ever seen. At first I thought maybe it was an orange. But as we looked at others we found along the trail it was clear that these were not rotting oranges. I've never seen anything like it. So there's that.

And here's this.

Thank you!!! It is a Maclura Pomifera or an Osage Orange.

Here is a cool link.

The Sky is Falling And Birds And Cattle Are Too

2012-01-05T19:52:00.000-08:00

Reasons why hundreds or even thousands of fish suddenly die off and then within a few days people get up and find to their horror dead birds all over the streets and their yards?

Zebra muscles? Those pesky zebra muscles that settle on rocks can be stirred up and then the fish all massively get contaminated with disease and then the birds eat the fish and then they die too? If this was too, it would be gradual. Because if the fish start to die, they feed somewhere else. All kids of fishies do the same thing. So these immigrant muscles, these zebra muscles infiltrate the waters and then the fish, being stupid fish, they dig and stir up these muscles and they eat them and then they die. Poor fish. Sad fish. And then the birds eat these fish and they don't stop eating them. And then they go to fly in the sky and then just all fall down and die.

A mystical electrical storm confused all of these birds to fly at night, in an electrical storm? Birds don't fly during storms. That's why is gets really quiet before a storm. Birds follow air currents. They move because of the temperature and temperature changes and which way the wind blows. So all of the sudden, birds falling from the sky because they got confused? Really?

And if these lunatic birds decided to go on a night flight, and these particular birds fly during the daytime, then why weren't there massive power outages from power surges?
They got scared and flew into the sky and went crazy and just died from fright because of fireworks? Seriously? And we don't find hundreds or thousands of birds dead on the ground the day after the forth of July because why?

No dead fish. No birds falling from the sky. Not even the same continent. So what's the buzz. Tell me what'sa happening?

Some interesting information. I don't know what the reasons are. But it was near 50 degrees in Chicago the past few days. We haven't had any lasting accumulation of snow. Only a couple of dustings with maybe an inch that evaporated within a couple of days. This is normally the coldest time of the year for us and yet when I was walking my dog a few days ago I saw a front yard with yellow dandelions in full bloom and their seed puff balls all up like it was an early spring day in April.

4.0 Magnitude Ohio Earthquake and Fracking

2012-01-04T09:55:00.000-08:00

When I first heard of the 4.0 earthquake in Ohio I thought, wow, that's pretty unusual. A 4.0 is a pretty good shake. Though I had experienced a 7.0 in California so I had experienced worse. But still, I thought, Ohio. Hum.

And that was about all I thought about it until I read the article I've copied for you. Again, it is a clear example of how we are mucking up this planet that feeds us and gives us life with our ignorance. We are playing at things we don't understand. And the consequences are going to be severe. We are already seeing an unusual wobble to our planet. All my life the currents of wind went from east to west. The Midwest was like a belt around the center. And during the different seasons we would get dips as the planet wobbled and either arctic winds would blow and bring us snow or we would get severe thunderstorms or tornadoes from the clash of hot weather and moderate temperatures that have always been normal for the Midwest.

Now the belt is like a sash over the shoulder of our planet. And it is as cold at night in Florida as it is here. And it is January and we still haven't had much snow. Not even a few inches. Was it the blasts of the Fukushima Nuclear Power Plant explosions? Or the Fracking going on that we know so little about?

The masses may be asses but those with half a brain and all the intelligence a good score can quantify don't know much better. There is no respect for the planet and no thought that what they are thinking of doing so they can make more money, could destroy our planet; our fresh water; our seafood and our crops. We will likely have a drought this coming summer because we haven't had enough snow. The temperature of our earth is actually too warm and the light snow we have gotten a few times hasn't lasted more than a few days.

I read a lot of articles and view YouTube videos of these events. And then the ones that I think provide the most information I am sharing with you.

CLEVELAND (Reuters) - A 4.0 magnitude earthquake in Ohio on New Year's Eve did not occur naturally and may have been caused by high-pressure liquid injection related to oil and gas exploration and production, an expert hired by the state of Ohio said on Tuesday.
Ohio's Department of Natural Resources on Sunday suspended operations at five deep well sites in Youngstown, Ohio, where the injection of water was taking place, while they evaluate seismological data from a rare quake in the area.
The wells are about 9,000 feet deep and are used to dispose of water from oil and gas wells. The process is related to fracking, the controversial injection of chemical-laced water and sand into rock to release oil and gas. Critics say that the high pressure injection of the liquid causes seismic activity.
Won-Young Kim, a research professor of Seismology Geology and Tectonophysics at the Lamont-Doherty Earth Observatory at Columbia University, told Reuters in an interview on Tuesday that circumstantial evidence suggests a link between the earthquake and the high-pressure well activity.
"We know the depth (of the quake on Saturday) is two miles and that is different from a natural earthquake," said Kim, who is advising the state of Ohio.
Data collected from four seismographs set up in November in the area confirm a connection between the quakes and water pressure at the well, Kim said.
"There is circumstantial evidence to connect the two -- in the past we didn't have earthquakes in the area and the proximity in the time and space of the earthquakes matches operations at the well," he said.
A spokesman for Ohio Republican Gov. John Kasich, a strong supporter of oil and gas exploration in the state, said Ohio could announce a preliminary decision whether to continue the suspension of the wells as early as Wednesday.
The state was already looking into the cause of earlier seismic activity from 10 previous earthquakes, beginning in March, 2011.
According to Kim, this is not the first time Ohio tremors have been linked to human activities. "We have several examples of earthquakes from deep well disposal in the past," Kim said.
A quake of 4.2 magnitude in Ashtabula, Ohio, on January 26, 2001, was believed to be due to deep-well injection, he said. And in 1987 there was an incident with a correlation to high pressure deep well injection, he said.
There are 177 so-called "class two" deep wells in Ohio, according to Tom Stewart, executive vice president of Ohio Oil and Gas Association. They all operate under federal guidelines spelled out by the Clean Water Act.
There is no evidence that the wells in Youngstown were operating at higher pressures than allowed, Stewart said.
"We haven't seen anything from anyone at (the state agency) that would lead us to believe that the well was not operating properly," he said.
Kim said that even though the wells have stopped pumping water into the rock, the area might not have experienced its last earthquake. "It could take a couple of years for the earthquakes to go away. The migration of the fluid injected into the rock takes a long time to leave," Kim said.
Ohio's Democratic Senator, Sherrod Brown, said the quick response by the state shows it is a serious issue.
"There are things we need to know about drilling and earthquakes," Brown told Reuters on Tuesday.
Brown said he supports new energy exploration that brings jobs to the state but has questions about how companies will handle fracking and wastewater disposal. "They have got to answer the question of what they are going to do with the waste just like nuclear power," Brown said.
(Editing by Greg McCune and Jim Marshall)

Holiday Season

2011-12-23T16:23:00.000-08:00

What does this Holiday Season mean?

I remember back when people who believed differently would not say, "God bless you." to each other because they thought it would have been some how disloyal to their own religion. It was as if some how it would have been an act of heresy to acknowledge your God would cross over some invisible line and bless them.

After my accident and brain injury I couldn't keep track of days and holidays anymore. And the divine reasons people came up with to try to explain what had happened to me and why; didn't make any sense or make me feel better. Yet, during that time I never felt more connected to whatever it is that moves through it all. Call it God or E=MC2, Tao or "The Force": I have found that "a rose by any other name would smell as sweet." In other words, it is what it is.

We like to have our little formulas that we hope will help us predict outcomes. But life is a changing thing. And what people have believed defines life one year, or one decade or even a thousand years; has all proven to be well, not an absolute truth. We don't know everything. Nobody does. And yet people still try to prove they know it all. As though that was important. It isn't. It's what you do with what you know that makes a difference.

I remember my grandmother used to say, "Give me a person with an ounce of common sense over a person with a PhD any day." I didn't understand this at the time but I listened to her anyway. I remembered her words when I met kind people, honest from the inside out, who lived well. And I met educated people who lived in their own filth and couldn't get out of the way of their own rationalizations to connect with their friends or family. Of course, I have met all kinds of people. Grandma didn't mean all educated people were slobs. But I have come across a few who lived like this, which gave me an insight into what Grandma meant. Soap and water is cheap she used to say. Just give it a little elbow grease and make it shine. Grandma had grown up on a small farm in southern Illinois. She used to say a lot of cool things that have floated up to the surface of the abyss that is now what is left of my memory. And I cherish every phrase that comes back to me in her voice.

This is what I think now. I think every moment is precious. Every moment is an opportunity to show the people we love how much we love them. Every moment is a moment of hope. A moment we can make a change for the better. A moment we can stop wandering through life; distracted by shiny baubles and things that don't last. And a moment we can learn something new. It doesn't have to be an absolute truth to be of value.

It's interesting that the things that really last, beyond memories and accomplishments and possessions, won or earned, are all intangible. Love, compassion, listening, hope... this is the good stuff. Where it originated or if it extends to a galaxy far, far away doesn't matter. It is what we understand in the here and now; what we open our minds to understand with in our hearts, that's what ultimately matters.

Now that's freedom. That's the berries. That's the kind of love that can move mountains. Regardless of personal or religious beliefs: That love and compassion and grace transcends the teachings, rites and traditions that are still being practiced and also those that have been forgotten. And that love and hope and grace is something truly wonderful to share.

Have a great holiday season; loving and sharing your graciousness and compassion with those in your lives and those you meet along the way. Share it freely. Especially, when the storms come. Because will storms come and they will go. But the love you give, that is what really matters.

Genetically Modified Organism or GMOs

2011-12-19T08:47:00.000-08:00

I first became aware of Genetically Modified Organism or genetically modified foods back in the 1990s. We were living out in the country and a large cereal corporation in Battle Creek was going to be using these modified oats and corn in their cereals. And the few people the knew about it at the time, didn't like the idea. I didn't like it either.

I remember the first time I went into a store that sold everything from clothing to household items and I saw a stack of pizzas in an open frozen container and there was a sign on the tippy top and it read, "Now using real cheese." Yeah. Really. I never thought to check in the ingredients for whether or not real cheese was being used on my frozen pizza. So I stopped buying anything with cheese in it or on it that was made in this country. Especially, if I couldn't be sure nothing genetically engineered was being used to make it. And I found out it had infiltrated just about everything. Even rice. Even Wheat. Adding chemical components to natural foods to create a desired affect, like never feeling full. Ingenious for food supplier. Pretty soon everything can be a chemical compound and we will all be completely reliant on these companies to provide our food for us. I mean one day someone said to me I couldn't drink six cans of water in half an hour. And still want to drink more. Why is that? So on the rare occasion I have a beer I drink a Guinness. Because about half way through I have thoroughly enjoyed my beer and I felt satisfied. I don't think I've ever had a full glass. And I get the smaller ones. I get full when I eat a carrot but could eat a sandwich on wheat bread and not feel full. Gradually I have made changes in what I buy and what I eat. And whenever I deviate from this I always feel, physically feel, different. But maybe that's just me.

I don't ever like it when new, unproved things, are pushed on the people and we aren't given a choice about it. One of the head guys made a comment that was something like, the people don't know what these are and they don't care. Well, this caused a ruckus and got way more attention than the processing companies wanted, who were providing this modified food to the cereal company and so the big guy got fired or relocated somewhere else and the noise quieted and everything went back the way it was. And GMO's were slowly introduced into packaged foods and now, on the store shelves or your fresh fruits and veggies and juices. Like it or not.

I got to thinking about this and was glad I was growing my own food. With saved seeds and without any pesticides. My organic pasture provided for livestock in the area, including my own. And my llamas and donkeys provided plenty of fertilizer the old fashioned way. In the fall I spread hay over my garden and used I used it to help slow down the weeds in between the rows in the spring. Low tech and healthy. And as I worked in my garden I used to notice that the insects seemed to be there and then I'd see them leave and others would come. I went to a really interesting communal house that did gardening and trained oxen and made yolks and they were studying the use of these insects and chickens to keep the insect population down and help fertilize their crops.

I began to further realize why the wild quail that lived on my farm were so helpful and necessary. And then I started to think, I wonder if isolating crops goes contrary to nature. I wonder if I grew areas of certain foods without rows and grew other fruits or veggies and flowers would have a positive affect on the birds that would visit and the insect population. And this turned out to be a good thing. When I moved to Illinois I began with making sure my land was free of sprays and chemicals. After seven years I started adding pretty bushes and trees. I liked pruning them and watching them grow. And then I started adding onions and garlic and herbs. This past year is my tenth here and I decided it was time to start planting berries. So I planted a patch of black raspberries and a couple of blueberry bushes; none of which had been genetically engineered. One of the blueberry bushes didn't make it. But everything else thrived. It got some kind of bug all over it and I didn't want it to spread and didn't know what else to do and it was already dying by the time I noticed it. So I pulled it and got it away from my healthy plants.

Then I found out more about GMO's and seeds and I found out about this great resource.
Here is the link:
Heirloom Organic Seeds

This year I'm planting beans, all kinds of beans, all along my raw wood fence. And I'm going to plant some grapes and tomatoes (from my own heirloom seeds) out front. My goal is to have a front and back yard that looks like a naturally varied source of food.

Through the years of watching my plants, the food, where they were growing best and when to plant them I learned something. Plants are a carrier of bug business, some times its waste and some times its new little bugs in a kind of clear looking goo. The relationship between the two is absolutely symbiotic. I started thinking maybe I was on the right track with random growing. And seeing what grew well together and that maybe this would also keep the insects there but not so much that they took over the garden and ate all of the food it produced. And you know what? Without knowing which bugs went where, between the birds and other bugs, I had healthy plants and lots of happy birds.

And then it occurred to me that just as with mother's milk, all of the healthy germ and disease fighting stuff we had taken a life time to develop in our own bodies and was passed along to our babies, well, just maybe we needed these bugs in our gardens to do the same thing for us. There are lots of people in this country who have all kinds of immune deficiencies and ailments. Maybe from looking at plant life through the lens of a lab, all separated and sterile, we are causing harm, not only to the plants and insect life, but to ourselves as well.

I decided to see what others were saying about GMO's and I was SHOCKED to see what is going on today. These are some very good videos that will help to inform you. There is a reason why other countries do not want crops from our country. There is a reason why so many people in this country look like cows. Everything is corn fed. I mean everything. Shrimp. Beef. Pork. Chickens. And it makes its way into our cows milk too. And it isn't just corn, its also soy and all kinds of other foods. Monsanto is a huge company that has been working on this for years.

In order to make better decisions we need to know more. One thing we can do is write our congressmen and make sure that all of our food that has been genetically modified has a clear label saying its ingredients contain GMO's in them. But another way is to make sure we get good seed and we don't pollute the land we are lucky enough to live on, even if it is a small bit. And we can grow our own food. Even if it's just herbs in the beginning or one tomato plant or one berry bush. It is a start. And good starts grow into trends. And maybe farmers will find they do better when they use good seed and dry a portion of the seeds from their crops themselves so they can ensure their seeds are not polluted by GMO's. Empowerment is more about the choices we make to take steps toward making our lives, the lives around us and the earth a better place.

It's like this, I was raised to look in a room when you enter it. And make sure it looks the same or better when you leave it. So if you bring a glass in the room with something to drink in it, when you leave the room, pick up the glass and clean it in the sink. When I lived in a communally, years ago, this basic principal worked. We all cleaned up after ourselves and nobody had to tell us what to do. And by doing the right thing ourselves, we all lived well together. I miss those days.

I've seen documentaries and heard tales of farmers getting bullied into buying genetically modified seed and pesticides and how feeding the crops that grew from these seeds has had an effect on the infertility of their livestock. I've seen a documentary about how six months after a farmer stopped using these seeds and corn and soy, their pigs went back to producing young the old fashioned way.

Silk Soymilk Labeling
GMO FREE Food Brands
Informative Site and Monsanto Documentary

Wherever you live, you have the power to make it better. You have the power to take care of it. So many people choose to be lazy. Oh they are whirring around, texting and using smart phones. While they buy processed foods, filled with GMO's or eat out so they don't have to cook and clean up after themselves. But what they are missing is that when you buy it fresh, it tastes better and you actually feel full. And in the long run it is way cheaper to eat less and put good healthy food in your body than the alternative, which leads to all kinds of nasty diseases and cancer. And your kitchen smells good when you cook something yummy in it. And you get to anticipate how it will taste. Power to the people is a nice catch phrase, but it requires involvement, personal involvement in the choices we make too. I'm not tellin, I'm just sayin. You don't have to change everything in one day. But little by little it is amazing how much you can accomplish in a year's time. If you want your grocery store to carry organic foods ask them to carry more. If you can't get them, start growing your own. If you don't have a yard use a ceramic container (not plastic - that's another story) and string and sticks and make your own garden.

When you go to the store you can figure out for yourself whether or not the food you want to buy has been genetically modified.

How? Every product has a paper label with a PLU code number. For produce that is regularly grown it is a four digit number. But Organic and GMO's have an extra number in front.
If the PLU starts with an 8, it's a GMO.
If the PLU starts with a 9, it's Organic
So remember, if you like:
8 Ain’t Great
9 Is Fine
The government may not require the FDA to specifically label our food when it has been or contains food products that are Genetically Modified Organisms. But we can read the difference between 8 and 9. 9 Is Fine Now you are empowered. Do what you want to do.

Judy Garland - Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas

2011-12-17T18:42:00.000-08:00

This is an original recording of my favorite version of,"Have yourself a merry little Christmas," sung by Judy Garland.

It still brings a tear to my eye when I hear it.

Princess Mononoke

2011-12-17T10:31:00.000-08:00

The animation of this anime was amazing. I loved the way nature moved, so naturally. The artist quality of this film was fantastic.

I have seen it a couple of times and this last time I started getting it on a few different levels. This is a movie I will enjoy revisiting and thinking about.

It's way cool.

Larry Crowne

2011-12-17T10:28:00.000-08:00

I just watched the movie, "Larry Crowne," starring Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts. The other characters in the film were genuine and added to this multi-dimensional story.

I liked it. It was a movie about the times we are living in and the people we meet through the changes we face along the way. It introduced us to all kinds of relationships with all kinds of people. And as the story unfolded it showed how life opens up, even during difficult times, when we open up to change.

Yeah, I liked it.

The Music Never Stopped

2011-12-17T10:17:00.000-08:00

I watched a movie entitled, "The Music Never Stopped." It was a really interesting film based on an essay that Dr. Oliver Sacks wrote about a patient who was reached by a certain area in his brain through the music that he loved, after he had a brain tumor removed.

What I enjoyed the way the movie explored different relationships surrounding this case and how they evolved. Yes, it was cool to see a film that showed how love and understanding can become stagnant and then how it can come to life again.

This isn't a fancy movie. But it is interesting and it has a lot to say.

Oh, and I watched a movie recently called, "Away From Her."
I highly recommend it.

The Avett Brothers

2011-12-16T14:17:00.000-08:00

Man, I just found out about these guys. They are too good to keep to myself. Enjoy.

Marriage?

2011-12-15T14:31:00.000-08:00

I think the recent stats on people not being all that keen on marriage is a direct reflection of how, when given the choice, women would rather be treated as an equal partner and with respect than sacrifice who they are at the feet of someone who thinks they can abuse them or cheat on them and then leave them alone in their old age in poverty. I mean why bother to stay at home and raise the children if you won't wind up with any security and memories to share with the person you think you are going to spend the rest of your life with?

These days 51% of men in this country are not married. In the last generation 76% of the male population were married. These days 81% of women prefer not to marry. And those that are getting married are marrying much later. Women around 26 and men around 28.

It seems that women are doing pretty good. They are working and raising the kids and are more apt to keep their promises and live honorably. Most of them stay and pick up the pieces after a family has been broken a part. Granted, there are lots that are selfish and materialistic and don't have a clue about the consequences to their actions. This is demonstrated by how many of them still breed like the resources on this planet are endless. And many still watch TV and only talk with their kids when they are telling them what to do. But there are lots more that are doing a really good job raising their children and living responsibly.

We see horrible things happening in the news regarding domestic violence. I think many women have figured why settle with someone who might be or become a lunatic and try to kill you if you decide this isn't the person you want to spend the rest of your life with? Why entangle yourself financially and legally to someone who might become unstable? These are all good questions to consider when choosing your life path, no doubt.

I think the reason why a lot of people aren't marrying as young has as much to do with our financial situation as any gender issues. When parents took out second mortgages on their homes to pay for college education for their kids and then the companies they worked for "downsized" and took all of their investments with them when they filed for bankruptcy these people were left out in the cold. Their one sure investment, their homes, that they had staked everything on, were taken back by the banks. And close to 75% of those foreclosures happened after a family member got sick and went into debt trying to save their loved one. About half of those people were insured at the time. Now we have new legislation that prohibits insurance companies from promising to insure their clients only to find reasons to cancel their insurance. And now we have a national health care program that will help all of us have equal access to health care. So that's all good. Thank you President Obama. But seeing these things happen to their families had to have a devastation affect on the children that are now at that starting their own life and marry age.
health care and foreclosures
You figure one college education could go anywhere from $40-100,000 and then multiply that by two and these kids don't ever see a way past it. Not to mention ever being able to afford to buy a home and then why bother anyway when banks can change your credit rating and the government can change what your house is worth and still raise taxes so high that you can't afford to live in it or sell it either. I mean, why bother with all of this crap?

The good part of all of this is that I think people are having relationships and getting to know who they are and figuring out what they want to do before they make a lifetime commitment to someone they may not have much in common with in two years. Bravo young people for being a hell of a lot smarter than many of us were.

All that being said, every parent out there who can't help you to change this wishes with every fiber in their body that they could. Heartbreak. They never figured on the greed of that top 1%. No-one could.

Still, even with all of the trials and tribulations, pitfalls and mountains to climb, it all boils down to the love and compassion we share with one another. It really does. The rest is just window dressing.

Maybe the men of our next generation will be more responsible and more honorable. Even though a lot of their fathers abandoned their families or chose to be alcoholics or they ruined their families with selfishness and violence. I think some of the young men of this generation also saw the destruction and pain that was left in the wake of their father's irresponsible behaviors. And maybe that is just as much a part of the reason men aren't choosing to marry as the reason many claim, that they are unable to keep a commitment. Maybe because their fathers didn't set good examples they don't know how and maybe they are also afraid to try because they don't want to cause pain to their families too.

Now if more people would just take birth control more seriously, all over the freakin' world and they started waiting to have children and made a baby with someone they actually wanted to share their lives with, we really might be a whole lot better off in the future. This is something I think a lot of our young people, especially ones who are waiting to marry, are taking seriously. And that is very, very good.

Pipelines Power Plants Catastrophes and our Planet

2011-12-13T14:17:00.000-08:00

Let the Greatest Show on Earth enter
Please
Take your seats
Sit back and watch this....

(For some reason this is uploading slowly on my computer but give it a few seconds and some good videos will follow.)

Republicans using scare tactics and threatening that Social Security is going to end blah, blah, blah; is nothing new. We've heard it all before. But for some reason this time we are supposed to be even more stupider and believe that all of the reasons why we should pay for this oil pipeline out of our tax dollars, are for our own benefit. Because well, the Great Oz knows what's best for us. Yeah, we are supposed to believe it when we are promised that thousands of jobs will be generated, even though in actuality these positions are mostly going to be temporary construction jobs. And oh, did they forget to mention that the oil pipeline will be privately owned? So that means we won't get reimbursed for building the pipeline. Well, unless you believe that they are going to actually pay their fair share of their taxes. Cough Cough.

Yeah, what we need to do is fund a project that will potentially cause catastrophic contamination of our soil and water. We can't indefinitely control the temperature, land mass and moisture (remember the Tsunami in Japan this year). So these guys want us to pay for their ability to make a ton of money on the backs of people who are desperate to work while putting themselves in an even greater position to take more advantage of us by being the only source for oil and gas in this country? Yep, and we should trust that they are going to do the right thing and not plunge our country into economic chaos because why? Because they haven't done that up until now? Really? These utility and oil and gas conglomerates have been putting the screws to business growth and individual spending in this country for decades. So let's step back for just a minute.

Instead of passing a bill taxing billionaires, of which a lot of these same guys are, billionaires; well, these same guys, of which the Republicans are speaking for, want us tax payers to make a deal where we get to pay for this pipeline to be built anyway? On accounta we are so bright? Right?

And the potential for an environmental catastrophe we would be letting ourselves in for by building this massive oil pipeline that will branch out all over the United States, from Canada to Mexico? Well, it is a disaster waiting to happen. Using tar sands and strip mining practices to get oil out of the ground is dirty business. Real dirty. Yet, this major issue is barely a bleep in the news? Why?

Once again, forget about the words and reasons, if you want to figure out which side of the coin the Republican party stands. Look at what they support. They want to abolish the EPA, the Environmental Protection Agency. Which is the last independent voice we have that can let us know if we are suffering side effects or death because of the pollution huge corporations inflict on our planet and us, every year. And the Republicans have been consistently trying to prevent a national health care program. Why? Taxes, really? They don't hesitate to ask for this oil pipeline project to be paid for with taxes. So why work so hard to stop regular folks, who can now only get part-time jobs, from having access to basic health care? Because if there isn't a national health care program then we can't determine health or illness trends. We won't be able to tie together certain appearances of cancers with being down wind of polluters. Or with drinking contaminated water from something like, I don't know, fracking?

Wake up!!! Everybody!!! It doesn't matter what party you say you support. What matters is that if both parties don't seriously come out and talk about the really serious issues we need to face, then nothing is ever going to change. Big money only wants to make more money. And big crooks only wants to figure out more clever ways to steal it and stash it. They'll lie and smile or cry and look their constituents in the eye and lie some more to keep us stupid and to keep us from having a say in the way we want our tax dollars to be spent.

But your golden ticket is your right to vote. Or not vote. And I encourage everyone to vote and if the representative you want isn't up for election than don't vote for anybody.

Look we can kick the dirt and look the other way but the truth is we need to make our planet and the way we live on it a priority. We need to work way harder on developing more solar and wind power sources for energy and we need to have better mass transit that also uses alternative sources of fuel to run them. Throwing bad money after bad investments that pollute and don't do anything to break our dependency on oil and gas are only going to leave us in a worse state than we are in right now. We need to help each other find ways to provide for our own energy so we are not dependent on any huge company for our well being anymore. We need to stop polluting. We are breathing in toxic gas with every breath we breathe already.
Check out these recent disasters caused by oil, gas and nuclear power plants.

We can't ensure these pipelines are going to be safe because the earth changes. It moves. And with seasonal changes and moisture and temperature changes comes instability. The earth will move and pipelines will rupture and leaks will occur and explosions will happen without warning. And that you an take to the bank.

Gas Pipeline Leak and Explosion in North Texas

Gas Leak Explosion in Philedelphia

And Nuclear Power Plants

The average life of a nuclear power plant is seventy years. They are expensive to build and to maintain. But we have to keep the spent fuel cool for 10-20,000 years. It isn't efficient in and it isn't safe on any level in the long run.

Whether nuclear bombs are set off during a time of war or nuclear accidents are caused by a natural disaster like the Tsunami in Japan in 2011 or whether they are caused when a nuclear plant is shut down because of ignorance; the effect is the same; massive destruction and radioactive pollution. We are destroying the planet we rely on to live and breathe and drink water from and water our crops from. How does that make any sense?

It doesn't matter why people justify their reckless, irresponsible greed anymore. It doesn't matter what a political party says anymore. We all need to pull together to stop from causing any more harm to our environment. Because if we don't all of nature and all of us will suffer. And it won't matter then, what political party you voted for. Because it will be too late.

It's Nature's Way

I remember seeing blue skies across this country when I traveled all over it during the early seventies. And I remember coming back to the mid-west and there was a reddish tinge to the sky and it reached far beyond the cities out into the plains. And then I remember driving back across the country in the late eighties and it was everywhere.

It takes three days for the air and all of its pollutants, including radiation, to span the planet. It doesn't go away. It changes the air, water and soil. The plants drink up the polluted water with its roots. The rain and snow dump it from the sky back to earth. The wind blows it all over the ground and water and in the air. And this affects all life on earth.

We can pretend it doesn't matter. We can pretend what is going on in D.C. isn't happening and that the representatives there that are pushing the oil and gas pipeline agendas as a means of saving our economy are really looking out for our planet and our pocket books.

But we bear the responsibility for being ignorant and for turning the other way and just buying into the conversation that keeps us polarized as a nation.

Does it make any sense at all to destroy the planet we rely on for our survival? On what planet would this make any sense? Maybe that answer is in the question.

Timex Watch

2011-12-11T14:26:00.000-08:00

I am so happy with my old Timex watch. I got it on ebay for about $8.00 including shipping and it runs perfectly. The best part about it is I can read it and the tick is steady and strong. I got so I couldn't afford the batteries for a new watch every year. And my old band had broken. So I thought, Timex, it takes a licking and keeps on ticking, right? Well it's true!!! This watch is over fifty years old. Man oh man. I'm loving it!!

Skull Painting

2011-12-10T20:46:00.000-08:00

Some one I love very much asked me to paint a skull. You know, the way you do.

So here is a skull, you know, the way I do. It's a watercolor gouache.

December Poems 2011

2011-12-10T12:25:00.000-08:00

December Poems by Jenn Weinshenker 12/08/2011

Through a Glass Dimly

We may live in troubled times
But this is nothing new

People have always taken more than they need
And kept to themselves,
The best of part of what they had to offer
Their hearts

We have all done this
Afraid to
Simply take responsibility for
What we thought and how we lived

Disappointments
Financial hardship and
Challenges of all kinds
Weave through our days
Like some kind of carpet
Shaken and cleaned in the midst of a hurricane
That's life

But what has been the very best part
Of all of it
For me
Has been loving people and then
One day finding out that the people I've loved
Have actually loved me back
Who knew?

I'm so glad in the unpredictable
Every changing mist and ice
We didn't miss each other

It’s Rarer Still

It’s always so rare and lovely
To see graciousness
A little goes such a long way

When we are engaged with
The beauty of life
All of this stuff
Doesn’t mean so much
And that appreciation dealeo?
It’s turned out to be the berries

Friends

Life some times
Is rocky
And then some times
We can hop on
And enjoy the slide

It’s funny isn’t it
How the more we let go
Of the things that continue to
obscure our view
The more we wind up
Appreciating what we see
Clearly

Friends who knows this and
Share this with one another
Are rarer still

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Barn Owls

I heard a barn owl in the Hickory tree.
Or maybe it was in the Elm.
I'm not sure.
But there it was anyhow
Hooting its late night call.

We used to have huge barn owls
That lived in an old abandoned barn across the road.
I loved hearing them in the wee hours.
Watching them suddenly appearing through the shadows,
swooping and
disappearing again into the wood.

Someone told me they were an omen of death.

But I have heard them whoo whooo many times
And nobody dropped dead the next day.
Not even me.

A Dead Crow

Coco and I went to our favorite park today.
We were alone there to wander the trails
In a lovely harmony

Coco is learning how to search on command
To show me
And then to take me to what she sees
To go check it out

She usually sees a black plastic bag
fluttering up against a fence
But today she saw a black form in the distance
And it turned out to be a crow
One in a family of crows I caw to whenever we are walking nearby

I told her to leave it and she did
I took a closer look and yes
It was intact and
Quietly dead

I wondered whose mother or father it was
Was it a brother
Was it a sister
And where were the rest of the crows
Why weren't they there
Watching me there
By their dearly beloved

As Coco and I made our way back to the car
We saw there in the field
The family of crows
Strolling on the ground
Tightly knit
With heads bowed
As though they were looking for something
Lost

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Where'd the money go?

2011-12-09T08:35:00.000-08:00

Huge sums of money are being lost. The money is just disappearing. So I keep wondering, "Where is all of the money going?" There must be wire transfer records, something, somewhere. There is no way billions of dollars disappear in this country and Europe and Greece and Japan and Argentina without a trace. I don't know where it all went. But there are people who program the computers and there are transfer records when transactions are made.

Anyone who has a checking account and has transferred money or who has had an IRA or had some stocks and decides to sell them knows that there are records that shows exactly where the money goes. There can't be that many people that have access to these accounts who could move this kind of money around. Where are the leaders of these countries and why don't they have their top investigators and financial people giving them the answers? And why aren't they getting these answers? I bet my bank would know exactly where the money went if it was leaving my account! And I bet I'd know it if I transferred money into another account if it got there. So how stupid do the heads of these countries have to be to accept, "Uh, I don't know where the money went?" Somebody or a few somebodies are having one arrogant laugh at the havoc they've caused. While everyone is paying for it and losing homes and farms and businesses and countries are teetering on bankruptcy, somebody is thinking this is pretty funny.

And what is the purpose? I mean how much money does anyone really need? This is beyond greed. It seems that the purpose of all of this is to cause chaos and financial ruin. Because that is the result. That surely is the fruit of the tree. So why?

Information about Jon Corzine's handling of MF investors money in November, 2011.

The misuse of customer funds is unraveling in December, 2011.

Or they could give all future proceeds from these risky investments back to the people they stole the money from instead of trying to fear-force their customers into settling for a mere 25-65% portion of their initial investment. These accounts were not supposed to be used to borrow against. They were supposed to be guaranteed accounts that the banks or investment companies could not take and invest for their own profit. This was supposed to be money that was secured and set aside for that rainy day, which if you are a farmer or you own your own business or you are managing a retirement fund or a pension fund, is a must. That way when times are good the money stays put and when you need it you can withdraw it. This money in these personal accounts was not supposed to be used to cover bets on how the market in other countries was going to do. This is yet another example of money that was literally made in America, being siphoned off and redistributed to where? Nobody knows.

Banks and investment brokerage companies have become predatorial. There used to be regulations that prevented people from having this kind of access to their investor's money. There were rules that said, if a company says they won't borrow your money to invest in their own ventures, it would be considered criminal and embezzlement.

These rules and regulations were intended to protect the individual investor from investment brokers who might forget that the money they were recklessly handling wasn't their own.

Wasn't this what caused our financial downfall in the first place? This lack of accountability has tumbled through the economies in other countries as well. To bet against how much money other countries would have access to in bailouts is just so creepy.

Since there are apparently a whole lot of people who get an adrenaline rush out of this risky business and who have even less accountability when the chips don't just fall, they crash and burn; maybe it's time to keep smaller amounts in savings accounts and more of our savings in a safety deposit box! At least then you have control over who has access to your money.

This is all such a mess. It's like a shell game. Only the people getting hurt are losing homes, farms, businesses and their retirement funds and pensions. So really, where's the money going? It's going somewhere. People who play fast and lose with money like this also make sure to take care of themselves. They are at the top of the, "I'm gonna get my share," list. So where are they stashing it? Who are they talking with days before the money disappears? How hard can it be to track where the money is going?

If chaos was the aim, well, somebody has hit the target! Now it is up to the people who can sort this out to do their jobs. And if they can't or won't - they need to get fired.

United Way Fundraising Kick Off in Chicago December, 2011

2011-12-06T17:30:00.000-08:00

Coco and I were part of the United Way Fundraising Kick Off in Chicago. Mary Beth brought my daughter Rebekah and Coco and me to this event. We had a wonderful time and met some lovely people there.

Trunks and Limbs

2011-12-03T09:53:00.000-08:00

Well, I am finally happy, very happy with the tree trunks and limbs. Lots more to go but this phase is all set. There is a lot more orange and all sorts of colors in them but I don't have time to get the lighting right today.

It's feeling good. I so love it when that happens.

This Bird Digs Ray Charles

2011-12-02T16:31:00.000-08:00

This bird digs Ray Charles.

There is always a lot of serious work to be done. But every now and then we gots to take a little break and just dance.

Senate Declares USA Battleground - Syria Violence Against Protesters

2011-12-02T13:49:00.000-08:00

Politicians refer to the USA as the greatest county on earth. It is such an ignorant, arrogant, narrow minded perspective that it is embarrassing to hear it when one of our "leaders" says it. We may have had moments of greatness but the greatest on earth? The earth is a really, really big place. And there are a whole lotta people who live on it in all kinds of countries that also have moments on greatness in their histories.

A Bill was introduced and passed during the wee hours you ought to know about. It declares the entire USA a national battleground and gives the military the right to arrest, innocent or guilty indefinitely or shoot at USA citizens on American soil.

Check out these links.

Senate Declares Entire USA Battleground

Bill Information - A Must Read

Government Killing Peaceful Syrian Protesters December 6, 2011 - Link to excellent CBS Report and live video.

This is just one more compelling reason why once again history and current events prove that the police and "Government Security Forces," should never be allowed to fire on its own people. If the people are not being represented and they want those who are taking advantage of them to, "Leave," - It's time to go. Firing on unarmed civilians is always wrong. Governments change, they need to change along with the people or they become obsolete. The ones who have secret deals and are ripping people off always seem to think they can get away with it one more day. But they always pay the price. Over 4,000 people have been killed. This is so wrong.

The only reason this doesn't happen here is because we have laws that have up until now, protected us from allowing those in power, especially armed, being allowed to intimidate the citizens of our country into submission. We are guaranteed the right to peaceably assemble and to voice our opinions and to not agree with our government and the people that are supposed to be representing us.

99% of the people here have been screwed by the system. Whether it has been due to sweetheart deals, backroom shenanigans that have allowed industries to pollute our air, ground and water or whether it is because insurance companies were allowed to take our money and then rescind their coverage when our loved ones got sick or whether our pensions suddenly disappeared from the stock market; there probably truly is only 1% of this country that hasn't suffered because of the lies and "not doing the right thing" these politicians have done. And we all know it, that is unless your only news source is FOX.

The republicans have using fear tactics and intimidation and using all of their power to either screw with our votes or take away our civil rights or to stop our financial growth so that President Obama doesn't get any credit for all of the hard work he has been doing. And I don't fault them. Because it is the everyday, regular people who have voted these people into office. Too many people have gotten lazy and have not been paying attention to what is going on. Watch CSPAN.org Open your eyes. Or don't. If you don't insist on intelligent, honest, hard working representatives in the government then you won't have them. Listening to a few buzz words and voting in those who hide behind one or two extremist issues so they can get voted into office and then cow tow to the powers that be, creating an environment where corruption and intimidation continues to grow, is on all of us for not being better citizens.

We all have our own bit of responsibility to take. Some people were wasteful and unwise in the way they spent their money. Some didn't take the initiative to walk their kids to school and pick them up afterwards. Some stood by and watched as their neighborhoods change for the worse. And tons of lazy parents let their kids run wild and didn't make sure they were home after school, with the TV turned off, working on their homework. Every body has their bit to pick up and change. To sit back and point our fingers at government officials doesn't change anything. And it isn't a true depiction of exactly who is responsible for the disfunctional government we are left with either because guess what - we are all responsible.

Look, right now I'm not too keen on some of the democrats in Chicago who have supported the whole parking fiasco. Using high rates to park and huge costly tickets to generate income isn't even penny wise and pound foolish - it's plain old fashioned bad economics. Guess what, you'd do better cutting taxes and encouraging people to spend their money in Chicago having a good time and enjoying the culture here. That way they might actually want to - oh I don't know - come back! And casinos to create jobs? Really? We need to create solar and wind power industries in this part of the country - NOW. Industries the people can work at to support their families on. Industries that don't mess up our planet and that will help us become more independent from the utility and oil mega-conglomerates that think they own this country. And maybe they do.

So here is just an idea, if no-one in your party represents you don't vote for any of them. Write someone in you think is honest. Don't just vote for somebody who knows where the church front door is. Anybody can walk into a church. Anybody can walk into a house of worship. That doesn't mean they are an honest, hard working person. So stop it. Just because somebody makes money that doesn't make them smart or compassionate or a responsible person who is going to think about the needs of ALL of their constituents above their own and more importantly above their own party agenda. We find this to be true with democrats and republicans. We need representatives that are willing to work hard to try to get things done that are going to be beneficial for everybody. Get over the flashy car syndrome and think for yourself. And yeah, it might give you a headache. But at least you'll be awake.

This is what freedom is all about. This is what we are taking for granted. In other countries that having been paying a very high price for it, they can't say what they think about their officials. They can't vote for who they want to represent them. They are intimidated into going along. Only people can't go along forever. That is also something we have learned in history over and over again.

So pick up the pace and regardless of party preference; send an email or write to your representative and tell them you don't want any version of any bill passed that gives the police or the military or any other governmental "security force," the right to detain without representation, indefinitely or to shoot American citizens in the USA. You want to be a patriot? Try doing that. Because no matter what opinions we have or what party we vote for that is at the core of what makes America and its people great.

Everyone Screwed by System Join Occupy

2011-12-02T07:33:00.000-08:00

I know. And when you are a first time buyer and you don't know any better you trust what you think are reliable people to advice you, like the loan company or the real estate agent. I remember when we were buying our first place, a lovely condo in California, and the Realtor was really pushing us to spend to the limit what we could get a loan for because real estate always goes up. We had grandparents who gave us great advice and we took it.

Real estate goes up and down and when it goes down it is because the economy goes down. So you want to save and put a good sized down payment on your house and then spend way less than what you can afford. Pay it off, you'll have other expenses later on, like college for your kids. People were in such hock for their mortgages that when college time came around they took out second mortgages to pay for their kids' education and then they got laid off due to "out sourcing" and "down sizing." It was all BS.

I know people who have had buyers for their short sale houses and the banks didn't get back with them after months of trying to get their place sold. And even when the buyer had the money. Between the banks and the insurance companies the decks were loaded from the get go. The number one reason for foreclosures has been due to medical expenses when a loved one got cancer or some other critical disease. I know people who were "let go," when a loved one got cancer and they lost everything because of the loss of insurance and then miraculously after the person died, the other person got called and got their job back. Lots of regular, everyday people have gotten screwed by the huge corporations that have owned the republican party. Not that there haven't been democrats that have voted their way too, there have been. That is why it is so important that everyone who has been screwed by all of these destructive policies get out there and join the Occupy Wall Street folks. The American people have gotten screwed and then blamed for this mess. It's disgusting. And the 99% are sick of it.

Here's an informative link.

Bombino

2011-11-30T21:00:00.000-08:00

Bombino, I may not know what the words mean but I can feel your seeking soul and the peace you are finding on your journey and I'm diggin' the way you are sharing it.

Starting Out In The Evening

2011-11-30T20:48:00.000-08:00

Just when I thought the best days of North American film had come and gone I watched, "Starting Out In The Evening."

This film was wonderfully engaging. All of its characters were true. They were not at all the typical in your face actors that are so filled with their own ego it gets in the way of the character they are portraying. Subsequently, diminishing the story they are sharing with their audience.

Frank Langella, how many times must he have heard, you aren't leading man material? He always played strong supporting roles and he is surely an excellent actor. But taking the lead like this? His performance was absolutely masterful. He was Leonard Schiller. Bravo! His performance was subtle and understated and genuine. His relationships never felt insincere. There were no lapses between the consciousness he was creating and the one he was so generously sharing with his co-stars.

Lili Taylor has a delightful personality but I always felt it got in the way of the character she was portraying. She was too eager. Not willing to allow her self to disappear. Needing to act just right, straight into the camera, as though that was where her need for approval would be satisfied. At least that was the way I felt when I watched her perform before. But in this film she did the damn thing. She was gentle and authentic. There wasn't one minute when I was distracted from who she was in this movie by who she was as an actor. Lili was another delightful surprise in ,"Starting Out In The Evening." Well done.

Lauren Ambrose could have very easily been an ambitious cliche but she wasn't. She was complex, deliciously east coat real and she did her character with the ease of a master's brush. How lovely. And so young.

Adrian Lester gave a quietly charming and multi-dimensional performance that was never for a second disingenuous. He was a man without being macho and he was a thinking man without being a wuss. That's rare these days. I loved the way his character began on the periphery and then came into focus as he became more engaged with the other characters in this film.

All this being said, the stellar performances of all of these actors must be in some part due to the director, Andrew Wagner, who also co-wrote the screen play, along with Fred Parnes. I so enjoyed being taken away, into a world that was honest and layered with life's experiences and heart. It was yummy. You didn't take the short cut and tell me what was happening. You created a lovely venue for the story of these characters to unfold. I felt like I was experiencing, right along with them, what was going on in their lives. There is so little patience and attention to skillful writing these days. And directors that give the actor the guidance and space to not "tell us" everything. We go right along with these actors as they are thinking about life or what they are going to do or not do next.

Just when I thought good writing and good material and insightful direction had become a sacrifice to the big picture, bottom line crap I've seen in North American films, this lovely gem appears on the shelf at my library and my faith in our ability to share a good story has been restored. Oh, and the soundtrack as the movie closes is enchanting too. All the way around and through this movie was aces.

On a personal note, I often feel like I've cheated death when I've finished a piece. I feel like popping a bottle of champagne and making a declarative toast in my living room, "Aha!! I finished another one before you got me!" I'm motivated to write and paint something true. Whether it is ever read or recognized by anyone else is irrelevant. To reveal this in the Leonard Schiller character was so cool. I've seen writers portrayed as drinkers and thinkers but dedicated to their work, regardless of what others think about it? Being willing to reveal themselves through their work, even when it is unintentional? Well, that was just the berries. And definitely invigorating.

The Wind Journeys

2011-11-30T18:33:00.000-08:00

I watched, "The Wind Journeys,"and was struck first by the brilliant cinematography.
the remote vistas in South America
the miles and miles of a journey
its characters passed through
and the humanity that was found
in the most unforeseen place imaginable
kept me riveted

the story of, "The Wind Journeys,"
wasn't linear or formulaic, it was
oblique

I have been a traveler
and have felt comfortable
most of the time
in my solitary life
and along the way I've met quite a few
intriguing strangers
so I could relate with the broad strokes
and subtle introspection
this film portrayed with ease

every step of this journey
on hooves and feet
until their destiny was realized
in the purpose
that had long been over
looked
was way cool

it wasn't fancy
but it was undeniably real

qualities sorely lacking in North American film

story telling
has become
a lost art
here anyway

most of the contemporary
North American films I've seen lately
have a genre
a stylized version of life
that is whiny
filled with
frame by framed
closeups
and closedins
that couldn't get out of their own way
let alone find it
if their miserable
awkward lives depended on it

I have a hard time sitting through the hours
of poor me
I'm the disastrous compilation
of a life unlived
woe alas yawn
all I can say is
shit or get off the pot

I was in my early teens when I realized
thank you Grandma
that if life isn't happening around you
you be happening
if the people you know aren't going anywhere
you go somewhere
go to a library and read a book
talk with people you have nothing in common with
listen to music from another land
try something new
travel

early on I understood that being engaged in my own life
meant opening up to the possibilities
that maybe my little insignificant life
was connected by and through all of the energy
that moved by and through
all of the rest of it

with a brain injury
without money
with loads of work
done
and undone
and kids
and livestock
and more forgotten
than could ever be remembered
my life has been interesting
and certainly never dull
though there was plenty of reason
to cry in my soup
and some times I gut-sobbed
to be sure
yet
life has been filled with more joy
than sorrow
and it is for this reason
that I don't have much patience
for maudlin myopic self-reflections
by people who squawk like wanton children
whose only awareness is
I want I want
and I can't get what I want
you get it for me
at some point
it is a good idea to figure out
how to stand up and take care of yourself
and maybe just maybe
open your eyes to the world around you

and that is what this movie
"The Wind Journeys"
was about
pure and simply put

One Wonderful Sunday

2011-11-29T09:37:00.000-08:00

I watched the movie, directed by Akira Kurosawa and released back in 1947. I had no idea what the movie was going to be about. The story was about a young couple with nothing but their dreams to hold onto. It was compelling. It could be shown today and be just as relevant. There were times when, by today's standards, the story seemed to be slow. However, the artistry in the imagery and the pace of the movie was completely in line with what the characters and the viewer was feeling as the story was revealed.

I have gone through hard times for decades. Being an artist and writer and having a brain injury, it seems that if I wanted to focus on the obstacles in my life, I wouldn't have written a book or finished one painting. Often through those times I would dream of how life would be if my writings were published or my artwork was seen. What would happen if I actually sold my work and could make a difference? But mulling over those thoughts would only lead me to a sense of hopelessness and despair. Instead I choose to share my dreams with my children. Telling them fun stories about something I saw online or in a store and how I went shopping for them today without any money. Or I might say what I would do if... I always told my children don't be afraid to dream big. Your dreams are free. And the ones you really want to have happen? You are going to need to work hard and you are going to need to take steps toward making those dreams a reality. I found the decisions I made based on necessity or a lack of courage took me further from the life I needed to realize and the decisions I made that were consistent with who I was and wear my talents were going to be utilized turned out to be the best decisions.

And all three of my grown children have found these truths to work for them too. And they are now living lives that they are truly engaged in. It is difficult for creative people to find a niche because usually we have to create our own careers. To see my children finding fulfillment in their lives is fantastic. Money comes and goes. Learning how to live below your means so you can save a little and make wise decisions is the ticket. Investing in your own future is certainly the best way to go. And anyone who doesn't know what it is like to earn a living... well, don't trust them with your money, your retirement or your future. Make your own decisions about all of that.

Whether you have millions or you are living below the poverty level, if you are always over extending and you don't budget yourself based on what you have, you are going to be chasing your tail or you are going to be vulnerable to people who will use you and take what you have.

That's the way it is.

I remember seeing young people who didn't have much money going out to eat all of the time. They may have been getting fast food or going to places that had a special that night but they were still going out to eat all of the time. And I thought, this was so wasteful and lazy. As time past my grown kids, on their own were, realized how much money they were wasting in this way too. I made them recipe books and taught them how to make healthy soups and cook things from scratch. I gave them soup pots and seasonings and they wound up realizing how much better the food they made at home tasted. And soon they started taking more of an interest in what they were eating and drinking and they started making really healthy choices.

I used to say, back when we had the farm, after I'd made a delicious soup and we were all sitting down for dinner, people would pay a lot of money to eat as good as we do. Being able to harvest fresh fruits and vegetables and cook healthy food without preservatives was golden. And when we'd sit around and talk and laugh, again I'd tell them how lucky we were to have each other. Because we could be real with each other and laugh together. Some times we laughed about how ridiculous life was. And some times we'd laugh about how ridiculous we were. But we didn't miss a day. Whether we were going through a rough time or whether we were seeing the beauty in the moment, we were experienced a fullness in life that we have continued to share. One that has continued to enrich our lives beyond measure.

We don't really need that much. We don't need new cars. We don't need huge houses. We don't need expensive vacations. We don't need to go out every night for dinner. And we don't need to waste a ton of money on things we think we need to make us feel better.

We can breathe in life and breathe out the peace or stress that we accumulate and we can share love and hope and yes, even our dreams. Dreams are good but only if we remember our feet must be firmly planted on the ground so we can move forward. Our eyes must be opened to the way things really are so we can see which way we are going and figure out which direction we need to go so we don't waste years being lost.

Occupy Wall Street

2011-11-28T21:21:00.000-08:00

Here is a YouTube video about Occupy Wall Street that is so eloquent that I wanted to share it and remember it. I have never been more proud of a time in our history where more and more people are really getting what is important.

Black Friday - Tool Shopping

2011-11-25T20:30:00.000-08:00

My Grandmother used to tell me, "The masses are asses." She lived for 85 years and was one of the most aware and awake people I've ever known. She was an avid reader and studied politics, philosophy and appreciated great writers and loved music. She lived through the Roaring Twenties, Prohibition, the Great Depression and two world wars. So she knew a bit about a thing or two. Though I didn't have the understanding about much of what she said by personal experience, I knew enough to listen to her because I knew she was telling me the truth.

Some times knowing the context behind and through a commentary is important.

Black Friday. An interesting tarnish on Christmas. The day after Thanksgiving has been generally a good start to the holiday shopping season. If a business is in debt the bottom line numbers are red. If you owe you are in the red. Likewise, if your business breaks even or better yet has a profit it is indictated by black ink (from the old ledger books people used before computers) and thusly, it is referred to as being in the black.

The day after Thanksgiving is referred to Black Friday because it is the day that many businesses often go from being in the red to in the black. Lovely way to end the one holiday of the year that is dedicated to being thankful (even though behind this wonderful premise a bloody genocide occurred across this nation), yet, the contemporary meaning of Thanksgiving has come to mean, a day we all give thanks, regardless of our faith or our cultural and ethnic background.

This year there was a lot of hype about select stores opening at midnight on Thursday so shoppers can make a mad dash to get their grubby hands on the best deals in town. Of course these are big corporations that are leading the way. And quite frankly, it pisses me off. Most people are working two to three part-time jobs to keep afloat these days. They do this because companies don't want to have to pay for their health care. As a result, they also don't get any paid vacation. So Thanksgiving and Christmas and New Years are the three days people get to spend a nice, relaxing (or crazy) time with their families. It means people can take a plane or train or automobile and be with the people they love and stay over night on Wednesday and stay until after dinner on Thursday or maybe even until Friday before heading home. But now these corporations have even cut that short.

I got to thinking, what's the big rush? Why offer huge discounts on a certain number of items, I mean, you know they have to be making a shit ton of money or at least they hope to, so what's up with the rush? And then it hit me. It took a few days but I had an epiphany.

Thanksgiving is at the end of the month. Most of us live month to month and have very little to save. And whatever we have we spend on travel to be with our families or to prepare a special meal and sit with our families for a delightful meal and lots of (well with my family anyway, shenanigans and laughter). So what's an idiot to do that has to grab that flat screen TV or whatever bright shiny object is being pushed out there, center stage? Well, the only thing one can do, charge it. Stores who have their own credit cards offer special deals for signing up during the holidays too. So it doesn't matter how much they sell you that TV for, if it is going to take you a year or two to pay it off, at 20-30 percent interest, they got you comin' and goin'. Which leads me back to the beginning, my grandmother was right. The masses are asses. In other words don't be a tool for these mega-corporations that continue not to get it and that continue to put profits their over what is best for the people who work for them and who shop in their stores. The only one who will lose is you. Buying things on credit is never a good idea. Doing without and making do is better. Climb out of debt and then budget yourself and save for holiday shopping little by little all year long. So you can shop wherever you want to. You might even be able to buy hand made things and put the money you spend back into your own communities.

If you are barely scraping by here are some ideas that we have done. We do a gift exchange. We put a name on a piece of paper and throw all of the people we are going to share a gift with in a bowl and then we write a list of names and the first name picked out is the one the first person on the list will buy for. Unless, of course, they get their own name. Then they get to choose again. When you have a couple of families joined together by siblings and marriage, this really helps. You can make something for someone you love or buy them a gift. And if you want to you can also buy for your own family members, or make gifts. It is much easier to handle your finances this way and also much easier to stay within your budget.

It was Black Friday today. And I didn't shop for one damn thing. It was in the sixties, the sun was out and I gave my lovely Akita Coco and shower and then we went for a wonderfully harmonious walk in the park.

I sat with two of my grown children and we laughed and talked about what we were grateful for. And while we missed our boy who is far away, we were grateful he had a kick ass time with an amazing family. And I shared a great quote.

In fact, it was so good I'll share it with you now. It is from the book entitled, "have a little faith," by Mitch Albom.

"A man seeks employment on a farm. He hands his letter of recommendation to his new employer. It reads imply, 'He sleeps in a storm.'
"The owner is desperate for help, so he hires the man. Several weeks pass, and suddenly, in the middle of the night, a powerful storm rips through the valley. Awakened by the swirling rain and howling wind, the owner leaps out of bed. He calls for his new hired hand, but the man is sleeping soundly. So he dashes off to the barn. He sees, to his amazement, that the animals are secure with plenty of feed. He runs out to the field. He sees the bales of wheat have been bound and are wrapped in tarpaulins. He races to the silo. The doors are latched, and the gran is dry. And then he understands, 'He sleeps in a storm.'"

Many people live throwing themselves, willy nilly into each day, without any forethought about what they are going to do. One thing about being a farmer is you learn to be flexible. You learn to watch nature and plant when the climate is right. You learn to watch the changing of the seasons and you learn how to be prepared for what is coming.

It took me a long time to learn how to make decisions based on reality. One what is in my hand. I don't spend what I don't have. I don't get anxious because there is something I want to buy that I can't have. Maybe living with an awareness of how fragile and temporary life is has had something to do with this. Maybe in my 57 years I have learned a thing or two.

Here are my words of wisdom for you, this holiday season, don't be a tool. Keep your eyes on what is truly important. Take time to be with your family. Love and cherish those friends that enrich your life and and the rest of them, be nice, you'll be back home soon.

McIntosh Apples

2011-11-17T18:55:00.000-08:00

McIntosh Apples by Jenn Weinshenker

there's nothing quite like
a bowl of McIntosh apples
so lovely
these rustic reds
and granny apple greens
so round
they fit so perfectly
in the palm of my hand

the day after tomorrow I'll bake
two pies for friends
cinnamon and apple and crust
will yum the oven
when they are done

A Good Day

2011-11-14T20:31:00.000-08:00

It was a wonderful day today. I couldn't figure out why I was so blocked. And as I looked at when everything stopped I realized it was because the formatting dealeo for the books was too complicated.

I realized I needed to focus on the writings and work on the art book after that. I needed to get my writings together in one folder. Check. And I needed to create all of the folders I needed for the book. I finally came up with a title that I loved. And I realized that while I couldn't understand all of the directions in the formatting instructions I knew I had understood each one independently. So now I'm focusing on reading each piece. I started with the group of poems. Once those are all perfectomundo, then I'll put them in order and start working on the prose. And then the short stories and essays. Once those are all in a rich text format, proofed and edited and in order then I'll design the cover and send it all off to be copyrighted. While I'm waiting for my paperwork to come back I should feel so comfortable enough doing the formatting to figure out what I need to do to incorporate the art work and add some graphic design elements to the text that will go wherever I want to put them.

So whew. I feel better. I had a really good productive day today. And filling the brush with color and the screen with words I fall in love with, man, makes it all worthwhile.

Yep.

Focus - Must Make a Better List

2011-11-13T19:48:00.000-08:00

It is November 13th. It has been eight days since my last post. On my refrigerator door there is a message board. There I keep track of long term goals and daily tasks.

I am nearly finished with a painting I've been working on for around a year, maybe longer. And two others are calling to me to finish them as well.

I decided to get started on formatting my art book and also a book of writings.

On my list of daily tasks was Paint and Write. And I'd think today, I will make some real headway. And I'd take care of my daily chores and take Coco for a walk and rake the yard but I couldn't seem to focus on anything in particular to write or find my way back to the canvas.

I think when I am in focus I should make the lists more detailed. Start a file for the book and copy and past my work in it. And begin the formatting process one step at a time. I think the Art Book is too confusing to do. Putting the art stories and lines together with images of my work is daunting. Now is when I wish I could pay someone to help me through it. It has been over a year since I published, "Down the Road." Since I've used the InDesign program. Since the writings are already edited I think it will be best to work on that and get my feet muddied first before attempting to work on the other.

Ever since the accident, a driving motivation that has helped me keep going has been a sense of urgency. I must finish this painting before I die. I must finish this page, this chapter and this book before I kick the bucket and all of the work I have done thus far will be left, undone.

And so for the past two years I've been in the process of finishing. Other than this blog I haven't written much new. I've edited. And painted but not much seems to leave these walls. And when I do get a book reading and signing it takes so much work to reach the right people and prepare and get there and all of that energy and focus prevents me from keeping the momentum I need to have mentally, to get things done.

And then I think, but what if I don't have that long to get this all done? What if something happens? What if I get lost in this nothingness and all that I've done is all I will do? This has been an ongoing train of thought since the brain injury. It took so much work to get this far. And with each accomplishment I felt like popping a cork of champagne and celebrating and declaring, "Ha! I've done it! One more project I've outlived!" And always there awaits another in the wings.

I have put a more detailed list on my daily task side of the board on my refrigerator. And tomorrow I will punch through the cellophane that keeps me from advancing ever so steadily toward finishing those things I refuse to leave, undone.

Works in Progress

2011-11-05T19:07:00.000-07:00

It was a beautiful day today. I watched The Monster That Challenged the World last night and It! The Terror From Beyond Space earlier today. Had a cup of coffee and took Coco for a nice long walk after working on a couple of canvases.

Here are two of the pieces I'm working on right now:

I'm about finished with the bark on the trees and need to work on the limbs a bit more before working on layering in the foliage. But its coming right along.

Here's another one:

Still haven't titled either of these yet. Usually, by the time I'm this far on a piece the name just comes to me. A few have been stewing but the right one hasn't come to my mind yet.

Corporate Tax Cheats

2011-11-04T07:50:00.000-07:00

I have often wanted to be able to access an informative report that shows which large corporations are getting huge tax breaks and which ones are connected to Washington DC politics. This is a very informative link and it is a reasonable interpretation of the facts and how they impact all of our lives.

Corporate Tax Cheat Report Article With Actual Report Link

If this makes a difference in how you spend your money or invest your money, good.

Occupy Wallstreet and The Great Depression

2011-11-03T21:12:00.000-07:00

All my life I remember hearing references to, "The Great Depression." Or, "The Depression." It was as though the Depression gave everything else my grandparents and their peers and my parents and their peers experienced a certain context that demanded its presence in their recollections.

From the time I was a little child I remember my grandma telling me about how when the stock market fell men jumped out of the windows of the office buildings in Chicago, to their death. She talked about how she would walk down streets and there were pink marble clocks and dressers and furniture there; precious possessions lost, without a home.

When I was young people used to have throw away piles that the garbage man would pick up. There would be clothes or shoes or odds and ends. When we walked with my grandma there wasn't one of those piles of those things discarded that we didn't pick through. I remember finding a pair of black velvet shoes that fit me perfectly once. They didn't have straps and they were so pretty.

In my generation people kept these things in their garage and put price tags on their miscellaneous things they didn't have any more use for and people who couldn't afford to go to a regular store to buy furniture or books or clothes, found what they needed at these sales.

I remember when the family got together they would laugh so hard. Talking about the old days and how little they had and how they all pooled together their money and some how made it through.

They were able to keep everyone together. Some families weren't so lucky. Some men had to travel far to find work. Many were so desperate they'd do anything for work. They worked under hazardous conditions.

During WWII this was also true. So during the 1940's people got together and fought for their right to represent themselves. And unions became more effective and powerful.

During the 1950's the Industrial Revolution was going strong and the smoke of steel and coal filled the air and the lungs of everyone who lived near them. Water began to kill off fish and plant life. And in the 1960's our environment became a very important issue.

And this time big money figured out how to sway popular opinion through newspapers and the radio and TV and soon the propaganda and a misrepresentation of facts began to make its way into the media. Those who were making money and who didn't want to be slowed down by the EPA or any rules that would cut into their profit margins started buying influence in Washington D.C.

The bankers and insurance companies got more and more powerful. And so did the chemical companies. And some where the 99% of us, we the people, who are being affected by the toxic wasteland that is our inheritance, have been left out in the cold.

So I am glad to see people saying, "This is not good enough. Not anymore." I hope everyone starts to recognize that their relatives and children who have developed cancer and other diseases from reckless policies and a lack of health care will also join with those who have decided the cards have been stacked against them long enough.

You know, it is only fair really. If it wasn't for all of us and our hard work and even with the way we spend our money, those big shots wouldn't have all of the wealth they have hoarded and shipped to wherever. If we invest in a service or education or a product the money we generate through what we do should be re-invested back into our own communities. It is so wrong, what has been done.

And these things have been going on all over the world. The governments and police and lawmakers have turned their backs on the people they are supposed to take care of and people who are crooks and dishonest have paved their way to lives that give them enough cush to ignore everyone who is affected by their greed.

This isn't the first time this has happened. Study history enough and you will see how this has happened on every continent. But maybe, hopefully, enough of us have learned enough to just stop, and not fight, and just stop being slaves anymore to an unjust way of living and working and being represented by those who are supposed to be getting paid by our taxes to make sure we are doing okay.

Look, the human race is fragile. We have all created this mess. We have all looked the over way when we should have been taking personal responsibility for the way things were. All of us. But that doesn't mean we can't stop and decide to make a reasonable, fair and honest difference now. Because we always have now. And that is all we know for sure.

Chicago Lighthouse Book Reading of Down the Road

2011-11-03T12:32:00.000-07:00

Not so long ago I was still dealing with having a Traumatic Brain Injury. I was in excruciating pain when I walked and I was always dizzy and felt sick to my stomach and my head hurt and neck and back and I was always dropping things and bumping into things. I was temporarily blinded when I'd walk outside of a store and some times I walked out in front of cars. But I had no idea why.

Thanks to the Chicago Lighthouse, Dr. Karen Squier a great Occupational Therapist, Hillary Napier, I began to understand why.

Since this time I have finished editing and published my book, "Down the Road," and I've been doing book readings and speaking engagements for the Ray Graham Association, United Way and the Girl Scouts.

I created a painting called, "Ribbons," for the Chicago Lighthouse.

This is the video from my speaking engagement and the dedication of my painting Ribbons at the Chicago Lighthouse. It was a great day.

I hope you enjoy it.

Indian Prairie Library Book Reading of Down the Road

2011-11-03T12:11:00.000-07:00

During the past four years, since I got Coco, my amazing Akita service dog, our lives have opened up. We started doing some public speaking for the Ray Graham Association and United Way and the Girl Scouts. I finished editing and published,"Down the Road" and I've started doing speaking engagements.

The Indian Prairie Library was the first public place Coco and I went to. Everyone who works there started getting to know us and watched Coco grow from the sweet puppy she was to the loving service dog she is today.

Coco gets excited when I tell her we are going for a ride in the car, or going for a walk, or when I tell her the kids are coming. And she really gets excited when I tell her we are going to the library. She has become friends with most of the people who work there and she looks forward to stopping and saying hi to everyone of them.

Early on it was evident that Coco had a special gift of sharing love with people she met in hospitals and in retirement homes.

To train her to be properly socialized I needed to have a safe place where I could train Coco to be okay with strangers coming up to me. I needed to make sure she would be gentle, no matter where we went, just in case I needed help one day and so we could travel easily in public places.

You will see why this was so important in this video.
I hope you enjoy it.

Power Bars? No Power Bikes!!!

2011-10-31T15:15:00.000-07:00

Power On....

Doodah doodah!!!

Support something real that also sends a powerful message and teaches more people about how to live with energy in a positive and sustainable way. Brilliant!

Light Sculptures

2011-10-31T14:23:00.000-07:00

This is Sydney Cash. He is an amazing light sculptor. I really enjoy the way he speaks about his work too.

I decided to look around and see what other artists are doing with light. Mathias Gmachl is creating some really interesting work. Check this out.

Here is another amazing artist, Beatrice Coron, who creates intricate images cutting paper.

Very cool stuff.

Bench Shenanigans

2011-10-28T10:24:00.000-07:00

We had a bench that got hit by a huge branch that got hit by lightening during a huge storm and tornado last spring.

The kids were out for a bonfire and some home made chicken soup, butternut squash and apple pie. We had such a good time.

I've been working like mad on a painting so I haven't been posting too much. I've been thinking about it but that is about as far as its gone. Hopefully, I'll start writing again soon. Lots is going on to write about.

There always is. But every now and then, it's time to have a laugh and this is one of those times.

Sonatas Harrison and Tea

2011-10-20T20:44:00.000-07:00

I listened to beautiful sonatas and George Harrison today. Made some lovely Chai and worked on trees and highlights with squiggly brush strokes and played with Coco.

The painting moves now. Even the trees. Not so much in a tree-like fashion. But in the way that felt right at the end of my brush.

Coco has been wonderfully patient. It has been rainy and especially windy for the past two days. Some waves along Lake Michigan were over twenty feet high. Coco has been content to chill out in the back yard. But she checks in to make sure I'm not up to any trouble. It's so cute the way she comes in and then tosses one of her bones toward me so I throw it. I get such a kick out of the way she initiates play with me. It's too cute.

I'll be working on one of the library speaking engagement for most of the evening. It's coming right along. In the next day or so they should be all set and uploaded.

I think I'll try to get names of owners of small businesses around here and see if I can do some small readings and book signings during November and through December. I have a lot of work to do to get the next 2-3 books formatted. They are finished. One is completely edited. The other two may need a little editing but not much. If I can get those all set through amazon.com by spring then that will be great. So we'll see how it goes.

For now, I think it is time to watch Casablanca and relax. Oh, I saw a movie through Netflix entitled, "Wild Target." I so enjoyed it. I have become so bored with american films. The ones I've seen lately have been so self-indulgent, pathetic and trite that most of them I've turned off before the first fifteen minutes are through. And I have always been a person who reads the whole book and watches the whole movie. But I've discovered that movies that start out this way, don't go anywhere. And they have been a waste of my time. The writing has been "shi'et" and the characters have been unengaged in well, just about everything but how awkward they feel, every day, all of the time.

But British film and foreign flicks from Japan and France and Brazil and China and Italy, those I have been thoroughly enjoying. I like seeing actors that haven't had their lips pumped, their faces pulled and who actually have expressions that look - real. And the stories are about people and relationships and life. And whether they are dramatic or ironic or just plain entertaining, they are so much better than anything I'm seeing here.

All that said, I really enjoyed the performances of Bill Nighy, Emily Blunt and one of my faves Rupert Grint. It reminded me of the film, "The Whole Nine Yards." In that movie, by the way, was one of the best awkward moments I've ever seen (or heard). And it was hysterical.

Here are a few of my favorite foreign flicks:
The Road Home
Grave of the Fireflies
Cherry Blossoms ~ Doris Dorrie
Shower ~ Zhang Yang
Burnt Oranges ~ Silvia Malagrino
Most mysteries from British TV or Films and just about anything British I've seen on PBS.

In a Nutshell

2011-10-19T08:06:00.000-07:00

Things my grandparents taught me:

Spend less than what you make. Save what you can, for a rainy day. don't listen to people who show their teeth too much when they smile. Preachers of any kind are like snake oil charmers (never knew what those were). They just want to sell you a bill of goods and take your money. The same could be said about investment brokers.

You never get something for nothing. And a favorite quote of Grandma's was by Mark Twain. "A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain." The same could be said about insurance companies.

These are things I've learned and have shared with my children:

If life is boring and dull and nothing is happening - you be happening. Read a book and learn a thing or two. As you get more interesting you will be prepared for when you meet interesting people. Listen more than you speak. Question more than you claim. And never, ever trust anyone who has more to gain by your loss than your success.

Just sayin'.

This is what I've seen.
Way back in the sixties we began to walk on our own two feet. And when we looked around us we saw greed and corruption and people being locked into careers and educational programs that were geared toward feeding the corporate machine. What does that mean? That means that science classes were geared toward growing whatever corporations and the government wanted people to think and do when they entered the work force. All of those sitins on campuses in the sixties and early seventies? That's what they were about. Instead of offering classes and programs that addressed pollution and how to solve problems that were effecting our planet and our health classroom material pointed young minds in the direction corporations wanted them to go so they would be good little workers.

Back then there weren't seat belts, because they would be too costly. Thank you Ralph Nader for all of the work you did to protect us from the big automakers.

Back then Nixon had black lists of people his paranoid ass thought were his enemies and he used the government to make their lives miserable. The IRS went after people and were ruthless and people didn't have much they could do about it. And shit tons of money was being dumped and wasted in the "Cold War." Oh, and nuclear power became the end all to our energy needs and weapons of mass destruction that helped to make us, at least feel, indestructable.

Back then we got high. We turned on and turned off the corporate media machine, the TV, and we shared music and our thoughts and love with one another. Was it all shiny and beautiful and without blemish? No. A lot of people went too far and lost their way and never came back. But there were a whole lotta other people who saw that the poolution in the environment was making its way into the water and soil and back up through the crops we were growing and it was making people sick. And cancer was on the rise. While still not killing children yet, it was becoming a concern.

In the seventies there were lots of wizards in their own little corporate OZ that were fiddling around behind a curtain. And even though the toxic waste was killing off wildlife their basic line of defense was, "Don't listen to the goofballs who are telling you this is bad. And, "Don't pay attention to the man behind the curtain." And slowly TV and football became the tit people had latched on to. Now I love me some Bears football. And the Packers and Lions too. But when there are games on all weekend and twice through the week pretty soon the fan frenzy forgets that it is better to get off your ass and go play with your kids outside than it is to sit on it all weekend and drink beer and yell at your kids to get out of the way of the TV screen. Again, I'm not tellin', I'm just sayin'.

I remember the Reagan years. The recession and banks charging huge interest rates and people losing their homes and businesses closing and everyone getting wise that the trickle down theory the republicans were pushing didn't work. These were the years that the CIA was sticking their nose into the business of other countries and causing uprisings and the kind of torture that had been used during WWII were being taught by them to little Nero's in new suits of another generation. Watch the movie, "Burnt Oranges." If you can't find it, buy it. Watch Motorcycle Diaries. And anyone who stood up for their people and against these tactics and the governments that had become corrupted that were killing their own people, well, they simply disappeared.

During this time heroine and cocaine were being brought into this country in such volumes that there is no way in hell this was happening without a whole lotta somebodies making a shit ton of money corrupting anyone who had something real to say about our human condition. Slave traders sold out and turned a whole generation into pathetic zombies that couldn't function or think for themselves beyond what they needed to do and how far they needed to go to get their next fix. Harsh word from an old hippy? Too bad. That's what I've seen. The same thing happened with ecstasy and raves and booze for that matter. And kids from another generation numbed their brains and screwed up their nervous systems.

Jimmy Carter was a glimmer of hope. He managed to keep us from war and went on to become the best ex-president we've ever had. This man so got it. He tried to stop the insanity but the republicans pulled the same old shit when he was in office. The stopped the wheels from turning in the Congress and Senate and then blamed him for not getting anything done. Corporate money had its hooks in back then and they only got deeper with time.

In the eighties it was buy more buy the best. Work hard and work more and buy buy buy. Your things and where you go on vacation and what you buy when you get there will make you happy.

In the nineties it was buy more but buy it cheaper when it comes from a third world country that will let corporations pay their people twenty-five cents an hour, if that and then for a thank you very much, they will dump all kinds of pollution into their water and air and land for good measure. What corporations were doing without our knowledge by the way, was despicable. But most of us didn't care because we were investing in the market and making huge profits and we could buy MORE with what we had. Back then Bush was moving the money around and favors and policies and acting like he was inept and didn't know what was going on all the way to the bank.

Things were so bad that an unknown, Bill Clinton got elected as president. Twice. And he too was brilliant and wanted to make changes. He exposed the issues and people called or wrote to their congressmen and senators and the republican people got involved and thought for themselves and said, "Hey buddy, vote that way and I'll vote you out."

Then Rupert Murdoch bought up FOX and the propaganda machine was installed. Twenty-four hours of bullshit was unleashed and people turned into the new and improved snake oil charmers of the 21st century. And he also bought MTV and changed the programing from music to dumb dipshits with money acting stupid and calling that the youth of America. And corporations saw a potential fertile ground for a feeding frenzy and they had at it.

And then the second Bush came in and all confidence in our democracy and our votes being counted accurately and people being prohibited from voting and racial profiling was so disgusting that the whole world had lost respect for us. And we were helpless to change it because we didn't have access to the right passwords.

Now during these days we didn't have a TV. And when we did and we got cable and we could see unbiased nature and science programs it was great. But when crap movies and shows took over I cancelled it all and started buying good books and leaving them out for the kids to read. They weren't getting exposed to much of that in school so I invested in their future and their brains and brought home ideas that they weren't being taught in the public schools. And I set an example for them of honesty and hard work and not spending more than you made and all of that - with a Traumatic Brain Injury. So there. And I noticed parents getting lazier and lazier.

So now here we are. Chemical companies that produce pesticides and seed and fertilizer for great big plants and crops can genetically engineer our grain and processed foods and dump so much crap into our food and water that our bodies don't even function anymore. They figured out how to store medicines in our fat and how to create food that never makes us feel full. So we have all kinds of obesity and and cancer. Some of these corporations have strong armed our farmers so that they can't buy seed from them unless they buy their pesticides and fertilizers too. Our food has such a bad reputation that there are many countries that won't even accept it into their food supply anymore.

I'm not going to candy coat anything this morning. Do your own research and read a damn book. Google a word, start some place and keep reading until you know something you don't already know. And learn and figure shit out for yourself.

So now here we are. People all over the world have had their pensions ripped off. The global economy that looked like such promise for making even more money and buying more shit has stung us like some kind of mythic scorpian. The money goes from one country to another and it is either shipped out in crates or flown in private jets to islands and banks in other countries and nobody knows where it came from or where it all went. But we sure as hell know its gone don't we?

The money that people spent here was not reinvested through taxes and more business here. No. It was stashed away so more governments could be bought and more wars could be raged and more weapons could be manufactured and more hatred grew and grew and grew. Until young people and women stood up without any weapons and said no. They said, "We want peace." "We want to know what happened to our children and spouses who disappeared." And change started happening. Corrupt officials were ousted and shamed. And mass graves were uncovered. And the wounded began to walk again.

Look, it doesn't matter to me what party some one says they belong to. This is what I know. You are all full of shit. If you wanted to solve the real problems we are facing, like pollution and corporate greed and better education for our children and health care for everyone, it would have been done. You are all to blame. And I don't just mean the politicians. I mean the voters too. And everyone who turns on bogus TV and listens to crap and believes it because it is on TV. And everyone who chooses to look the other way. You want things to change. Everyone needs to join those demonstrators and just say, "No."

So here are my ideas for change.
No one group should decide for everybody what they can do with their bodies and who they love. If there are people who don't believe in being gay, here's a though, don't be gay. But you can't decide for someone else who they want to love because that is personal. You can believe until the cows come home that it is a sin and choose not to go there and that's your right too. But you can't force people to follow your beliefs because guess what, that's personal. A lot more respect and a lot less blind hatred would go far.

You want to believe in God and a religion? Cool. Go for it. But don't force people or kill people to believe the way you do. Because how people choose to believe they got here and what will give them a sense of purpose while they are here is their own personal business.

You don't believe in abortion? Fine. Don't have one. And while you are at it keep your kids home at night and play cards with them or go for a long walk or make things together. How many quilts could be made after homework for people who don't have blankets? Now I'm not saying everyone needs to stay home and make quilts - its just an example of something constructive people could be doing with their time while they are relaxing and listening to music. Or here's an idea, be your own band and learn how to play instruments together. What you do is your own business. Keep your own nose clean and keep it out of everybody else's business.

And while you are at it, there is a global problem with over-population. So use birth control. If your teen is sexually active put them on a birth control that will keep them from getting pregnant. Or give an incentive to folks for making good decisions. Once a person as a child they should be on birth control or get fixed. All of this I don't believe in abortion shit and then bringing in babies into the world you can't afford to feed and expecting the taxpayers to pay for you to stay home is ridiculous. I mean, maybe for one kid but come on, two, three and four? A whole lotta somebodies need to get real.

We've got plenty of work to do. We need to figure out if there is a way to clean up the toxic mess that has infiltrated the DNA of our country. We need to stop using oil and we need to stop drilling for gas. We need to use solar and wind power and we need to figure out a way to recycle even more and to generate gas we can use from our own waste. We need to grow our food organically and take care of our water. We don't have another twenty years. That twenty years earmark for change in the future people have been talking about since the sixties past over thirty years ago.

And before I step off of my soap box, we need to legalize pot for crying out loud. Really.

And we need to make immigration laws that are fair and realistic now and stop building more detention centers. Are you aware of how many detention centers, camps, prisons there are in this country? Places where families and legal representation can't help the people that are being caged in them? If I want to go to another country I have to get a VISA. And I have to pay to get there and I have to pay to get home. I have to ask if I can stay longer. And that's the way it is everywhere. Now some times famine and wars cause people to move away and go where they can survive. Detention centers are not the answer. They are prison camps. And they are a disgrace to this country. If someone is in this country illegally and they commit a violent crime then they should be sent back to where they came from. Absolutely. But for traffic tickets? And racial profiling and pulling people over and harassing them because they may be illegals? That's so wrong on so many levels. If people come into this country illegally and have kids here and they are told to leave then they gotta go. Here if people go to work in other countries there comes a time when they gotta go back home. They can come for a visit. Their families can go back home with them. And those left here can help to support them. But we can't support everybody. If people aren't paying taxes here and they aren't acting responsibly and they are having a bunch of kids and they are on welfare, how long do you think the free lunch is going to last?

And now we have Barack Obama. I voted for him. I respect him and I might even vote for him again. He has worked tremendously hard to change the tone of the way the government has been working. I believe he has faith in our democracy and he appreciates the need for a two-party system. When he was in a position to bulldoze his policies through he chose to try to work with the republicans. He believed that the republican people would call their own party into check. He clearly wasn't interested in participating in a fascist approach to running this country. And I respect that. Big time. But the time for blaming our representatives and talking is over. People, everybody, needs to say, "This isn't working for me." And everyone needs to make sure that campaign finance reform takes place and that all of our votes are counted. There is no reason whatsoever that we can't have our own passwords so we can double check and make sure our votes were counted accurately. And a list of how people vote should never be sold or supplied to any political party or to anyone at all. That's private. That's our own personal business.

We need representatives that will say this is what I believe and this is what I will do. And then we need an easy access site to see exactly how they voted and what happened. And then we need to make our choices for the next election based on real facts instead of personal attacks and bullshit. And we need this to happen now.

There needs to be some kind of reasonable approach to dealing with these issues. Nobody is going to get everything they want. Does that disappoint you and make you want to kick your feet and throw a tantrum? Okay. Kick your feet. Is life disappointing for you poor thing? Get used to it. Everything does not revolve around your little comfort zone.

Look, it is clear there are too many people, including corporations and some times even Unions (and I support the Unions big time), that have been riding on the backs of everyone else for too long. And guess what, the backs? - they are a breaking. So get over it and roll up your sleeves - everybody - and take responsibility for your decisions and do something positive that is going to make your life and your families life and the world a better place.

Or don't.

That's your business.

I gotta go. I got things to do.

Koch Brothers Raising Cain

2011-10-17T06:39:00.000-07:00

I have been reading quite a bit about David and Charles Koch. Below are some articles and links and every now and then my own two cents.

An Associated Press Article about the Koch Brothers and Herman Cain by Ryan J. Foley
........Long ties to Koch brothers key to Cain's campaign
By RYAN J. FOLEY - Associated Press - Republican businessman Herman Cain speaks during a dinner sponsored by Americans …

(AP) — Republican presidential hopeful Herman Cain has cast himself as the outsider, the pizza magnate with real-world experience who will bring fresh ideas to the nation's capital. But Cain's economic ideas, support and organization have close ties to two billionaire brothers who bankroll right-leaning causes through their group Americans for Prosperity.

Cain's campaign manager and a number of aides have worked for Americans for Prosperity, or AFP, the advocacy group founded with support from billionaire brothers Charles and David Koch, which lobbies for lower taxes and less government regulation and spending. Cain credits a businessman who served on an AFP advisory board with helping devise his "9-9-9" plan to rewrite the nation's tax code. And his years of speaking at AFP events have given the businessman and radio host a network of loyal grassroots fans.

The once little-known businessman's political activities are getting fresh scrutiny these days since he soared to the top of some national polls.

His links to the Koch brothers could undercut his outsider, non-political image among people who detest politics as usual and candidates connected with the party machine.

AFP tapped Cain as the public face of its "Prosperity Expansion Project," and he traveled the country in 2005 and 2006 speaking to activists who were starting state-based AFP chapters from Wisconsin to Virginia. Through his AFP work he met Mark Block, a longtime Wisconsin Republican operative hired to lead that state's AFP chapter in 2005 as he rebounded from an earlier campaign scandal that derailed his career.

Block and Cain sometimes traveled together as they built up AFP: Cain was the charismatic speaker preaching the ills of big government; Block was the operative helping with nuts and bolts.

When President Barack Obama's election helped spawn the tea party, Cain was positioned to take advantage. He became a draw at growing AFP-backed rallies, impressing activists with a mix of humor and hard-hitting rhetoric against Obama's stimulus, health care and budget policies.

Block is now Cain's campaign manager. Other aides who had done AFP work were also brought on board.

Cain's spokeswoman Ellen Carmichael, who recently left the campaign, was an AFP coordinator in Louisiana. His campaign's outside law firm is representing AFP in a case challenging Wisconsin campaign finance regulations. At least six other current and former paid employees and consultants for Cain's campaign have worked for AFP in various capacities.

And Cain has credited Rich Lowrie, a Cleveland businessman who served on AFP's board of advisors from 2005 to 2008, with being a key economic adviser and with helping to develop his plan to cut the corporate tax rate to 9 percent, impose a national sales tax of 9 percent and set a flat income tax rate of 9 percent

"He's got a national network now that perhaps he wouldn't have had 15 or 20 years ago because of his work with AFP," said Republican Party of Wisconsin Vice Chair Brian Schimming, who has introduced Cain at events in Wisconsin. "For a presidential candidate, that's obviously helpful to have."

He said Cain was smart to hire Block.

Cain's recent victories in straw polls in Florida and Minnesota highlight the importance of organizing supporters and Block, who has a deep network in the tea party, "gets that side of it," Schimming said.

But Block has had his problems as well. He settled a suit in 2001 accusing him of illegally coordinating a Wisconsin Supreme Court justice's re-election with an outside group. Block agreed to pay $15,000 and sit out of politics for three years.

While Cain is quick to promote his career at the helm of the Godfather's Pizza chain, his ties to AFP aren't something the candidate appears eager to highlight.

His campaign did not respond to inquiries seeking comment, and Cain does not include his AFP work on his biography on his website.

But Cain continues to work with the group.

While several other candidates will be at an Iowa Republican Party dinner on Nov. 4, Cain is scheduled to be in Washington mingling with activists at AFP's annual "Defending the American Dream" summit. He is the only confirmed presidential candidate for the event.

AFP spokesman Levi Russell said Cain has spoken at dozens of AFP rallies and events over the years to support a number of the group's activities. AFP has often covered his travel expenses or paid a "pretty modest honorarium" but he has not been paid since becoming a presidential candidate, he said.

"He's a dynamic, pro-business speaker that connects well with our activists," Russell said. "AFP is a very large organization, and there is a natural overlap between Cain's message of fiscal responsibility and the basic principles that AFP advocates for."

A spokeswoman for the Koch brothers did not respond to The Associated Press's request for comment on Cain.

To some liberals, Cain's rise with the help of AFP shows the incredible influence that outside groups controlled by super-wealthy individuals with specific agendas can have on the political process.

"Herman Cain is the first presidential corporate spokes-candidate," said Scot Ross, a liberal activist who leads One Wisconsin Now, which has often mocked AFP as a front group for corporate interests. "The best way to have your issues talked about in the issue debate is to have a candidate in your pocket with snappy comebacks and easily branded policy papers which mask how destructive they would be."

AFP's agenda also includes weakening private and public sector unions, opposing environmental regulations and undoing Obama's health care reform law, among other policies. But before the tea party and Obama, Cain worked with AFP on more local issues.

In 2006, he campaigned all over Wisconsin in support of a proposed constitutional amendment that would have limited state government spending. A slew of officials and analysts said the plan would have ultimately devastated government services, and the Republican-controlled Legislature eventually backed off it.

In a statement announcing Cain's tour, AFP sent out a press release touting his "in-depth understanding of the battle to control out-of-control government taxes and spending." Block promised that Cain was a speaker that activists would not want to miss.

..

Koch Brothers New Yorker Article

When I started to do some research on the Koch brothers I wanted to find out what industries they owned. Where did all of that money they had acquired come from? And I was shocked to find in these search engines anti-semetic attacks on them. I dug further to find out that they are not, in fact, Jewish. What did trouble me was the undertone of hatred that was tacked onto their behaviors, especially for something that wasn't true. So just for the record, Fred C. Koch was their father. He was not Jewish. Neither was their mother. And neither are the Koch brothers, David and Charles.
David and Charles Koch
Fred C. Koch, the Koch Brother's Father

Check out the ways this family has made their money.

Coco's Subaru Commercial

2011-10-16T18:46:00.000-07:00

Here is a short YouTube video clip of Coco doing a few takes for a Subaru commercial this October, 2011. She was great.

Here are some pictures of Coco during her Subaru Commercial Shoot. It was such a cool experience. The crew, actors, director and everyone else were delightful, creative and interesting to watch as they put this commercial together. The Production Manager took these pictures. They looked so good I thought I'd share them.

Here is Coco enjoying a little lovin with one of her two co-stars. This was just after she jumped into the back of the Subaru Outback. She was having such a good time.

This one is of Coco looking at the camera, checking her mirrors from the front seat. She looks so pretty.

Coco did such a good job.

Coco was listening so good. I was offset, using hand signals and an occassional verbal command.

The natural lighting of this one is so lovely. Coco was taking a little break between takes.

Is this Coco sleeping on the job? It's been a long day. Ssshhhh.

I really enjoyed this whole experience. Figuring out how to get Coco to do what she needed to do with me off-set, using hand signals and moving in the direction of where she needed to look. And to get it to look like she was doing what she needed to and looking spontaneous. It was such fun.

And finally, here is Coco's Subaru commercial. It is on TV and on YouTube.

Isn't she lovely? Isn't she beautiful!

Down the Road Book Reading at Library

2011-10-16T17:07:00.000-07:00

Recently, I did a book reading and book signing of my book, "Down the Road." Coco, of course, went with me. This is our favorite library where everyone knows us. They sure do love Coco and she loves them right back. And I think they kinda like me too. It is because of this closeness and acceptance that I wanted to do my first library book reading and signing there.

I put together this little video to show what it is like when we do a book reading or speaking engagement.

No Regrets For Our Youth

2011-10-16T12:51:00.000-07:00

It had been a beautiful spring day. The sun was out. The clay earth was muddy and getting soft. I pruned a tree and moved a few bulbs around to the front of the house. I don't remember what they are but the design on them in the garden will look good.

Coco and I went to the park for a walk. And to the grocery store and the library. I picked up a Japanese film called, "No Regrets For Our Youth." It was an incredibly relative, beautifully filmed movie, inspired by historical events. I have heard of the Kyoto Agreement. I think that's what it is. And I recognized it sounded Japanese and I think it was a good thing. Like a Pulizer Prize. Maybe it's a group of learned people who agree on something important. I wasn't sure. Still don't know. But as I write this I'm going to do some research and share what I learn with you. Feel free to explore the links I share, as they will give you more information that my statements could possibly reflect.

"No Regrets For Our Youth," was directed by Akira Kurosawa. And I'm not going to say much more about the specifics of the film because finding out some of the details of its making were such a pleasure as they unfolded that I'll leave that treat to whoever might check this movie out.

I just saw the most interesting film. No Regrets For Our Youth. It's a Japanese film made in 1946. And it was an amazing movie to experience. It is subtle. It is contemplative. A few times either the acting or the point and the flow weren't in complete harmony, but those were maybe a few seconds throughout the whole movie. It had some really inventive camera angles and the handling of light and dark, the way life happens and then how we find our way to what we're going to do about it... man, I haven't seen anything more true in many ways. I've studied eastern philosophy for most of my life. And in most respects it feels completely natural. A story told, an historical story told, like a living flute, breathed by its owner. It's some how a knowing thing. Anyway, I think you might get into it.

It's a story that is about the human condition and the struggles and aspirations of youth and the ultimate understanding that when we chose to take responsibility for our own lives and as a result affect our families and communities in an hopefully positive way, we will find our way to a meaningful existence.

After seeing this movie I decided to do some research about when Manchuria was taken from China...

I had no idea how complex and the relationships between Russia, Japan and China and even the USA were.

I'll provide a few very informative links but in a nutshell, Japan decided to go to war with China for her ports and to get access to farmland. The Chinese did not want them there. They wanted to be autonomous. The Russians and Japanese built a railroad across China. They used it for trade and to have the ability to move soldiers to a given area quickly.

There were lots of promises made, lies told and deceptions invented. At times the Chinese went to the world community for help. Some really good suggestions were made and agreements were signed but nothing was apparently enforced. Atrocities were commited and decades passed. And all kinds of conflicts and misery ensued. I did not know how long these problems had existed or and how many generations of people had been affected by the resentment and hatred during that time.

Yoshizawa Tatsuhiko

History of Manchuria

History of Manchuria Part 2

Manchuria Bibliography

Manchuria ~ WWII

After reading these papers and book excerpts I am left with a feeling of sadness.

I wonder how long we will go on trying to bully or oppress or commit atrocities against each other in order to silence those who say something we don't like or don't want to hear.

The truth is usually pretty simple. It seems reasonable to believe that Japan wanted to expand to allow for its growing population. To do this some of the people decided to begin by taking control over ports for trade and then continued to move north and eventually widen its path for farmland and rail routes.

Terrible crimes against humanity have occured whenever one group of people decided to take something that didn't belong to it. Suffering beyond measure has been woven through of all of our histories. And perpetrators invariably have denied their crimes and have shown little or no remorse. In fact, when they are not held accountable for their crimes they become even more arrogant and brash.

So now back to the movie, "No Regrets For Our Youth." This film adds another voice to this time of history. It has an honest ring to it. And at this time of my life, when I have been studying the importance of negotiations in a functional democracy; I find my feelings are even more focused on this point.

Coco Akita Long Leash Training in Park

2011-10-14T11:21:00.000-07:00

Here is a video of Coco and me working with a long leash. Using the long leash gave me the freedom to train Coco and give her the space to make her own decisions. It helped me to stop tugging and to rely more on using sounds and verbal commands so we could work together in sync.

I put this long leash video together to show how to use this technique. I also use a whistle in one of the clips (sorry if it's loud) to get Coco used to coming from a distance when I use my whistle. A thirty-three foot leash, as you can see, is plenty of leash to let a dog roam with some freedom and enjoy a day with you in a park.

We have had a couple of serious encounters with dogs that were off leash. I've written about them in this blog. Once a german shepherd attacked Coco. We were talking with a friend and when we turned around to continue on our walk he was already across the street and took two strides and hit the air. I was also walking my son's Chihuahua. With my peripheral blindness and balance issues from having a Traumatic Brain Injury and with having difficulty processing information when things happen too fast, this could have been serious for more than one reason. The lesat of being that it's dangerous for me to fall and hit my head and for another reason, I have been working with my service dog for almost four years. If she would have gotten injured all of that hard work and the freedom to go places I now enjoy, would have come to a stop.

While the dog was in the air Coco bent down and as he was landing she grabbed him by the throat and threw herself in the air over him and came down straddling him. Her entire body was shaking with tension to keep him away from us. The owner came over and broke their concentration. Then Coco came right back to my side. She showed incredible restraint and did not bite the other dog.

This was a huge setback for us. I had to work on keeping Coco calm when we were walking near other dogs and I had a really rough time with not being afraid and tense myself. I thought the problem was over with this dog but the other day Coco and I were out walking and she cued me that something was ahead and I saw him loose again. So we turned around and walked the long way back to my car. I now drive to a park so Coco and I can avoid lose dogs and take a nice long walk.

Coco was finally getting calmer, me too, when three dogs swarmed around us in another park. This time I was overwhelmed and had a full blown reaction. I fell down and my hip and shoulder still hurt me, even though this happened months ago. This time Coco laid across my and protected me. She put her neck over mine and looked into my eyes and never looked away. There were wet spots all over her body where the other dogs were grabbing at her. She could have stood there and tried to protect me and try to fight with these dogs but she didn't. Instead she let her body shield me. The young man that was letting his dogs run loose in a public park that has leash laws, was just having a nice day. And before the ambulance took me away that's all I wanted too.

It took Coco and I about eight or nine months of work before both of us were calm and enjoying our walks again. Thanks to a trainer that we met in the park, we had the chance to work with another dog that had once been highly reactive to other dogs. Without this person taking time out of his busy life to help us, we might still be struggling.

I remember when I had my first Akita, Angel. Back when we had the farm. And then when we had Bear, my second Akita. And they were so amazing when they hit their stride and then began to lope, like deer. And I wished I could let them just have their freedom. But the reality is, there is traffic. In some countries dogs run loose. In some countries they are more members of the community they live in. But in some countries there is also a problem with rabid dogs attacking other dogs and people. So we have leash laws here. And they are good. Having leash laws means we can walk dogs and keep them from attacking each other or other people.

I remember when I was fostering dogs. And I had this amazing Chow Chow who had suffered indescribable cruelty. And I loved him and he became this amazing soul wrapped in a bundle of red fur. We walked later in the evenings because the heat was hard for him. Some new people moved into the area and they had two dobermans. And they let them loose late at night. They scared the hell out of me. Fortunately, I saw them before they saw us and we went back to the house. I wrote the new neighbors about Yogi and what he had gone through and that it was dangerous to just let their dobies loose at night. And they stopped. Which was awesome.

I have an Akita because all three of my Akitas were really intune with what I needed. Before I got dizzy or had what I call a bad spell, from feeling all woozy and not being able to focus on what was going on around me. Each one gave me cues to stop or sit down or go lay down. And they were all strong enough to brace for me, even before I knew what that was.

So having an Akita service dog is perfect for me. All that being said, Akitas may not be for everybody. If I let her run loose it would probably bother all kinds of people. So I put in fencing around my backyard. And I put her on a leash and we go for walks. She wears her service dog vest and still we have had to change our directions because people walking their dogs let them loose and don't have a clue that this may not be good for everyone else around. I don't care what size of a dog it is, encountering a dog off leash when all someone wants to do is take their dog for a walk, is really inconsiderate.

I shouldn't have to explain, I have a brain injury or I have peripheral blindness or say two words about why I need a service dog to anyone, unless I want too. Now I holler ahead and ask a person if their dog is on a leash. And so far, they have put their loose dogs on a leash. My point is, if you want your dog to have some freedom great, get a long leash. If you see anyone or another dog, loose or on a leash, you should bring your dog back to your side. You may be enjoying the day by letting your dog run loose, but it could wind up being a catastrophe, or at the very least a headache, for someone else.

Now I have an airhorn and dog pepperspray so if I do have a problem I can do something about it. And this has made me feel a lot calmer so I have been able to work on Coco's non-reactive training. She has been doing great with her training too. We both have. I'll need to get someone to take some video of us working. It's just hard to plan on when the opportunity is going to arise and so far, we've been alone everytime. But she is learning that I expect her to sit and look at me when a dog is passing us by. She is doing this consistently and wonderfully. And on occassion, when I see that the other dog owner knows what they are doing and they can control their dog, we even walk facing each other and Coco has done really well with this too.

I really enjoy being able to go for a walk and enjoy the day. So does Coco. I hope this video inspires others who may not understand why it is important for them to be able to bring their dogs to their sides quickly, to get a long leash. Dogs can be completely predictable and well trained and still run off and challenge another dog, even though this isn't their normal behavior. They can decide to run off and scare someone who has been bitten by a dog. Or they can bite someone. All of these things can be avoided if people simply take responsibility for their dog and get a leash and then use it. Just because we use a leash, that doesn't mean we can't have fun with our dog.

AIDS Enzyme

2011-10-14T07:45:00.000-07:00

Gamers help crack an AIDS enzyme puzzle.

This is a truly creative way to access our best recourses, our creativity and intelligence, to work through solutions that will bring about healing and change to our human condition.

We could be doing so much more if people could imagine harnessing an issue and exploring new ways to look at a problem and to find new ways of approaching how to make changes that will be constructive and responsible to our amazing planet and to all that live here.

You go gamers. When you think of how many people are out of work and who are brilliant, who could be connecting and finding new ways of thinking and working through our problems, the virtual sea of possibility is endless.

Occupy Wall Street - Immortal Technique

2011-10-14T07:38:00.000-07:00

My kids turned me onto Immortal Technique. I loved his honesty and his rap music. This interview is so good I wanted to share it with you.

Well Put.

The connection our government has to corporate wealth and greed is undeniable. We may not know what has been said or decided on in secret. The closed doors may be secured by all of the strength and secrecy money can afford. But we can see clearly the result of those agreements.

I see ads on TV about how we need to do more drilling for oil in Canada. The dessimation that has occured on this planet because of the manipulating of politics and the fuels we use for heating and mobility is shameful.

If you want to see a really good documentary about this check out "Why We Fight."

We don't need to feed the beast any longer. Oil is a finite resource. And pumping out gas and creating huge pipelines that could destroy a vast amount of our fresh water is so ridiculous I can't believe people promote these things in ads on TV.

We need to put our money and our resources toward developing passive ways to produce fuel for heating and our mobility. We need to make use of the wind and sun and recycle the gas we create through our own waste. We need to be doing these things now. I think there should be companies that facilitate these things but I think it should also belong to the people. Not to a few who use rate hikes as a source of power they can use against the very people it is supposed to serve. We also need individual resources that we can use on our own houses, to charge our own cars. And we need to put people back to work creating clean and safe forms of mass transit. And we need to do these things now. And you know what? Most of us know this. The reason why these things haven't been happening on a large scale since we first started realizing the importance of this for the stability of our environment and our own lives is because the big money that still controls our government is preventing it.

But when the people realize they have the power to get involved in their own communities and that they have the access to the internet that will help to level the playing field on those who can represent their own communities then they can begin to make changes in a small way that will also change the conversation we are having or not having with our own government.

Years ago I wrote about how we need to make a change in the way we buy food. Even if we can't afford to buy all organic foods or buy all cleaning products that are made by companies that aren't polluting our earth. But if we can buy one thing or a few things, this will start a trend. And little by little, farmers will choose to plant crops using organic methods and companies will see that there is an advantage to their bottom lines by how they take care of the planet while they are making the products they are selling.

And that is true. And so it is true these days. If you don't like what people are doing in high places, make changes in your own lives. Stop feeding the beast that is consuming your representation.

I mean, just take one frivolous beast we feed, Cable TV. We should be able to fund the channels we want to see. Like PBS and channels we think are enriching. But the people who determine what we have access to, say we have to pay a huge amount of money for all kinds of channels we don't support, to have access to the ones we want. I cancelled by cable years ago. I use Netflix and the local library to check out new things. And the internet. None of my kids even have TV and don't buy cable. People gripe about the ones who hold the strings because they don't realize they are in control of where their money goes. They'll pay any price to buy into crap they don't want to support. How many stations would lose their audience if their audience could shut them out of their lives? Lots. When people look at a corporate entity that is using the money they have to buy off politicians with lobbiests with their profits (profits they have because people pay for their product) and then they take it one more step and stop buying these products, whoa, things just might change.

We may not have much these days, but how much do we really need? If we don't have a job how about cancelling cable and going to the library and learning how to make something with our hands? Or how about going to city council meetings and recording what is going on there and then sharing it online? Or what about volunteering and helping each other out with our skills? We do not have to sit in a misery of our own making. We do not have to wait for someone to make everything all better. We have to get off of our own asses and make our own lives meaningful buy how we live everyday. We don't need a boss or a company or a corporation to give our lives meaning or to do something valuable with our time. We can get out there and live the change we want to see in the world. It's daring. I know. But its so good.

Like Ghandi said, "Be the change you want to see in the world."

Foxes on the Trail

2011-09-14T21:25:00.000-07:00

Early this morning Coco and I went for a walk with a couple of my walking buddies. While we were enjoying the crisp early morning air we saw a red fox coming out of some woods and crossing the street where he disappeared into more woods. We walked and noticed the smell of smoke coming from the forest fire in Minnesota and then we saw the little rascal again.

Only this time he was up on the lawn of a house and a man was throwing out a treat to him. One at a time the fox politely took what was tossed to him. And then he sat and waited for another treat. The man said there was a male and a female and each would take turns coming to his house. And after they ate they would fill their mouths with all they could hold and take the rest of the food back to three of their pups.

What was so interesting, aside from the level of trust and true caring these two shared was that the man had dogs in his house that were barking up a storm the whole time we were there. And three strangers who were talking to the man and one was taking pictures with her cellphone and there the fox was, patiently waiting and sitting with his posture completely relaxed while we visited with the man.

I love those unexpected, delightful surprises that life brings.

The rest of the day was productive.

Tonight I watched the movie, "Somewhere." Sophia Coppola directed it. I ordered it from Netflix but had no recollection of who was in the movie or why I wanted to see it. About half way through I realized, even though there weren't the typical formula stories or points of drama or comedy, well timed and in good measure; I completely was taken in by all of the characters. They were all totally believable. And I thought, whoever directed this movie was a really good director. It was an interesting film. It was about a film star, suspended somewhere in time, somewhere in his career and somewhere looking at his life and deciding somewhere along the way, that he wanted to live a real life. Sophia Coppola directed the film and Francis Ford Coppola produced it. All of the actors; Stephen Dorff, Elle Fanning and Chris Pontius played their parts beautifully. And though I was expecting more dramatic drama, the quiet sense of drama and change that evolved through these characters generated an energy through the story that was a genuine and lovely piece of art in the midst of a story that took the viewer somewhere - else.

Artwork Mozart and Politicians

2011-09-13T15:28:00.000-07:00

I've been working on finishing up a canvas and just about there with another. A Mozart cd was on auto-repeat and I was having a really good day.

And as I'm working my thoughts are wandering.

And I thought about this new Jobs bill President Obama wants to get through and how much resistance he has gotten over getting anything done since he was elected and I thought, wow, these politicians are so out of touch.

And this is why....

They are confused. They have forgotten that, "We the people," refers to all of us measily citizens. You know, the ones who are citizens and who pay taxes and who pay their salaries. Of course, we all know that there are lobbies and lobbiests and corrupt politicians who are only looking out for their own interests. The ones that fill their pockets.

But at some point it is time to wake up and realize that we have some serious problems we need to deal with in this country. One in six men are going to get Protrate Cancer. And one out of every eight women will get breast cancer. And 1-2 children out of every 100-150 will be diagnosed with autism.

We have jobless? Yes we do. Do we have people ready and wanting to work? Yes we do. President Obama has been compromising and govenors have been cutting their budgets and then there are those who do nothing but complain and oh yes, do nothing.

I don't care what party they call themselves. We are all sick of this attitude in Washington D.C. If President Obama gets a bill signed that helps people get to work on the infrastructure of our country that is in need of updating and repair and to kick start environmentally sound businesses then that is a win for everybody. It's like there is a resistance to do anything so President Obama doesn't get credit for it because maybe, just maybe, he would get re-elected.

Guess what, people care. They care a lot about what is going on. And it is ridiculous that party agenda or ideology is being put ahead of what is best for the people who elected these politicians to represent them.

So I say, if representatives aren't willing to work with the president and if they don't want to get that we are all in this together, then maybe people should take note of this and make sure not to vote these politicians back into office. I mean, if they aren't going to do the job then maybe people who are fed up with this mentality, regardless of what party they vote for ought to stop electing these people into office?

We need a two party system. I think even a parliment is a good idea. One party, that is facism and just google a country and the word facism and read how one party systems have led to civil wars and terrible deadly persecutions of people who lived in these countries. It's never good I don't care if it is philosophical, religious or rationalized by some other agenda, the we them mentality doesn't work. Because the reality is that, "we" is by its very definition inclusive and plural.

We have some serious problems in our world. And we need the finest minds to be able to focus on how we can go about solving some of these serious issues.

Really, industry should not exclude being environmentally pro-active. The two should walk hand in hand. Maybe scientists could work a little more on preserving and understanding the planet we need to survive on, instead of genetically altering our food and coming up with products that industries create while dumping pollutants into our air and water so some ridiculous and irresponsible status quo is perpetuated by those who owe favors to the politicians that are helping them to avoid change and stuff their pockets with more.

We need to focus on solar and wind power. We need to come up with inventions that help the regular everyday people who have a car, swapout gasoline with something else that isn't going to further destroy our planet on all kinds of levels.

We need to stop using pesticides and start learning how to work with nature to grow healthy food.

There is a huge company that is trying to be the source of seeds for growing everything. In their ideal world all people, all over the world, would have to go to them and get seeds to grow their crops every year. But seeds are essential in the growth and health of the plant. Plants with seeds have a hormonal affect on what consumes them. This is a really bad idea.

Oh, and building five casino's in Chicago? Really? So a few can haord a bunch of money and not pay taxes? Industry needs to take us ahead toward the promise of a better future. Honestly, intelligence would be a lot more beneficial to all of us if it was mixed with some good old fashioned, common sense.

We are in a fix here in this country because banks and real estate developers got greedy. Because people were greedy and because they made poor choices because they were ignorant and believed what the people who, "should know" told them.

And because chemical and pharmaceutical industries and oil and gas and utilities have made a ton of money here and then they moved it offshore to avoid paying taxes. So, "we the people" made them rich and then when it was their turn to pay up their share of the taxes they took their bundles of money out of this country and hoarded it elsewhere. Our resources were used and our labor and time was also used to create something. And then what we spent on those items was moved to some island account somewhere. It's hard to have pity on us because our captains of industry have been doing this kind of business in other countries for decades.

To change this we need to simply make a rule, you make it here and you sell it here then you need to pay taxes here. Where ever you sell something you should pay taxes there. If you make something in another country and you ship it to another country to sell it you first give that item a value and pay taxes on it. If that item is then received in another country and is sold then taxes should be paid wherever the unit is sold. Period. And quite frankly, I think paying more than a flat ten per cent of income in taxes is outrageous. So make it a flat payment. For everybody, including industry.

And cities, stop taxing people and ticketing people out of town. It's so stupid. I recently was in on a conversation where people were complaining about tickets and how they double when a payment is late and then they double it again. They don't allow people to make payments on tickets. They demand it all upfront. It's so crazy. It is short sighted and foolish.

Whether someone is from here or coming to visit from another part of the country, getting tickets or being towed is penny wise and pound foolish. I have only been to Chicago twice in several years because I'm so scared of getting a parking ticket. People are sick of getting huge tickets for going through a red light when they are stuck in a bunch of traffic and no-one knows how long a yellow light is going to last. They cut the seconds there is for a change from yellow to red down to three seconds. So if traffic is moving and you are getting ready to go into the intersection and then someone ahead suddenly stops you could wind up getting stuck just across the thick white line and you could get a ticket. People may be able to save up for a day or night in the city. They may be able to save enough for a nice meal and an event of somekind. They can even afford to pay for gas and parking. But throw in tickets and fines and tows and this is enough to make what was going to be a special time into a nightmare. It has left a bad taste in people's mouths and they aren't interested in coming to the city anymore. And then politicians complain and vendors complain because the numbers of people in attendance have gone down.

Make the city a nice place to come to and people will enjoy coming there.

So those are my ideas. I am a survivor of a Traumatic Brain Injury. Granted I did get my Bachelor's Degree but I'm still living way below the poverty level. Now if I can come up with these ideas, there should be a whole lot of people working on getting this country going and doing something about it.

I voted for President Barack Obama. And I'll gladly vote for him again. Because he gets it. Instead of bullying the Republicans, like they did when they had control, he extended a hand of co-operation so the tone of how our politicians work on Capital Hill. I think that he truly believes in the best of all that our country can be. And I believe in that too. So you keep on keepin' on, you are doinga great job. And you've got my vote.

Oh, just a suggestion. I think people should be able to easily access what they representatives voting records are so the everyday citizen, who is working overtime and busy can see what their representatives are doing and they can vote accordingly. And we should be able to create our own passwords and we should be able to keep our voting records confidential and we should be able to make sure that our votes were counted accurately. This is crucial to a healthy society. Campaign finance reform is really important. We need to offer people a fair and level playing field so more people can run for office and more people can be chosen by the voters instead of promoted into office by the much fewer rich and powerful. Because as we have seen, this doesn't always make for good politicians or leaders.

Hey, I still believe that most of us care about the same things. Taking care of our families. Having a good job to go to in a safe environment and having good schools where our children will have smaller classrooms so they can actually learn something. This is not rocket science. It can be done. But we have to expect that our representatives will go to Washington DC with a co-operative, open mind so people can work on the best solutions for all of us. We aren't all ever going to agree on everything all of the time. But we can get a lot done working on those things we can agree on. And the rest, we can find a compromise that is reasonable. That's what these guys are supposed to do. This is what they are getting paid to do. And with our votes, we should insist on it.

911 Ten Years Later

2011-09-11T10:27:00.000-07:00

By Jenn Weinshenker
September 11, 2011
-----------------------------------------------
I got up and put my slippers on
What dogs that were on the bed
Jumped down to the floor
The rest made way to the wooden staircase

I let the animals out and said good morning
To my llamas and donkeys and dingbat cats
Fed all of the animals great and small
And then scooped out some coffee
Setup the percolator
Turned the flame on
And readied my old coffee pot on the stovetop

The sky was exceptionally clear
And strikingly blue

School buses had long since come and gone
And my daughter was in class

My son was upstairs
there were no college classes
Or work this early today
He was asleep

Asleep and unaware of what was coming
Like we all were
Before the unthinkable act of violence
Was committed in New York, D.C. and Philadelphia
That early morning in September

No, I don’t want to go there
It hurts too much to remember
What I can't forget

I rarely switch the TV on that early
But I did that morning
The eleventh of September

I watched as the news broke in and showed
The first plane hit the first tower

I froze
I couldn’t move
Then I called up to my son

“Come down here, quick, hurry!”
There was no time to explain
He came downstairs and we watched the
Second plane hit the second tower

In a way those direct hits
Shook through all of us that day

What is happening? What is going on?
Our kids were sent home right away
My daughter would be home soon
What did she know?
How could I explain this to her?
How would I calm
Our foreign exchange student from Brazil?
We called my other son
To talk about what happened
And we called the rest of our family and friends
We felt compelled to hear their voices
We were the lucky ones
The ones that could still get through
The ones that could still hear their voices
One more time

In the throws of such tragedy
We, all of us
Felt this intense love and compassion
For our distant relatives who were not so lucky

Another plane crashed in Washington D.C.

We heard how heroes tried to take control
Of another plane
From their hijackers
And they succeeded in preventing it from being used
As another missile of terror
We learned how this plane did not make it to its
Final destination
Instead it crashed into a field in Pennsylvania

In the days that followed
We started hearing the last phone conversations
And messages left on answering machines
We heard those last I love you calls
And our hearts broke too

All planes were ordered to land
Everywhere
It was eerily quiet
I never realized how much
The sound of planes flying overhead
And the streaking tails of white that marked
Where they had been
I had gotten used to

Now it was hushed outside
And there wasn’t a trace of a plane anywhere

We had a foreign exchange student living with us
I was explaining how far away we were from New York
to his family on the phone
But my heart was aching
I could no longer discern the distance between us
We all grieved together as a nation
That day and in many other days to come
As the numbers of those who died
And were missing grew

The tragedy of 911 and the heroic actions of so many
Became indelibly etched in all of our minds
The pain of it
The ache of it
I can’t explain
I don’t think I will ever be able to express it
Because I don’t think I can ever
Go back there
And yet,
Heavy eyelids and silence and an ache
Have remained even until now
Ten years later
And I must go back there
To that moment
To that ache

I steeped my herbal tea
And got some oatmeal ready
I let out my dog in the back yard
And let my cats in
And though I rarely put on the TV early,
I turned it on when I got up today

I knew this day was coming
I marked it on my calendar
Though I didn’t need too
And I woke up much the same way I did back then
It was another beautiful blue sky day
But today on TV
Survivors were telling their stories
And their family members and dear friends
Were reading the names of those who died

I’m feeling so much sorrow
That I can barely see through
The clouds that have covered my eyes

I had been watching our firemen
Build a 911 Memorial out front
Near the park where I walk my dog
For much of the summer
And I remembered the day
A piece of twisted iron
From one of the towers
Was set in a foundation
And a brass eternal flame statute
Was placed next to it
They laid a beautiful low fieldstone wall around it
Where water covered tiny black stones
There below the rusty contorted beam
This was the first time I’d seen it finished
It was moving, respectful and some how calming
The flag was at half-mast

The first time I ever saw a flag at half mast
Was when President John F. Kennedy
Was assassinated
It was another act of violence
That also wounded us as a nation
But we are a nation made up of many nations
We are a nation of independent people
With amazing resilience

I told my service dog Coco,
Girl, we have somewhere we need to be
I got on my dark pants and sky blue shirt
And put a handkerchief
With the print of an American flag on it
Around Coco’s collar
And off we went
To the Tri-State Village Fire Department

It was too far to walk all the way from home
So I drove about half the distance
And then we walked the rest of it
Some how I needed to walk
I needed to experience this moment
With everyone else
And in my own solitude once again

There will be a dedication in about two hours
A lot of people will be here
But since my brain injury
I can’t handle the noise and flurry of large crowds
So I will fittingly watch the memorials
Of those who didn’t live to see this day on TV
And I'll listen to their families
Share their memories with all of us
This day, ten years later

I think
There are a lot of people in this country
Who want to take care of the land
And who work very hard to try to preserve our
Natural resources
There are many in this country who are humanitarians
And who want to make the world a better place
It is amazing how many people in this country
Make it their life’s work to do good for others
There are those who play music and those who write
There are those who create artwork
Those who keep every thing going
And those who play sports

And then there are those who join together
As a band of brothers and sisters
Who value the majesty
Of this country
Who love all of its people
And who choose to protect it
And many of them have lost their lives
In the line of duty
For this very reason

And then there are those who hate
And while the reasons why may vary
The hatred always leads to more hatred
And then some times to senseless acts of violence

And I wonder if we will ever understand and appreciate
How amazing and precious life is

I listened to more stories of survivors
Who were pulled from the rubble
And those who made narrow escapes
Missing planes and running late
And like the many others
Who saw these horrors unfolding
I shared with them a moment of silence

I appreciated the way
These survivors were impassioned
To live good lives in the names of those
Who had died
And who had valiantly given up their lives
To save others

And then I thought…
Maybe I can go there
Yes, I can go there too
To listen to their inspirational stories
And to honor their loved ones
That will always be cherished
No matter how many years have passed

An Air Horn - Who Knew?

2011-09-07T15:42:00.000-07:00

The other day I was walking with my friends and Coco was with us. And a lose dog came running down the driveway and out into the street. It was a sweet little Akita Inu I think. All he was doing was smelling Coco. But I went into a state of panic. My heart was racing and I was having a hard time breathing. Coco sat and turned her face into my body and stayed there. My friends helped and the people got their dog.

It became ever clearer that the problem is mine. As I was telling my daughter this she recommended I get an air horn. Like the kind they use at sporting events. So I got one. It may be a little louder than the one's in an arena because it is used out on lakes and for swimming competitions. But it will work just fine. We were out walking today and I felt so much more confident. There was a lose dog on its property but I think there was an invisible fence around their yard. When Coco looked over at the dog I tripped up her feet and told her to watch me. And she did and kept at a perfect heel. Because I wasn't anticipating the worst I could focus in on my panic and our walking. Coco did great.

It has been so beautiful out. When Coco was in the backyard she kept coming to the door like she wanted to come inside. And then she'd stand there and look at me. Like Mom, I want you to come outside. After a few times of this I took her to the park. She had lovely greets with people and even a few dogs walking close by on leashes. I told her to sit and watch me and she did. With complete focus. And I gave her treats.

Another week of this and the last thing I'll need to feel good about is straight on walking with another dog coming in our direction. It makes me really nervous when owners don't have their dogs on leashes up by them. But we're getting there.

An air horn. That was what I needed so if a dog came running out at us I could chase it away without hurting it. Six bucks well spent.

Over 100,000 People Lost Their Homes in Japan

2011-08-31T17:33:00.000-07:00

There are over 100,000 people who live in Japan, who have become Fukushima's Nuclear Disaster Reugees.

This is an AP article about Japan's Displaced Fukushima Disaster Survivors:

....TOMIOKA, Japan (AP) — Vines creep across Tomioka's empty streets, its prim gardens overgrown with waist-high weeds and meadow flowers. Dead cows rot where they were left to starve in their pens. Chicken coops writhe with maggots, a sickening stench hanging in the air.

This once-thriving community of 16,000 people now has a population of one.

In this nuclear no-man's land poisoned by radiation from a disaster-battered power plant, rice farmer Naoto Matsumura refuses to leave despite government orders. He says he has thought about the possibility of getting cancer but prefers to stay — with a skinny dog named Aki his constant companion.

Nearly six months after Japan's catastrophic earthquake and tsunami, the 53-year-old believes he is the only inhabitant left in this town sandwiched between the doomed Fukushima Dai-ichi nuclear power station to the north and another sprawling nuclear plant to the south.

"If I give up and leave, it's all over," he told The Associated Press. "It's my responsibility to stay. And it is my right to be here."

Matsumura is an anomaly in a country where defiance of the government is rare and social consensus counts above everything else. Yet, Matsumura's quiet civil disobedience speaks loudly of the dilemma facing the more than 100,000 silent "nuclear refugees" who were displaced by the March 11 disaster.

Tokyo was quick to establish evacuation zones around the plant but has been slow to settle the refugees. A government order forbids them from going back to their homes in a half dozen towns around Fukushima Dai-ichi that were declared off-limits after the tsunami-stricken nuclear plant started spewing radioactivity.

"We are already being forgotten," said Matsumura, a leathery but clean-cut man with the sturdy build of a farmer. "The rest of the country has moved on. They don't want to think about us."

Tomioka's city hall has been moved to a safer city in Fukushima prefecture, where thousands of its residents live in makeshift shelters. Thousands more have scattered across the country.

The town itself is sealed behind police barriers, which hide the heart of the nuclear no-go zone, an area that is officially too dangerous for human habitation.

Officers are sent into Tomioka each day to search for burglars or violators of the keep-out order. By law, anyone caught inside the zone can be detained and fined.

But authorities mostly turn a blind eye to Matsumura, though he says he has been confronted by the police a few times. If there are other holdouts, they have escaped detection.

"Some people stayed behind, some stayed with me in my house," he said. "But the last one left a few weeks ago. He asked me to take care of his cats."

Tomioka official Tomio Midorikawa, who is in charge of the town's living and environment division, said the last resident was persuaded to leave in early August — the same time Matsumura claims his neighbor left. He was not aware of Matsumura.

Without electricity or running water, Matsumura fires up a pair of old generators each night and draws his water from a local well. He eats mostly canned foods, or fish that he catches himself in a nearby river. He said that once or twice a month, he makes his way to a city outside the zone in his mini pickup truck to stock up on supplies and gas.

He has taken it upon himself to tend to the town's abandoned cats and dogs, including the wolflike Aki.

"I've gone to Tokyo a couple of times to tell the politicians why I'm here," he said. "I tell them that it was an outrage how the cows were left to die, and how important it is for someone to tend to the family graves. They don't seem to hear me. They just tell me I shouldn't be here to begin with."

Matsumura said he did leave once, but the ensuing experience only strengthened his desire to return.

"I drove to a relative's house thinking I would stay there," he said. "But she wouldn't let me in the door, she was too afraid I was contaminated. Then I went to an evacuation center, but it was full. That was enough to convince me to come home."

The tsunami disaster left nearly 21,000 people dead or missing and touched off fires, explosions and meltdowns at the Fukushima nuclear plant. The amount of radioactive cesium released into the environment since has been estimated to be equal to 168 Hiroshimas, making it the worst atomic disaster since Chernobyl.

No one — including Matsumura — is suggesting the exclusion zone be lifted altogether. The connection between radiation and cancer or other health problems is well established, and experts agree it could be decades until the nuclear zone is safe. Some point to the example of Chernobyl, which 25 years later is still mostly void of human life.

"The contaminants will be there for decades, centuries, millennia," said Timothy Mousseau, a biologist with the University of South Carolina who has studied Chernobyl for more than a decade and recently returned from a preliminary research trip to Fukushima.

Even so, local authorities are increasingly frustrated with the lack of progress toward resolving the nuclear Diaspora.

Tamotsu Baba, the mayor of Namie, a partially evacuated town near Tomioka, said in an interview it was reasonable at first for Tokyo to establish a geometric ring extending outward from the center of the plant. But he believes data collected since should be used to fine-tune the exclusion area to reflect the actual amounts of contamination.

"We have invested millions in developing a system to measure radiation," he said. "But it is like the whole thing is being decided by someone behind a desk with a 500 yen ($5) compass."

Further fanning the anger among the displaced, compensation from the government and Tokyo Electric Power Co., the utility that runs the plant, has stalled in a bureaucratic labyrinth.

Before the crisis began, the average annual income in Tomioka was about 3.5 million yen ($35,000).

Matsumura said he has received about 1 million yen ($10,000) in compensation, far less than he would have earned from selling his rice and other produce. TEPCO, reeling financially from the accident, has put off a final decision on further compensation until the plant is stabilized. The money already handed out will be subtracted from the amount it eventually settles on.

Officials say some restrictions may be lifted by the end of the year if the Fukushima reactors are brought to a stable shutdown.

Beyond that, the future remains a mystery.

"There are many tasks ahead before we will be able to return to our town, including decontamination and the rebuilding of our sewage system, roads and infrastructure," Tomioka Mayor Katsuya Endo said in a recent post on the town's website. "But we must maintain our hope, and gradually move forward."

Matsumura now likens himself to the Japanese soldiers who refused to surrender until decades after the end of World War II.

As a heavy rain began to fall, he walked down an overgrown mountain path to his rice paddy. He pulled up a plant by its roots, twisted it between his fingers then tossed it into an irrigation ditch with a resigned sigh.

There will be no cash crop this year. Or maybe ever again.

"It was strange being alone at first, but I am resolved to stay," he said. "I'm getting used to this life."

When I read this article I wanted to reach out and say, "You are not alone. I think about you everyday. And I'm not alone. We know you are between a rock and a very hard place. We just don't know what to do about it." I think halting all new construction of nuclear power plants is a good start. But that doesn't help the people left in the wake of the Tsunami that crashed into Japan this year.

Non-Reactive Akita Training - A SUCCESS!!!

2011-08-29T17:17:00.000-07:00

Today was the first time I put all of the training Coco and I have been doing with introducing her to new dogs and non-reactive training. She was amazing.

I have a neighbor with a five month old male pitbull. Coco has seen him and he has seen her. But no closeups. My neighbor and I talked about letting them get to know eachother. So with both dogs on leashes Coco and I did our first walk by. Then we walked up closer and then turn away from the new dog and kept on walking. Coco and I would walk around a little bit and then we'd go back to Bully and let them smell each other again. Once she made an umph sound and I told her to be gentle and we walked past and turned around again. We walked back and forth and Coco was completely non-reactive. After we did a few passes and they were showing signs that they liked eachother I gave her more time closer. I introduced a new command, which is one I used when I was fostering but haven't used it for awhile. I told her, "Gentle Puppy Greet." And when she was gentle I told her, "Perfect! Great puppy greet! Good gentle! Good girl!!" I used this one a lot when she was becoming friends with her Chihuahua and Toy Chihuahua buddies.

I started letting Coco stay closer to Bully with each new pass. He rolled over early on. And she bowed. And then she did this cute playful chase me move and I knew they were going to have fun together.

My neighbor was fantastic. This was a training opportunity that only happens once. After Coco has made friends then the introduction part is over. So I was making the most of having us walking near one of her favorite neighbors and being all excited to say hello and then continued walking past. Impulse control is a crucial part of our training.

Coco was perfect. She wasn't the least bit aggressive. She kept her focus on me. Whenever I stopped she sat and looked at me as if to say, what do you want to do? I wish we would have had the camera going. Next time I'll have someone taking some video so I can catch it.

She did beautifully.

We did a fundraiser over the weekend and she just laid beside me for two hours and rolled over so people could rub her belly. She charmed everyone.

There are so many places we go where Coco spreads love and gentleness around. I always knew Akitas were amazing. I did not know for sure how much they were capable of learning.

Back when I had the farm we shared our lives with our first two Akitas, among several other dogs and llamas and donkeys and dingbats. My first Akita Angel stole my heart. She was the first dog who taught me about communication. She understood that there were times when I got tired or dizzy and she took it upon herself to brace for me. She would lean into me and I would put my hands on her back and she would take me to the couch or if she thought I needed it, to bed. She did so many amazing things to help me on the farm. She was a student of behavior and she specialized in human behavior.

Bear, my second Akita had those same traits. He healed my grieving heart after Angel. He had his own personality and he was huge. He had long hair. And he too took care of me. If I was weary he would put his paw on my shoulder or knee and I knew he would keep doing this until I stopped and took a break or rested for a little while.

They were amazing animals. Truly amazing. I knew how they were wild; with a few basic obedience commands and good manners. Whether or not they would take to service dog training, I wasn't sure. Everything we learned together took longer than it would have before my brain injury. Because I only have so much energy and focus in a day. But slowly and very surely we kept moving forward. And she has done absolutely everything and then some, that I trained her to do.

There were so many times when I wondered if I'd be able to work through something. And I'd just keep at it and eventually we learned each new thing. Now Coco has put it together what I want her to do. To greet dogs gently and to stay focused on me and what we are going to do next. I think the long leash training has been a great addition to our working. With her freedom to move more and me relying more on verbal commands or casual language or sounds, she knows that I am trusting her to listen and to respond to me. And she is rising up to the challenge. Everytime she voluntarily comes to pace with me on our walk, and she steps in at a beautiful, relaxed heel,she is telling me she wants to be with me. She is enjoying our walks and our little runs in the park. I am so happy. In the next day or two I'll get some video and I'll post it.

I am so grateful to everyone in Japan who took care of these amazing creatures. They truly are a treasure. And I'm grateful for everyone who carefully bred them and who recognized them for their amazing minds and character.

I have heard it said, "Akitas aren't for everyone." I think that is true. If someone wants to dominate them or have them and not exercise them or train them, then they will have their hands full. These are brilliant animals. Intuitive and smart. They need to always have new things to work on. They love to learn and they love to work. But you have to be strong enough to put your foot down, eye to eye when you need to. If you do it right though, you'll only have to do it once. But there had better be a good reason for the correction.

I remember the first time I needed to do this with Angel. When we got our Akita we were given three sheets of paper filled with instructions. I figured it was all hype and didn't pay much attention to it. But when Angel turned about nine months old I began to understand that there was something very different about an Akita. My daughter got in her face and made growling sounds and was showing her teeth. She was just playing. But Angel interpreted this as aggressive. So she head butted her. I had never seen a dog do this before but she head butted my baby girl and no-one, not even an Angel was going to get away with doing that. So little old brain injured and not moving so great all the time Mama grabbed her up by the scruff of her neck. I opened the slider door to the back yard and I threw her outside. I yelled at her and told her, "No, Don't you ever do that!" And then I left her outside for the rest of the day and all night too. Which was really, really hard to do. She howled under my window. I wanted to give in but I knew I couldn't.

I had three teenage children back then so there were lots of people in and out of the house. Angel was good with people. She was more aloof than Bear or Coco but Angel had her favorites. In this picture she looks more like a wolf than a dog. The breeder told me she was a real throwback.

This is a picture of Angel when she was close to a year old.

The dogs napping on the couch. Both Akitas and our English Bulldog were best buddies all of their lives. You can see Mo on the couch too.

I decided to eliminate buying rawhide bones and things like that and instead gave them puppy biscuits and worked them. With a German Shepherd, Akita, English Bulldog a mixed breed and a Maltese, it was best. Here they are after dinner waiting for a little treat. All waited without moving and when I called their name they knew it was their turn and they took the treat gently. I always began and ended with Angel. But she had to wait her turn like everyone else. Bear was more relaxed. And Coco lets her Chihuahua buddies eat out of her bowl, and even take her bone right out of her mouth. When they come over I don't pick up toys, they all play. But this is always a gradual process. Introductions to new dogs needs to be gradual. I learned that when I was fostering dogs and I never experienced any trouble with any of my dogs. Once dogs are relaxed and they are sure they are not going to have to defend their food or their people or their toys, then they can get to know eachother and become friends. Then very slowly I might leave a water bowl out. When they are playing and friends inside and outside then I toss a couple of handfuls of dog food on the floor and let them eat it. I may do this several times during lots of visits before I would trust them to eat and drink and share treats. It takes as long as it takes. On the farm I always left food and water out. There were no fights, ever. I think they usually went into the kitchen and ate when the other dogs were in another room. But if they felt like eating at the same time, they did.

I remember one time when this young guy decided he was going to play the put-food-in-my-mouth and make the dog take it out of my mouth game. Akitas, and many of the large breed dogs don't like this kind of play, especially with someone they don't know. I told him this was not a good idea and to stop. Then he took her head in both his hands and forced her face up to his. She looked at me, she was shaking with restraint and I stepped in and told him to stop. Angel was so amazing. But she knew that I expected her to be non-aggressive with people, well with everything, and she lived up to it. Had I not corrected her that first time and stuck to my guns, or given her all of the love and respect and training in the years that followed, or had I given up and taken her to the pound and been too timid to correct her; I would have never known what an amazing creature I was going to share my life with.

I could write a book about all of the good things she did. And all of the good things Bear and now Coco have done. And maybe one day I'll do that. So when people say, Akitas aren't for everyone, I agree with them. But if you are willing to put in an hour a day walking them and you research and apply yourself to learn how to train this wonderful breed, you will be amazed at the relationship you will have.

Akitas are the most fair and respectful dogs I've ever shared my life with. I say this because you will never own an Akita. If you are very lucky, and you treat them with respect and fairness, you will get a glimpse into their heart and then chances are, you will be transformed by the gratitude that you feel, knowing that you have been lucky enough to share life with an Akita too. But you can't give up if you have an obstacle. You need to find a way to work through it. Because you and your Akita will have a meeting of the minds.

Akitas are hunters. They will kill a squirrel or a skunk or anything else that comes into your yard. They will make friends with a dog but that doesn't mean they are all warm and fuzzy and will make friends with all dogs, all of the time. Each introduction has to be handled carefully. And even though I have heard that they are not good with cats, all of my Akitas have lived around our cats and even had their favorites.

Bear loved Crazy Cat. She used to curl up in his big fluffy tail and nap there.

Coco loved Dinah. She used to lay her head on Dinah when they napped together.

They did not eat any of the cats. I know; I've had several cats and they all survived my Akitas. And my last two cats have out lived two of my Akitas and none of them got eaten. Not even a little bit. And none of my llamas or baby llamas or donkeys or our goat were ever harmed either. Because I set those kind of boundaries. If they were playing too rough I would yell, "Hey, not too rough. Be gentle." And all of the animals knew the rules.

Though Angel did get into my chicken coup and ate six chickens. But that'sa another story for another day.

For now, I am painting and not doing a whole lot of writing. Though lots is going on in the world I could write about, for right now, most of my world is on the canvas in front of me.

My son just sent this to me because he thought I'd get a kick out of it. I thought I'd pass it on.

Glorious Day

2011-08-26T08:43:00.000-07:00

Today is a beauty. The sun is out. There is a slight breeze. And my chores are all done.

I'm headed out to work on my canvases. I wonder what music will I listen to?

I listened to Neal Young today. Harvest and Silver and Gold.

And this is what I worked on today.

This picture isn't all that great. It looks like the sky is white and there are alot of colors in it. But these are the works in progress I worked on today.

Skunked and Training

2011-08-25T20:35:00.000-07:00

I noticed Coco had a couple of small areas on her nose that still smelled skunky. So I got out some laundry soap and distilled vinegar and dilluted it in water and got a wash cloth and sat next to Coco. She was laying down. I told her I wanted to help her and took her face in one hand and gently started to apply the soapy solution with the other. I was amazed at the way she laid the full weight of her head in my hand. I washed her nose area and all around her face and she just stayed there and let me clean her. I kept saying words she understands, like Mama's helping okay girl? Or feel better? And gave her little kisses on her nose.

So I have definitely discovered that soap alone only makes the smell worse. Adding vinegar makes a huge difference. Dilluting it is important because the smell of vinegar is pretty intense.

We had another wonderful walk today. There were quite a few people in the park. A man with a large, beautiful doberman was playing ball with him in a fenced in area. I used the opportunity to work on Coco's focus and to be a little more firm with her. I think the slight pull she does started at a time when I was weaker and I needed to address it and make sure she understood sit or down meant just that. The man saw I was working her and he waited to throw the ball and threw it in our direction so his beautifully behaved and focused doberman would run in our direction. I knew this would be a trigger for Coco so I was ready for it. She got it. And she responded quickly and with focus. I am now feeling more confident to walk closer to people with dogs that are on leashes.

I'm really loving the communication that occurs when we are using the long leash. It is very casual. Like, "Hey girl, let's go this way." Or I make a couple of clicking sounds and she'll look to see where I am. Every time, without any hesitation, she comes to me when I call her. It is so beautiful to watch her work. She has some freedom with the 33 foot leash and we can run together a little bit. And she gets this huge delighted smile on her face that fills my heart with joy just to be with her. I wish I could run more. But we are happy to be together.

Right now she is resting at my feet. Oh, and a neighbor I had just talked with about Coco getting skunked and how I got the smell off of her came over. Their dog got skunked tonight too. Guess it's that time of year.

Sit Working Service Dogs and Long Leashes

2011-08-25T13:29:00.000-07:00

A trainer told me to approach sit and down in a new way with Coco. Instead of saying sit and stay I just say sit and keep her at that unless I release her or give her another command. And to do this with all of her commands.

I've been doing this in the park. With the 8 foot lead and the 33 foot long leash. She has been doing great and I think it has made a difference in her keeping her focus. She knows she is to wait until I tell her something else. We are working on this almost everytime I let her out and we go back inside. It isn't a dominance thing, it is a reinforcing a word and actions association that we use when she is working.

I still like that she knows stay. When I an outside and I want her to stay inside I tell her, stay or your going to stay home and it is more of a relaxed stay. Which could be why it was more challenging to keep focused on stay. Now that I think about it, could be. Now there is no confusion. When I tell her to wait for me she doesn't bark again to come in the house. And when I praise her for waiting so nicely she gets such a glowing smile on her face. When I tell her to stop, she stops in her tracks now. And when I tell her the other commands she does them and waits until I say something else or release her. It's a lot easier for me too. More clear and less complicated.

Some trainers use a remote collar. But so far, the long leash has been sufficient.

Yesterday we were walking and a dog was barking at her and she looked at it once and then at me and we kept on walking. She wasn't interested. And we were doing long leash training so this was good. The criteria for a service dog is that as long as a dog or a person does not approach aggressively they are to be non-reactive. They are to keep their focus on you. Especially, with being visually impaired and having balance and processing challenges, this is crucial.

Things always take me longer than I think they will. If I could handle more I could have done all of this much faster. But the pace has suited us just fine.

It is interesting having a service dog. She is a working dog and everyday we work on training and then she helps me too. She now consistantly takes me to my car when we are finished with our walk in the park. Pretty cool. And she is always at the ready should I get temporarily blinded by a quick change of lighting or if I get dizzy from the wind. This is really great.

I used to feel so much anxiety about going places and now the only bit of anxiety comes from people and their loose dogs. In the parks around here most of the people are great. Most people who do let their dogs run call them close when another dog's approaching.

But I have found there are a lot of people who walk around, talking on their cell phones, who are oblivious to anyone around them. People with little fluffy dogs tend to be the worst. And these days, with long leashes, there really isn't any excuse for being so careless with someone else's health. A fifteen foot leash is more than most people would ever need to give their dog some freedom and still be able to bring them back, with a command or by pulling the leash in. It's just good manners. I wish they could be in my shoes for twenty seconds and feel that sense of anxiety and deciding to turn around or end my walk because someone else has decided that the center of the universe is wherever they are.

I know that sounds harsh but what they don't understand is that I don't know their dog. Neither does my service dog. If their dog comes running up to us, we don't know what is going to happen. If they are around a bend and 50 feet away I don't know if their dog will come when it is called. So when a person with disabilities is walking with their dog there is a reason why they have a service dog. No-one else needs to know why. They just need to respect that the person with a service dog needs some space. They need to know that they are being responsible dog owners.

I love it when we come across people who enjoy their dogs and leash on or off, bring them in when we need to pass them on the trail. It touches my heart that they are considerate. Consideration these days, maybe always, is highly under-rated it seems. But I always appreciate it.

Skunk Removal 101 and Laundry Afterwards

2011-08-24T12:22:00.000-07:00

After tea I got my rubber boots on and my painter's face mask, I'll do the damn thing but if you've got the right tool for the job, it would be foolish not to use it. And I got the shovel and a brown paper bag. I kept Coco in the house. And decided to dig the hole and then take the top layer of soil from where the skunk died and buried that in the hole first.

Then I put the skunk in there and covered it all. A large tree branch had come down from a lightening strike a while ago so I decided to pull that from behind the garage and place it over the freshly upturned earth. It worked. It kept Coco from wanting to dig it up. And she couldn't find the scent so I was glad about that.

So all's well that end's well. Except of course for the skunk.

Then I washed the towels and my clothes and my converse tennies and put some vinegar in the wash. After the washer cycle was over I smelled the towels and they smelled a little vinegary so I gave it a quick rinse with some fabric softener and when I pulled everything out it was clean and it smelled great. It's a hot one today so I hung everything on the line.

There is no trace of a smell in the house or on Coco or me.

The dilluted distilled vinegar and laundry soap and water and using the hose to rinse her and move the soap solution around and then rinsing her thoroughly after that, not using my hands, I think made all of the difference. I think before I used my hands to rub the soap in but I think that also rubbed some of the skunk spray into her skin too. Since Coco is my third Akita and both of my others also had encounters with skunks, I have noticed a huge difference in how effective this approach was. Even after repeated washings there was always this after smell. Especially, after it rained. And for a couple of months you could smell it just a little bit. But it's all good now.

It was so bad.

I think I'll take my girl to the park.

Coco Got Hit By A Skunk

2011-08-23T21:13:00.000-07:00

I let Coco out tonight, for one last time around the backyard. And she took a little longer than usual. So I checked on her. She didn't come when I called her. It was pitch black out and I couldn't see a thing.

But I could smell a skunk.

I came in and got my shoes on and walked back out. She came to me, reluctantly. Ears down, no eye contact and squeaking like a little mouse.

Coco may be an Akita and a mighty service dog but she is also very much a princess. She prefers hopping over puddles and she enjoys being combed.

She was hit in the face once before, about a year or so ago. So I was surprised she fell for it again. Maybe she didn't get a chance to see it before.

But oh man, this one left quite the impression on her.

I put her back out. She gladly went. Then I got my rubber boots on, natch, and armed myself with an nearly empty container of laundry soap. I always use the last of the soap that's left in the bottom before I recycle it. It's good for cleaning floors and washing down cupboards. And it's good for some emergency situations, like the one I'm facing tonight. I diluted it with distilled vinegar and filled it the rest of the way with some water. And then I took out a small container of scented oil to doused on her after her late night bath.

I tethered her to the gate and turned the hose on. She submitted but wasn't keen on it. It wasn't as nice as taking a shower in the house. But the weather's warm so it isn't that bad. I hosed her down all over several times and then poured my concoction on her. Then I used the hose to spread it around and rinsed her. Then I sprinkled some of the oil all over her and towel dried her. That towel took up the trace of what was probably left around her face. I was careful not to get too close to her eyes.

Then we came in. I had already closed the bedroom doors. And I had laid a couple of towels on the floor. I towel dried her and now she is laying on one of the fresh towels I'd spread out on the floor. She doesn't smell bad, except a little on her nose up by her eyes. I'll work on that some more with a wash cloth tomorrow.

So here is a picture on a beautiful Akita princess on a sunny day this summer.

And here is Coco after getting hit in the face by a skunk. Whew!

Well, it's a new day.
Coco smells pretty good this morning. My concoction worked so good.

Coco couldn't wait until I woke up. She kept wanting to go back outside last night. I wasn't sure if she had killed the squirrel or just wanted to make sure it didn't come back in the yard. But I was tired and had enough of the whole deal for one night. After I had a good eight hours and a fresh cuppa tea I'd see what was up.

So in the early morning light I took Coco into the backyard with her leash on her. She took me over to see the squirrel. I guess Coco hit back. After tea I'll take a refresher course on how to bury a squirrel in your backyard 101 and then I'll do the damn thing. I'm glad Coco is up-to-date with all of her shots.

I have, Singin' In the Rain's Good Morning song playing in my head. Think I'll find the video and play it.

GOOD MORNING SONG with a little Tap too
Good Morning!!!!

Onda Vaga - Spontaneous Combustion

2011-08-23T19:08:00.000-07:00
I dig this the most. Spontaneous music happening? Who needs an arena? Who needs a personna? Who needs a recording studio?

If you don't ask for money you can play for free just about anywhere.

People forget how much raw music affects them. Making that musical connection randomly, no frills, just music

That's a real blast.

We should never wait for an opportunity to be creative to open up for us? We should just be creative wherever we are. For free.

Being free to grow and develop and connect with an audience has got to be the coolest way to spend a bit of time in the day. Wouldn't it be something if music filled the streets? For free?

Word would pass so fast about the whose and whats and wheres and hows.

Spontaneous Combustion, I like it.

Will It Sun Up Enough?

2011-08-23T18:34:00.000-07:00
will it sun up enough
to put a load out on the line

is there a breeze blowing
through the tops of the trees
is it calm

clouds are towering in the distance
think I'll wait awhile

think I'll sand the rest of that bench
and maybe put a first coat on it
should I work on canvases first

think I'll take my girl for a walk
before getting focused
on the work ahead

look at that
a white streak through gray clouds
like a shelf half way up the sky
the distance is getting dark
think I'll take a video shot of this

not so long ago
a family of black birds
where having a flap and a hop
on the top of the bird bath
oh
that's the cat

why is thunder so high up in the sky
not one good bolt
like it used to be
when you heard a loud calp of thunder
and then you'd see a bright flash of light
wasn't it
count and every count stands for a mile
and that's how you could tell how far away
that lightening came from
I wonder if that really is true
I've never doubted it
it's what Grandma always said

now the rain seems to be coming from
higher up
so does the thunder
instead of distinct
beginnings and ends
there are rumblings that some times
shake the whole house
yeah
like that one right now

I should turn off the computer
but I feel like being daring today
that's such a strong steady rain
almost straight up and down

wow

looks pretty flooded out there
I shook off an ominus feeling
and let the ribbons flood my soul
flood should so be spelled flud

tap tap tap
windows open
then they close
it's your turn
to blow your nose

My Brain - Weighs Heavy On My Mind

2011-08-20T13:30:00.000-07:00
Seventeen years ago I was in a bad accident and now I have a brain injury. I wrote a book about it called, "Down the Road." And one of the things that concerned me from very early on was that my body wasn't listening to me. At first it was my balance, it was all off. And I couldn't understand why. And I was dizzy all the time. And the world was confusing. The sounds, the sunlight, everything about it was foreign to me. And right on the heels of all of that was a subtle but constant weight gain.

For years I have been telling doctors about this. And they have looked at me in disbelief, stating the obvious, the only way you can be gaining weight is by eating more calories than you burn off. And that is true.

I always ate healthy and practiced yoga for most of my life and exercised and was in good shape, even up to the time of the accident. I didn't over eat or eat junk food but I couldn't exercise and move around too good after the accident.

Even though I was active on our farm and took care of the animals, livestock, a garden and three children my daily exercise wasn't enough.

When I moved I joined a health club. And slowly, over six months, I had lost 25 pounds and I was feeling better. Then I went back to Columbia College and couldn't afford the gas or fees for a health club so I had to let that go. And slowly the weight came back on. Even though I was still eating a healthy diet and had an akita to walk everyday.

When I went to a doctor I always said that my weight was my biggest concern. Not for the sake of vanity but for the sake of being fit. I knew that over time I would have other health issues because of this and it worried me. And they would tell me the same thing, while looking at me like I was another overweight woman living in denial. I even made a report with pages of pictures with captions under them and dates when they were taken so I could show them how I'd been in shape all my life. And I took pictures of how I got back into shape after each baby and how just before and after the accident I was still small. I even took pictures of the inside of my refrigerator and cabinet to show the whole grains and foods and dried fruits and raw food I ate. I was walking my akita service dog everyday and still my weight wasn't budging.

Even though I wrote down for a year everything I ate and how I felt and how much exercise I got and made whatever adjustments I needed to in order to be healthy; things only got better when the weather was good enough that I could get out in it and walk regularly or when I could go someplace to workout. I'm limited in how far I can walk. And how much I can do. I can't walk on wet or slippery ground. I can't walk when it is snowing or raining or windy because it makes me dizzy and I'm in danger of falling and it wouldn't be good to hit my head. So even though I'm active and garden and cut the grass and keep my house clean and walk my akita Coco as much as I can, it still isn't enough.

Still this paradox continued to confuse me so I accepted that I must be doing something wrong. Because it was true that the only way I could be putting on weight or keep it on was through eating too much or not getting enough exercise.

Then I realized that now with this enlarged heart, these numbers are even more serious than they had been before because I was doing absolutley everything right. For a long time I had thought that this problem was going to lead to more health problems and probably kill me and now I am facing this, right now, like a splash of cold water waking me up.

I started wondering, maybe we are both right. Of course the doctors are right. I agree with them. But I know how I'm living and I know I'm doing all of the right things too, with very, very few exceptions. So maybe, just maybe the lens of experience that we have are different for a reason. Maybe, just maybe, my body isn't listening to me. Some where along the lines of communication, my metabolism and what I am eating and how my organs are processing it all is not receiving the messages it used to before I got this brain injury.

Like when I kept telling the doctors when light changes from dark to light, like going out of a movie theater. I would be temporarily blinded by the change of lights and the ground looked like waves of water several feet deep. So I walked all wobbly because my feet didn't know how far down the ground was. And later a special doctor did tests and found that my brain wasn't reading the area between my legs and feet, my ankles. So my feet really didn't know how far down the ground was for a reason.

And like when I complained about the blind spots in my car and then I found out that even though my eyes were capable of seeing, my brain wasn't transmitting what they were seeing in large peripheral areas. My field of vision was seriously impaired and all that time I thought, when I stepped out in front of a car in a parking lot, it was because I wasn't paying close enough attention wasn't true at all. I had extensive peripheral blindness and genuinely didn't see them. And the reason I was dizzy all of the time was because my brain wasn't able to interpret where the boundaries were in a room. So by changing the way the walls were painted and going from patterned material to solid colors and making sure to use mid-tones for contrast and avoid making patterns in a room was all I needed to do so that I wouldn't feel dizzy any more in my house. Pretty neat huh. Thank you Chicago Lighthouse!!

Back when I was going to Columbia College a doctor was doing a lot of extensive blood work on me. It was during the time I was going to the health club. And I noticed a pattern at that time too. If I had blood withdrawn right after I worked out these enzimes were way too high. And if the blood was taken before I went to work out, they were still high, but closer to the top of the normal range.

So what does the brain have to do with how we digest food? Well, I know that the hormones of cows or anything they eat or drink is passed along to their calves and to those of us who drink milk or eat cheese. There are lots of documentaries and articles written about this. And there is proof that this is also true with what mothers pass along to their babies before they are even born.

There must be some connection between how our bodies process what we are nourished by; whether it comes from our mother when we are in the womb or whether we are walking around on our own two feet. So if our brains have a part in processing what nourishes us, then maybe my brain isn't doing it the way it used to anymore.

I went back to my amazing doctor recently and we had the same discussion only this time my cholesterol was high, my triglycerides were high and I'm already on blood pressure medicine. And I know he wants to help me. He is a rare doctor who actually cares about the welfare of his patients. This time I realized that now with my enlarged heart, if I have a heart attack, I probably wouldn't make it. And if I have a stroke, well, who knows?

Then I thought, what if I had a heart attack in the middle of the night? What if no-one called me that day? What if I didn't hear from anyone for a day or two? It made me so sad to think of Coco, my akita service dog. And how worried this would make her. And I wondered if she would hurt her feet trying to dig her way through a door or window to go and get help. And the thought of this made me so sad.

Okay, so getting back to the brain injury thing. I think that what my doctors have said is absolutely right. I agree with them completely. If I was processing less calories than I burned off than I wouldn't be overweight. And I know what I am also saying is true. I know this because during the year I kept a health journal, I realized I really was eating good. I had to change very little. I eliminated bread and bought only French or Italian cheeses and used them only occassionally to drizzle a little on a salad. I stopped using cheese in my recipes. But not even changing those things made a difference.

Well, I think my brain and my metabolism and my processing food stimuli have been affected by something that used to work perfectly before.

Once again I have high cholesterol and high triglycerides and I'm on blood pressure medicine and I have an enlarged heart. So just maybe my body really isn't listening to itself like it used to?

I used to think, not being able to get regular exercise is going to create complications that are probably going to kill me. And now I think that is true more than ever. I mean, by the time I can earn enough from selling my books to get a membership to workout somewhere close by I might be dead. How about that Catch 22?

My Brain - All Things Must Pass

2011-08-20T13:27:00.000-07:00
So all of this thinking made me realize that I really needed to have access to health equipment so I could exercise and maybe live a few more years. Which I would enjoy. I have an art book I'd like to finish and I'd like to be able to put my writings into a collection piece of poetry, prose and essays, already written.

And if I never write another thing or paint another painting then I still feel like I have done every thing I knew how to live a purposeful life. To live a life worth living, that I was totally engaged in doing. Usually, I'm upbeat and doing pretty good.

But the thought hit me, maybe these numbers and my heart, maybe this is an indication that all of my best efforts in the past have been fruitless because what I am saying is true for me and what is true generally speaking are yes, the same but the lens, the perception of these things isn't consistent with the way my brain works since the accident. And that is also the truth.

The kicker is that, "Down the Road," is available through Amazon and we have a modest beginning ahead of us. Coco, my service dog and I will be doing speaking engagements and book signings and so maybe I will be able to afford to go to the gym. And maybe I'll make it that long and maybe I won't.

So now I'm starting to get depressed and self-pity begins to flood my thoughts. All my life the best that I could do was never good enough. And as little bits of memory or sense of what I experienced in life surfaced, I began to make an account of all of the times life itself seemed to be going against me.

We moved from the south and even though I had been a good student and my IQ tested out pretty good, I was still about two years academically behind my new peers. I felt stupid and preferred to keep my mouth shut. I wanted to disappear and hoped against all hope that the teacher would forget about me and not call on me, because I was totally lost.

The kids were working on multiplying and dividing fractions this year and I didn't even know what a fraction was. And at the same time I started studying the Teachings of Confucious, thank you Grandma. The Shakespere and poetry Grandma read to me gave me a sense of ease when it came to the written word. And I saw it as something beautiful. It wasn't a surprise to anyone that what my earliest beginnings were, painting a mural on my childhood freshly painted pink wall. Or whether it was writing my first poem in symbols that vaguely looked like letters on a page in my favorite Robert Frost book. I just got the book out and flipped through the pages to find out which poem I felt compelled to write on, would it be significant or random? The poem it called, "Departmental". And I thought, how ironic.

In my early tweens and teens I started learning latin from Grandma. And we leraned how to do chores and help out around the house. Structure and home cooked food country style with great smelling stews and soups and farm fresh vegetables was what we ate every summer. We spent summers with our grandparents out in the country in Michigan. Which is why I have always loved Michigan so much. I miss it now.

Anyway, the summers became quiet times of walks and visiting neighbors and fishing and being home for meals and learning all about life from Grandma, who never held back what she was thinking. Which drove a few people crazy but I admired her for it. As the summers passed we studied Emerson and Einstein and great poets like Walt Whitman and Robert Frost and Edgar Alan Poe and Sandburg. And we also read books that all kinds of philosophers like Buddha and Ghandi and Fromm Sandburg had written. And these things to think about came into my awareness. And they gave me peace of mind. It was a turbulent time back in the sixties. And a lot of it wasn't pretty. There was a lot of hatred and ignorance we were facing, in all kinds of ways.

So no matter how lost I felt in life; some how it was comforting to know that I wasn't alone in this experience. This was very much a part of the human experience in general. Regardless, of income status, achievements, intelligence, beauty or fitness everyone at some time feels alone in a crowd and lost though they know exactly where they are going. So feeling lost was something I had been familiar with in many different ways, throughout my life.

My interests were typically assigned to men. I loved writing poetry and stories and drawing and singing and playing the piano. But in museums I had seen there weren't many women included in their exhibits. I could rattle off Picaso and Renoir and Monet and DaVinci and countless others but at that time I did not know of any females who were artists or sculptors. So early on I assumed that I would never be a great artist. My work would never be in a gallery or in a museum some where. I never identified the possibility that I could devote my life to this passion and have something come out of it at that time. And in fact, that is mostly what I've experienced up till now.

And I accepted that the only famous, talented, amazing writers were all men. I had read everything these authors had written(more than once): Shakespere, Hemingway, Steinbeck, Fitzgerald and Tennessee Williams. All of the great writers were clearly men. Even the writers who were a little older than me but my contemporaries were all men. I wasn't aware of one female who had been a writer - not then anyway.

There were a few females who were singer-song writers that had inspired me early on but serious composers? They were all men.

And cabinet makers and wood workers and sculptors or rabbi's and tibetan monks, they were all men too.

Everything that I enjoyed about life, was good at and was interested in was all well and good for men but not for women. That was a long time ago. And it turned out there were a few females who were remarkable writers like Dickinson and Woolf and there was a great female artist, Marie Cassatt who had beautiful paintings in the Art Institute. But I hadn't discovered her yet. All that being said, it was a man's world back then. And judging by the ratio of men to women that win awards and grants, it's still pretty much the same way.

The cool thing that came out of all of this was that though I felt at a loss in many ways, I also gained a sense of determination and elation everytime I wrote something or painted something I knew, was good because I knew it was all mine. Even if I was a woman. My work, whether it was writing or painting, was random and expressed something that was perplexing me about life. My work was like my happy place when the world got to be too much. Or when the world was just fine and it was the "me" focus that had gotten to be too much. Either way, my refuge and love throughout all of my life has been and continues to be found in the written word and on a sheet of paper or a canvas.

Okay, so now this whole body mind and weight thing that is starting to weigh on me. What would happen if I died? Would I lay on the floor for a couple of days before anyone would call? Would it be longer? What would my Akita do? Would she hurt her feet trying to dig through a door to get out and get some help? And this whole thought process was like digging in for the big one. A sadness took hold of me and filled every pore of my being. It felt like even the room grew dimmer.

I got my paints out and looked through my albums and thought, I am going to play some George Harrison, yes, "All Things Must Pass". And I turned it on. It was too dark for me to see what the title or side of the ablum set I had taken out of its sleve. Every side of the three album series was excellent. The music was so amazingly in tune with my exact frame of mind. And George's words washed over me and I began to remember that life is to be appreciated. Every minute. No matter what you are facing. And that whether you are taking a look at your own mortality or purpose, remember, to appreciate this rare moment. Because we can't hold onto it forever.

The first song on side 3 is "Beware of Darkness".
Excerpt of lyrics... Here is the video of George Harrison and Leon Russell performing Beware of Darkness...

"Watch out now, take care beware
the thoughts that linger
winding up inside your head--
The hopelessness around you
in the dead of night
Beware of sadness

It can hit you; it can hurt you --
Make you sore and what is more, that is
not what you are here for..."

And peace washed over me with this summer thunder storm.
And the refreshing rains of knowing
that "All things must pass, all things must pass away..."
is a challenging lens to see life through sometimes
but this is also so true.

Here is a video of the tribute to George Harrison. His son is playing guitar with Paul McCartney and Eric Clapton and Ringo is at the drums. There are lots of wonderful musicians playing.

I guess dreams will come and they will go. Life can be damn rough and disappointing. And it can be surprising and wonderful and fill you with a sense of awe that can make you grateful for all of it. And all of it is temporary. We can't make it last any longer than our bodies will allow. But to love and to be loved, that's what has made it all worth it.

I remember when my second akita Bear died. I grieved so. Just like I grieved over Angel, my first akita. And I thought, this is so silly. You know energy, life, it is connected and always moving. There is no beginning and there is no end. So why are you suffering so? I'd wake up out of a sound sleep and just want him there. And sob and like a little baby just wanting him back. And in time I realized that it didn't matter if he was here to love. Because I would always love him.

Through the years I had grown to understand that love is an amazing continuum all its own. Whether I was loved in return or understood or was far away, or someone dear to me had died; love was the thread that had woven every meaningful moment together. Every experience was the touchstone that made my heart want to go on beating. So instead of missing those who had passed or suffering loss I just loved them still. The only thing I miss is the physical part, like being able to hear someone's voice on the phone. But love transcends all pain and loss into something profoundly beautiful.

I'm glad for every new day to experience it. And when I am no longer, it won't matter. Because I lived and loved to my fullest and that has made all of the difference.

But Is It Good Enough?

2011-08-20T10:05:00.000-07:00
I got to wondering if what we think is our best, is ever good enough?

There is always going to be some one else who has higher standards or expectations of how you should live and what you should do. Always. As sure as there is always going to be someone who has more than you and someone who has less.

I have long since stopped allowing these standards to keep me from appreciating life and feeling joy. Because most of these are self-emposed.

And I decided I wasn't interested in living up to one's low expectations of who I was or what I could do or even, if any of it was worth anything to anyone. All of this thinking is making me woozy.

Nevertheless, I could have a heart attack and keel over at this desk and what will it have all been worth? Will my life have been worthwhile to anyone? Well, gladly, the answer is yes. To my family every bit of our lives has been a worthwhile gift that we have shared together. And to me? Well, it got a lot more interesting when I became truly engaged in it. Oh this was a process. It took most of my life to understand. And there is still so much yet to know.

But have I learned anything worth passing on? And I think, there have always been great thinkers, great writers and artists and musicians. Life is like this moving sea. It is always moving. All around and through us. So if I have lived to my best hope for this moment, for this day, than this life has been worthwhile to me. This whole great big life and my tiny interaction with it has been wonderfully worthwhile.

And this is why I keep painting and writing. It is my life and the way I life it and express all that I think and feel and see. And it may not ever matter in the great scheme of things. But it matters to the people I love. And I enjoy the peace and quiet best. The being able to rest in a moment and create some thing that wasn't there before. And I truly love that.

I have been writing off and on all day. And finishing up what I thought was a finished painting. Now I love her and I will no longer try to improve her with one more stroke. I take better pictures until I get one that has good color and the right light on it. But here it is....

Yes, my life is pretty solitary and I like it that way. I find great friendship with these trees outside my window. I think they have always given me comfort though the windows have changed.

Here are Two New Paintings

2011-08-15T09:46:00.000-07:00
This is Ribbons. The idea of it came from this moment that my mind falls into some times. I wrote about it in my book, "Down the Road."

"after the accident
except for the loud brain noise
that never went away
my mind was
quiet
i had been shaken
and all of the thoughts
life lessons and memories were
like these brightly colored ribbons
unraveled
cut away
without end
moving through complete darkness"

And this is Gift Giver. This is the most recent painting in my Faces of a Woman Series. It was inspired by a woman who is an amazing humanitarian. There seems to be a rare few people who are aware or awake while they are living. Rarer still are the one's who look around and see the suffering of others and decide to do something about it. The person who inspired this painting is such a person. She is not a saint or a martyr. She is a compassionate person who truly thinks about others and tries to figure out if there is some way to help them. Some small ray of hope that encourages her to help those who have been tortured and left for dead or worse, because they are regarded as having no value.

It has been a busy month. Lots of wonderful company and good times and laughter around the table. And a little work too.

Wigglers Ladybugs Wolf Spiders and Toads

2011-08-10T05:29:00.000-07:00
I woke up around 4 this morning with cramps in my legs. My heart was racing. I was awakened during one of those escaping dreams. Trying to get away and trying to move my legs so they would stop cramping. I got up to walk around and smelled something different in the house.

Coco wanted outside and I really smelled it there. It was a sort of sweet and acidic smell. Nothing familiar to it comes to mind. My heart was racing. Probably because of the dream.

I came in the house and smelled the same thing, faintly. So I decided to turn off the air conditioner.

And all of this made me wonder yet again, are there toxins being released into the environment that couldn't be released during the day time when more people would notice it?

There have been times when during the wee hours, I've smelled what seemed like pesticides. And there have been other times when there was a strong scent of burning plastic in the air.

Since there is a huge lab a few miles away and a landfill a little further away, putting these together as a sort of hmmmm.

I decided not to try to go back to sleep and made my bed and turned on the remainder of some coffee we had with company yesterday. A rare treat, I don't drink it often anymore.

And as I watched the sun begin to lighten the sky and peek its way through the fullness of green framed by my windows I started thinking, there are a few things I haven't seen this year.

For the past ten years I've been noticing an increasingly lower number of spiders. Wolf spiders in particular but all kinds of spiders have become fewer and fewer. And no toads or ladybugs at all this year. There used to be these wonderfully cherry red ladybugs. And then suddenly there were orange ones and these seemed to bite. They were everywhere. But I haven't seen any this year. Not a one.

And then we got these beetles that were burrowing under the barks of the trees, especially the elm and ash trees. And by last summer's end, these skinless trees were scattered everywhere. They quickly died and the shells of their former glory were left to stand as a stark reminder that our environment is fragile.

I remember always seeing Wolf spiders outside. And there would always be a few in the basement. I was never keen on them being in the house. And over the past few years I have noticed their decline. But this year I haven't even seen one of them. No ladybugs, red or orange, either. And no long earthworms after the rain. We have had so much rain this year. And it dawned on me, ten years ago when it rained, earth worms would cover the driveway. Some were quite long. Like baby snakes; some a foot long, maybe even a little longer. And this year, with so much rain it just struck me, I haven't seen any.

The birds have been having all kinds of fun flicking through the remnants of my leafy beds in the yard after a rain. And when I did my planting this year I did see earthworms. But no long wigglers or wigglers or any kind on my driveway or on the pathway to my front door either. Nary a one.

The geese have dwindled down so I can't remember the last time I saw a flock of them gather and form a "W" in the sky. I have only seen a very few Bluejays in the past ten years. And fewer fruit brown bats and crows every year.

I haven't got any answers. These are just observations.

I have been experimenting with my flower and ornamental bushes and trees planting beds. When I was a young girl my grandmother, whose family were poor dirt farmers, used to teach me how to pick certain areas of the hill and throw vegetable ends and berries in sunny spots and of course, coffee grounds in another spot so we would have lots of Tiger Lilies and earthworms when we wanted to go fishing.

Keeping with this idea I decided to do the same thing. Whenever I had a really great tasting (with seeds thank you very much) piece of fruit or a vegetable, I'd throw the ends of it or the last mushy berries in another sunny area and see what happened. My front yard has huge areas of strawberries everywhere and now I have two very healthy blackberry bushes. I'm going to relocated them to a nice sunny area in the fall and place rocks around them so they don't take over the yard. I love the idea of having a large berry patch to give the birds a place to hide from predators. And to have fresh berries, warmed by the sun, what could be better?

Now I've got potatoes growing and sprawling out in one area and zucini and yellow squash, carrots and onion and garlic in other areas. I decided not to harvest anything this year and see what comes up naturally next spring. I love the idea of mixing things up. Doing some intentional planting along with some random, let's see what happens kind of edibles in with my flowers and flowering bushes and trees.

My goal is to have a front yard filled with berry bushes, strawberries, veggies and my next project is to get some cherry trees going.

Instead of mowing the lawn I'd rather weed and use herbs and berries as ground coverings and watch other crops take on a life of their own. I guess you can take the farmer out of the country but you can't take the country out of the farmer. Here I am, once again, developing and encouraging an organic farm to flourish on this plot of land.

Recall Results August 9, 2011

2011-08-10T04:43:00.000-07:00
WASHINGTON -- Democrats won two Wisconsin state Senate seats in Tuesday's dramatic recall elections, but they fell short of the three needed to take the majority away from Republicans.

Six incumbent GOP state senators were forced to defend their seats on Tuesday in historic recall elections. The efforts to change the makeup of the state Senate came after Republicans passed Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker's (R) controversial measure stripping public employees of their collective bargaining rights.

Even though Democrats weren't able to take back one of the chambers of the legislature, they touted the fact that voters ousted two incumbent Republicans as a major victory.

"The fact we've accomplished as much in six months as had been achieved in the 85 years since recalls were put in the Wisconsin state Constitution is a stunning rebuke to Scott Walker's extreme attacks on middle class working families," said Kelly Steele, spokesman for the labor-backed coalition We Are Wisconsin.

"On Tuesday night, Wisconsin spoke loud and clear with the recall of two entrenched Republicans. ... The fact of the matter remains, that, fighting on Republican turf, we have begun the work of stopping the Scott Walker agenda," said Democratic Party Chair Mike Tate in a statement.

State Sen. Tim Cullen (D-Janesville) told The Huffington Post earlier on Tuesday that losing two seats would be a "wake-up call to Republicans."

"It creates a 17-16 Senate," he explained. "That means they have no margin of error. They've got to have legislation that all 17 Republicans, without exception, are for."

The first three wins of the night were good news for Republicans: Sens. Robert Cowles (R-Allouez), Sheila Harsdorf (R-River Falls) and Luther Olsen (R-Ripon) all held on to their seats.

"I think the voters in northwest Wisconsin and in the 10th Senate district have spoken once again to recognize that Wisconsin's on the right track, they want us to get our fiscal track in order, and they want us to grow jobs," said Harsdorf in a post-win interview with WQOW in Eau Claire. "And they recognize the reforms that we've passed are beginning to work, and we have led the nation in changing how government operates."

Democratic challenger Jennifer Shilling then beat incumbent state Sen. Dan Kapanke (R-La Crosse), who was considered the most vulnerable candidate because of the large Democratic presence in his district.

In one of the most interesting races of the night, Democrat Jessica King beat state Sen. Randy Hopper (R-Fond du Lac). It was déjà vu for the voters in the district: In 2008, King and Hopper also ran against each other, but in that contest, Hopper beat his opponent by just 163 votes.

The final race of the night wasn't called until after midnight, due in part to late results from Waukesha County, whose clerk, Kathy Nickolaus, botched the results in the state Supreme Court race in April. State Sen. Alberta Darling (R-River Hills) managed to hold on to her seat.

Tate accused Nickolaus -- who has a long history of errors -- of "tampering with the results," although he later backed down and said the party "will not pursue questions of irregularities."

It's unlikely that Tuesday's results will stamp out Democratic enthusiasm for recalling Walker when he becomes eligible in January. Additionally, next year will bring a new round of lawmakers who weren't eligible for recall this year.

Assembly Minority Leader Rep. Peter Barca (D-Kenosha) said it will be interesting to watch not only how Walker reacts to losing two GOP members in the state Senate, but where the citizens of Wisconsin take the movement next.

"I keep reminding people, it wasn't the legislature that started these recalls," said Barca. "These were people across the state who just showed up in throngs and were very upset with the policies that were trying to roll back the clock on Wisconsin values -- 50 years of collective bargaining, 40 years with the University of Wisconsin system, 30 years of women's health, 70 years of environmental policies like recycling and clean water. This is a citizens' movement, not a politicians' movement."

After the election results came in, Walker put out a statement saying that it was "clear the voters also want us to work together to grow jobs and improve our state."

"With that in mind, earlier this evening I reached out to the leadership of both the Republicans and Democrats in the Assembly and State Senate. I shared with them that I believe we can work together to grow jobs and improve our state. In the days ahead I look forward to working with legislators of all parties to grow jobs for Wisconsin and move our state forward," he said.

Three Democrats -- part of the "Wisconsin 14" who left the state for 21 days in order to delay their GOP colleagues from pushing through the bill -- also faced recall elections.

State Sen. Dave Hansen (D-Green Bay) handily won his reelection on July 19. Sens. Jim Holperin (D-Conover) and Robert Wirch (D-Pleasant Prairie) will face off against their challengers next week.

"I'm out doing the same things I've done every day for the past four or five months," said Holperin on Tuesday afternoon, "and that's attending community events and going door to door, and participating in various civic organizations' meetings about the race."

Wisconsin AFL-CIO President Phil Neuenfeldt said that while there is always a significant focus on elections -- and labor certainly invested heavily to win -- the results won't change the labor movement's focus.

"We're trying to build an economy that works for working families, that gives people the right to collectively bargain, that gives people the right to have a fair system of shared sacrifice, shared prosperity, and so on and so forth," he said. "So we will continue to organize, we will continue to build a coalition, whether we win or lose. It would be silly to win the election and figure, well, we're done."

Recalls in Wisconsin - YES!!

2011-08-09T18:43:00.000-07:00
..MADISON, Wis. (AP) — Six Wisconsin senators targeted by a recall election fought to keep their jobs Tuesday, trying to beat back Democratic challengers who stoked a backlash against Republicans and Gov. Scott Walker for their efforts to strip public employees of most union rights.

Turnout was strong in the morning and steady in the afternoon in communities like Whitefish Bay, Menomonee Falls and Shorewood, where Sen. Alberta Darling was one of six Republicans trying to hold onto her seat.

Tony Spencer, a 36-year-old laid-off carpenter from Shorewood, voted for Darling's challenger, Democratic state Rep. Sandy Pasch.

Besides the six Republicans on Tuesday's ballot, two Democratic incumbents face recalls next week. A third Democrat survived a recall attempt last month.

Republicans hold a 19-14 advantage in the Senate, so Democrats need to win five of the eight elections to take control.

If the Democrats win only one or two on Tuesday, they cannot take control. If they win three or four, control hinges on the outcome of next week's recalls. If they win at least five, they will take control of the Senate no matter what happens next week.

Until this year, there had been only 20 attempts since 1913 to recall any of the nation's state lawmakers from office. Just 13 of the efforts were successful.

The stakes in Wisconsin were clearly much larger than control of the Senate. The recall election will also help determine whether the Republican revolution led by Walker regains momentum or suffers a major setback. Both parties also were testing messages ahead of the 2012 presidential race, in which Wisconsin was expected to be an important swing state.

Republican and Democratic strategists were leery of reading too much into the results heading into next year's campaign.

The recall effort helped stir passions in the Democratic base "in ways we might never have been able to achieve on our own," said Roy Temple, a Democratic political consultant with extensive experience in the Midwest. But, he said, that doesn't mean the recall can offer much more than hints about broader trends.

"Wisconsin was a swing state before, and it will be after," Temple said. "Maybe (the recall) is a sign of strong intensity, and that's not meaningless, but it's not predictive."

Republican National Committee Chairman Reince Priebus said the party was "all in" to win the races. A coalition of national unions spent millions on attack ads and other campaign activity to wrest seats from the Republicans. Conservative groups also spent millions.

It all amounted to a summer unlike any other in Wisconsin. More than $31 million was estimated to have been spent on the nine recall efforts, rivaling the $37 million spent on last year's governor's race.

Republicans won control of both houses of the Legislature and the governor's office in the 2010 election just nine months ago.

The Legislature that had been approving Republican-backed bills in rapid succession will likely grind to a halt if Democrats win back the Senate. They would then be able to block anything from passage without a bipartisan agreement.

Any newly elected senator will take office within 15 days, a brief window in which Republican Senate leaders could call a lame-duck session if they are about to lose control.

The five other Republican incumbents facing recalls on Tuesday are Sens. Randy Hopper of Fond du Lac, Luther Olsen of Ripon, Sheila Harsdorf of River Falls, Rob Cowles of Allouez and Dan Kapanke of La Crosse.

The races next Tuesday target Sens. Bob Wirch of Pleasant Prairie and Jim Holperin of Conover.

___

Associated Press writers Colin Fly in Menomonee Falls, Wis., Marilynn Marchione in Whitefish Bay, Wis., and Henry C. Jackson in Washington, D.C., contributed to this report.

..

Gift Giver and a Calm Day

2011-08-06T17:08:00.000-07:00
We had visitors in from out of town. I made the old fashioned country breakfast they used to love on Saturday mornings. We had such a good time sitting around the table and laughing about the shenanigans we got up to back then.

Then my daughter and I painted the rest of the day. It is so nice to listen to music and just escape into a canvas. Where life's elements are touched and expressed at the end of one's brush.

I don't have anything earth shattering to share.

I read the banks changed the debt rating of the USA to we aren't AAA or AAAA or whatever big shots who have tons of money and who borrow tons of money are allowed to have before those loaning them money start wanting to make sure they are going to get their money paid back.

Of course the little guy has been putting up with high interest rates and impossible conditions that keep spinning them into more debt for many years. Now maybe the government will understand what everyone else has been experiencing.

It isn't all of the bank's fault. The laziness, consumerism and thoughtless wastefulness and buying of crap and not living below our means so we can afford to save for an emergency or something special, all had a role to play in our economic woes.

I think the cost of oil has made the biggest difference. It tends to be what stops everything else from growing. It only proves more and more how we need to get on with producing individual solar and wind power for our homes. And find alternative ways to get back and forth to work or wherever. It only makes sense that we do this now. Crude oil is a finite resource.

One step at a time and the rudder will steer things in a different direction. It takes buying less crap, conserving and saving up for a solar panel or wind turbine or low mileage car to avoid the huge iceberg facing us.

I never think what we are facing is hopeless or impossible. I do stop to smell the roses and enjoy a summer breeze. After all, life is too short to take it so seriously we forget how to appreciate the moment we are experiencing right now.

And this is a good one.

Keith Medley and his 27 String Guitar

2011-08-03T14:31:00.000-07:00
This man is amazing. And the sounds from his 27-string guitar blows me away.

Enjoy "Ancestors."

Wednesday - Focused

2011-08-03T09:09:00.000-07:00
It is so strange. What happens to me after an event of any kind. It doesn't matter if is a happy occassion or a sad one. It doesn't matter if it is laughter or the sounds of feet walking and the glare of florescent lights. What causes my brain going into neutral varies slightly. I can go to the grocery store when there aren't many people there on a partly cloudy day and get home and after a little break, paint or write. But if there is any confusion or if it is real sunny and windy and I forgot my wrap around glasses and ear plugs then I could be out of focus for hours, maybe until the next day.

It's like my brain goes into neutral. At first I am unaware of it. I may nap, which I rarely do. Or the canvas I was so excited to work on get neglected for a day or two. It often happens after a speaking engagement. I can have a great experience and meet delightful people and be so happy. And then get home and in a little while this blankness comes into my head, like an unwelcomed guest and it stays there. After awhile I remember oh, this happens after a busy day or an event. Nothing to worry about. But it always scares me. I'm always afraid that I will get lost in that nothingness and not find my way back.

What is cool is how Coco adapts to these lulls in focus and energy. She leans up against me or lays across my feet and just stays with me. Usually, we take at least one nice long walk and on a good day we even take two. She's a good strong three year old akita. She needs the exercise, we both do. But the way she just goes with the flow is so wonderful. Right now she is laying across my feet.

Well!! Today I am back in focus and it feels great. I'm about ready to get to my canvases and hope to have a good day of work ahead. After I spoil Coco and we go for a walk.

Monday Monday and its Tuesday

2011-08-02T16:46:00.000-07:00
Monday was a delightful day. Coco and I did a fundraiser for United Way. And I met some wonderful people and enjoyed the continuing friendship with a couple of people I work with through United Way and the Ray Graham Association.

I was looking forward to painting but when I got home I was tired. Which often happens after I've been to an event. I even napped which I hardly ever do. And now late Tuesday, I'm still not quite awake.

These lulls that happen some times, they always scare me a little. I'm always afraid my mind will slip back into that nothingness that has challenged me since the brain injury and I won't find my way back.

Some times I just need to remember that when my focus is waning, its just for awhile. And I just need to go with it and relax until it comes back. Regardless of my expectations, reality has a way of tempering all of that every now and then.

Coco is such a comfort during days like these. For an akita it is amazing how content she can be curled up at my feet. I think she knows when I'm not doing well. Usually, we go for walks at least once a day. It is so sweet the way she lays right up against my legs or feet on days like these.

I wish there was a way to keep this from happening. But it is a sacrifice for having a life worth living. It isn't brought on by anything bad or sad happening. Yesterday was a wonderful day. I even remembered to put in my ear plugs to lessen the echoing and sounds. It's just going in and out of the sun and voices and processing that my brain does for a little bit of time and then it just slows down and gets stuck for awhile in neutral.

We are supposed to have severe thunderstorms tonight. It's so strange. When Coco and I went to the grocery store today there was a little breeze and it was sunny and muggy and hot. For the last two hours it has been remarkably still. No leaves moving, nothing. The calm before the storm.

It feels good to write again.

News Corp Scandal Continues to Grow

2011-08-02T10:44:00.000-07:00
Article: Murdoch's papers vary on News Corp scandal coverage
Reuters - Fri, Jul 8, 2011

....LONDON (Reuters) - Police arrested David Cameron's former spokesman on Friday over the scandal that has shut down Rupert Murdoch's News of the World, forcing the prime minister to defend his judgment while promising new controls on the British press.

As Cameron fielded hostile questions over why he had hired the paper's former editor Andy Coulson in 2007, despite knowing that one of his journalists had been jailed for hacking into voicemails in search of scoops, Coulson was being arrested by police on suspicion of conspiring in the illegal practice.

Cameron said he took "full responsibility" for his decision to appoint Coulson, who quit Downing Street in January when police relaunched inquiries. But the premier rebuffed criticism and strove to spread the blame for an affair that has generated public outrage against the press, politicians and police.

"Murder victims, terrorist victims, families who have lost loved ones in war..." he said: "That these people could have had their phones hacked into in order to generate stories for a newspaper is simply disgusting."

So widespread was the rot, Cameron told an emergency news conference after Murdoch dramatically shut down his best-selling Sunday paper, that only a completely new system of media regulation and a full public inquiry into what went wrong over a decade at News of the World and beyond would meet public demand.

"This scandal is not just about some journalists on one newspaper," Cameron said. "It's not even just about the press. It's also about the police. And, yes, it's also about how politics works and politicians too."

Underlining the seriousness of the threat facing Murdoch's empire, the Financial Times newspaper reported that the media baron would fly to London to handle the crisis. A spokeswoman for Murdoch's News International company declined to comment.

Other newspapers, to be published on Saturday, claimed that at least one executive at the company may have deleted millions of emails related to police investigations into phone hacking, a charge the spokeswoman said was "rubbish."

"We are cooperating actively with police and have not destroyed evidence," she said.

In a sign of spreading fallout, police said they had arrested a 63-year-old man in Surrey in southern England over allegations of inappropriate payments to police. A police spokesman said the man was not a serving policeman.

News of the World and other newspapers have been accused of paying the police for information.

Police also raided another tabloid, the Daily Star, earlier on Friday over allegations of phone hacking.

PRESS BARONS' GRIP

While defending himself for hiring Coulson, Cameron said politicians of all parties had been in thrall to press barons for decades. He indicated a new assertiveness toward the Murdoch empire by withholding overt endorsement of News Corp's controversial bid for British broadcaster BSkyB.

Shares in the pay-TV chain fell 7.6 percent after the media ministry also said it would take events at the News of the World into account before giving its approval to the takeover. News Corp shares in New York lost around 4 percent.

Cameron's opponents on the left want to block the $22-billion bid for the 61 percent of BSkyB that he does not already own on the grounds it would give Murdoch too much political clout. The day's events created new uncertainties for investors who had welcomed the government earlier giving its blessing.

In a mark of the drama of larger-than-life personalities at play, Cameron also criticized his friend and neighbor Rebekah Brooks, Coulson's predecessor as editor and now a top executive and confidante of Murdoch. She should have resigned herself, he said, after closing down the newspaper at a cost of 200 jobs.

Cameron told reporters he had heard that Brooks offered her resignation. "I would have taken it," he said.

BROOKS' "TOXIC" BRAND

Journalists putting together the final edition of the 168-year-old title, Britain's biggest-selling Sunday paper, had an emotional, sometimes angry, meeting with Brooks, who told them, according to a staffer who was present, that the News of the World brand had become "toxic." Advertisers and readers baled out following allegations this week of serial phone hacking.

But the 43-year-old, whose mane of red hair, sharp wit and seemingly charmed relationship with the 80-year-old Australian-born media mogul have long made her an object of fascination for fellow tabloid journalists, made clear she was staying on to manage News International, Murdoch's British newspaper arm.

Brooks denied the company, which many assume will soon fill the gap left by the News of the World by extending publication of the Sun daily to Sundays, was simply combining a useful cost-saving measure with a theatrical attempt to remove a threat to its expansion in television.

She has denied knowing that journalists on the paper were hacking the voicemails of possibly thousands of people. But she has become the focus of anger among the 200 News of the World staff sacked by Murdoch's son James with little ceremony.

There was "seething anger" and "pure hatred" directed toward her, one reporter said: "We think they're closing down a whole newspaper just to protect one woman's job."

Fellow journalists saluted the end of a venerable, muckraking title: "Hacked To Death" headlined Murdoch's own Times. "Paper That Died Of Shame" said the tabloid Daily Mail.

CAMERON ON DEFENSIVE

Cameron, who worked in public relations before being elected, faced his stiffest questioning over his association with Coulson, 43. He was hired to bring a feel for what grass-roots electors wanted to hear from the wealthy Cameron and his privately-educated fellow Conservative leaders.

"Very bad things had happened at the News of the World. He had resigned. I gave him a second chance," Cameron said of hiring Coulson in 2007. "I wasn't given any specific sort of actionable information about Andy Coulson."

Critics pointed out that many British journalists doubted Coulson's assertions that he, as News of the World editor from 2003, had known nothing of the hacking of phones used by aides to Prince William -- for which the paper's royal correspondent Clive Goodman and a private detective were jailed in 2007.

"I thought we had a prime minister today who showed he doesn't get it. He doesn't get it over BSkyB," said Miliband, who wants the bid blocked. "He also doesn't get it on Andy Coulson ... He's got to come clean and he has got to apologize."

Alan Rusbridger, editor of the left-leaning Guardian which has campaigned to expose more of the scandal, told Reuters Cameron could be faulted on Coulson: "I just wonder what vetting process was done. I think it shows extremely poor judgment."

Nonetheless, with probably nearly four years until a general election, the pain for Cameron may well be limited.

"It will damage him, but it won't sink him," said Tim Bale, professor of politics at the University of Sussex. "I think the Conservative Party will rally round him but he has been damaged and his judgment has been called into question."

Andrew Russell, senior lecturer in politics at Manchester University, said the normally confident Cameron looked awkward when questioned about Coulson: "He seemed to have a slippage of authority, he seemed rather uncomfortable," he said, but adding it was not a "Nixon and Watergate" moment for his leadership.

PRESS REGULATION

Miliband, and Cameron's Liberal Democrat deputy prime minister, Nick Clegg, offered broadly similar prescriptions for addressing what many Britons believe is a tabloid press out of control in its readiness to invade other people's privacy.

But media and civil liberties groups will resist efforts to impose regulation they believe would curb free speech or thwart scrutiny of corruption and hypocrisy.

Cameron said a system under which publishers supervise their own code of conduct must be tightened. He said an independent panel could start work within months -- much sooner than the public inquiry which must wait for the end of the police case -- and that it must be free to draft its own proposals.

The police also face tough questions over why an initial investigation into phone hacking was closed after Goodman was jailed in 2007. Detectives are also now looking into payments, in the tens of thousands of pounds, by journalists to police.

Coulson, suspected of conspiring to intercept communications and also of corruption, was bailed until October after nine hours at a south London police station.

Asked if he was being made a scapegoat for the hacking scandal, Coulson told reporters: "I'm afraid I can't say any more at this stage. There's a lot I'd like to say, but I can't."

His former colleague Goodman was re-arrested on Friday, police said, also to answer questions about alleged payments to police officers.

Cameron, trying to strike a balance between accepting his share of responsibility and sharing out blame to his opponents, said Labour, in power with the endorsement of some of the Murdoch press for 13 years, should not seek to make electoral capital out of the issue.

Several other journalists have been arrested in recent weeks as police pursue inquiries, much of them based on the files of the private investigator jailed with Goodman four years ago. Police say the files contain some 4,000 names.

The scandal took on devastating proportions for Murdoch this week with the leak of an allegation that a News of the World investigator had, in 2002 when Brooks was editor, not only listened in to cellphone voicemails left for missing 13-year-old Milly Dowler but deleted some to make room for more.

The schoolgirl was found murdered six months later, but her killer was only convicted last month, ensuring public memories of the notorious case were still vivid and raw.

($1 = 0.622 British Pounds)

(Additional reporting by Keith Weir, Kate Holton, Mike Collett-White, Mohammed Abbas, and Stefano Ambrogi; Writing by Alastair Macdonald; Editing by Jon Boyle)

..

Painted Outside Today July 31st, 2011

2011-07-31T15:28:00.000-07:00
It was a beautiful day for painting outside.

Here are three of the paintings I was working on today.

This one is The Dock. I'm not decided on the title but for now that is what this one is called.

I listened to Mary Chapin Carpenter, "Stones In The Road."

This one is Gift Giver, the latest in the Faces of a Woman series, for a very special woman.

And Louis Armstrong, "It's a Wonderful World."
And this one is Katie's Wave.

And of course I listened to some Etta James.

When chores were done I set up in the backyard and enjoyed working in natural light all day. It is early evening now and I wish I could keep on going. But my focus has lilted.

The sun is absolutley delicious.

Stay this moment in mine eyes
These colors
This hue
This nectarine peach
And blue

Lovely Day with Coco in the Park

2011-07-30T17:45:00.000-07:00
It was such a lovely day Coco and I went to the park twice. I love working her with the long leash. Being able to run with her. It is good for me too. Instead of relying on an easy tug of the leash I am making sounds, clicks and calling to her, as a friend while playing.

She runs with such strength and joy, with a great big akita smile beaming across her face.

When it came time to relax in some shade Coco laid across my feet.

It was delightful.

Some times it is good to take a break and rest. And let everything else but a wonderful walk in the park on a sunny day take priority over the daily chores.

I didn't paint a thing today. Maybe tonight.

Phenomenon

2011-07-29T08:47:00.000-07:00
This blog/journal is a funny thing. I tend to either write or paint. I've been working really hard on a few canvases. So everything else, including writing, tends to fade awhile. Until my mind is ready to rest and then I find refuge in these words.

And when a lot is going on in the world I usually want to write about it. But some times it takes awhile for a current event to sink in enough so that I can hold onto it and write about it.

These past couple of weeks Rupert Murdoch got busted and he was slapped by the Scotland Yard. Some of it came back because some top investigators were caught with their conflicted interested little hands in the cookie jar. And then people who worked for the royals, including Princess Diana, were also turning tricks for a buck. The sold personal information to the Murdoch NewsCorp Medias. The dude publishes a lot of trash. He's even got cable channels devoted to whatever he says. Turns out prostitution is legal. You just gotta know how to dress for it to make the big bucks.

The personal spying got more bold as Murchoch realized he could be one step a head of a real story or he could manipulate the breaking or a story or the way information was presented and that's when the fun began. It was right around the time of the last year or so of Bill Clinton's presidency. Their channel was relentless and he too had people close to him who were so willing to sell him out. It was his own poor judgement about an affair that was ridiculous, true. But most people would have been over it after a couple of weeks, I mean who could throw the first stone, right? Well, apparently the self-rightous politicians who were also caught cheating, and some times it was even with a boy. So all of this religious, self-righteous crap coming out of their mouths was just that, crap. After Bill Clinton we were living in prosperity. There were opportunities.

Yeah, there was a time when people could go to college and it would be worth while because there would be an interesting job to look forward too. In all kinds of industries too, including computers, programmers and environmentally souns alternatives to paying out too much money to the utility companies.

There was also too much thoughtless wasting of resources. Like spoiled children everyone was willing to work hard, women bringing in a second income turned out to be an advantage. You could buy those nice things you wanted so much faster. People were still building and buying big gas guzzling cars for status and wasting, well everything.

So in a way, this financial crush has been a good thing. It has been a wakeup call to those who chose not to think about the environment and people have started to make changes in their life style. Yet there are still many that walk from one day through another without much focus on what is going on outside of their lives. A lot of this happens, in all fairness, because people have to work there asses off here to make enough money so they can keep a little and do what they with it.

And maybe the knowing that even the mighty, like Rupert Murdoch, fall. It's just their carbon footprint is a bit bigger.

Whatever the case, its Friday. We have had two nights of serious thunderstorm activity going on all night. Everything is Irish spring green and I'm listening to the Phenomenon Soundtrack, Coco is at my feet after a nice long walk and I'm going to stop thinking about painting and I'm going to do the damn thing.

Coco Took Me Out to a Fund Raiser at UPS

2011-07-27T08:47:00.000-07:00
Early this morning Coco and I got ready to go to a United Way Fundraiser at UPS. The Ray Graham Association is a group of amazing people that help people with autisim and with disabilities like me to train their own service dogs. They also help with jobs and housing. It is wonderful and inspirational to work with and know people whose job it is to do good for other people.

We often go to United Way Fundraisers so people can see how the money they donate helps people in their own community.

When we are getting ready I tell her we are getting ready to work and she gets this huge smile on her face and follows me around. She can't wait for me to put her vest on. We were all ready and I told her to tell me when our ride got here and she went over to the window and stood and watched until our friend pulled into the driveway. Then she got down and looked toward the back door and her tail was wagging and she was all excited. One of her favorite people had arrive to take us to the event.

Coco loves to work. We go up and speak together. And then after she gets to greet people and spread some of her Coco love around. We always meet such nice, interesting people.

Here are a couple of pictures of us. We had finished speaking and lots of people came up to meet Coco and talk with me. It wasn't until mostly everyone had left and we were about ready to leave that someone asked if he could take a picture of us. And then I thought about my camera and I asked the man if he would take a picture of Coco and me too.

So here we are. She really took to this man, as you can see.

We had such a lovely time.

Afterwards MaryBeth and I went out for breakfast at a restaurant where everyone knows us and loves Coco. She was a good girl. She laid down under the table and slept while I visited with my friend from Ray Graham Association. Now Coco is laying by my feet being well, perfect.

I'm making huge progress with my canvases and will post pictures soon.

It's a great day already. I love it when that happens.

Walking on Water

2011-07-23T12:50:00.000-07:00
Walking on water.... impossible?

I wanted to see if this also happens in nature. I mean we can skip a rock on water. What about birds or animals? Or maybe a lizard? And then I came across this one....

No matter who we are or what we do there comes these moments in life when we have to step out and do something that is implausible. For me it was writing a book after my brain injury. For someone else it could be changing a flat tire. Whatever it is presents itself in the form of an obstacle that may be impossible to overcome.

I have found when people focus and become determined and are willing to work very hard, we can accomplish so much more than we ever thought we could.

In some ways we all face that moment of truth within ourselves when we decide to just go for it. Whether it is practicing to play a concert at Carnegie Hall or walk down a flight of stairs. In our own way we learn how to persevere and walk through obstacles.

These guys, take the challenge quite literally. I'm intrigued that it made a difference to do this in an arc. I wonder if the arc needs to be in alignment with the direction the earth spins?

Prisencolinensinainciusol

2011-07-21T20:50:00.000-07:00
This is a parody by Adriano Celentano for Italian TV. This video is what english sounds like to people who don't speak english. The moves and the beat is all sorts of awesomeness. Enjoy!

And just in case you think this was all just jibberish, well, you were only half right. I couldn't get over it when I saw this. And the moves, the dancing feels like early seventies. Dig the mirrors. Here is it with subtitles:

Some times you just gotta have some fun. Eyes.

Blackberry Verizon Glitches and Hacking?

2011-07-20T10:31:00.000-07:00
We are all opportunists. This brain function helps us to survive. Fish, animals and birds have this same trait in common. It usually goes hand in hand with satisfying a hunger. When taken to an extreme it can lead to war and genocide. And in between those extremes are all kinds of shades of gray.

Life pretty much boils down to how we live and what we take personal responsibility for and then how we learn and grow. There have always been people who want to sit on a throne, control the world and dominate the masses through violence and fear.

There have been quite a few people who have been making tons of money, with little or no regard for what they are doing; who they are hurting or how much their actions may be contributing to the depletion of our natural resources. Whether they are co-conspirators or opportunists whose interpretations of relative ethics are seriously flawed, who knows. But these coincidences are very interesting.

These links are interesting and worth the read.

This might raise the hairs on the back of your neck

Voting and Free Press

Rove Missing Emails When He Is on Verge of Major Federal Investigation

Where Does Rove Begin and Blackberry End?

Blackberry Outage

Rove Bush and Blackberry Blackout

Rove Probe

hmmmmm
Another Death - This time Computer Guru for Bush and Rove

It's rough stuff working for these guys. You do a good job and get results and you wind up with one helluva severance package.

Cramming

2011-07-20T09:53:00.001-07:00
Cramming happens when a phone company takes money from a third party to get information from their customer accounts. They sell your information, could even be medical information, to the highest bidder. And they also take money from third party customers to access information about where we go and how we spend our money and what is important to us. Bogus shell-companies make up services and charge them to a phone company customer. And then those charges appear on your phone bill. Verizon has been doing this and some people have had these charges add up to over $200 in a month. That's not the phone bill, that's the amount added onto the phone bill to pay these phoney companies to get our personal information - and they give the phone company a fee for the privilege of gathering and sorting information about everyone. This is a pretty big deal.

The phone companies are making a ton of money so they don't lift a finger to help their customers get a refund and they don't block the culprits from doing this to another one of their customers. But they can sure turn off your phone if you don't pay your bill on time. They could so cancel an account of someone who is ripping people off. That isn't impossible for the phone company to do. They get complaints and they check their records and they do their job and the problem is solved. But they don't cooperate with their customers who are complaining about these charges because they are making too much money selling their customers out.

I have a cell phone that I only use when I'm driving somewhere. Only a very few people have my number. And yet I constantly get messages, unsolicited from ATT and unknowns and I get charged every time I get one of these calls. I'm going to go to the store and see how I can put a stop to this. If I can't I'll write about it.

I think it should be flat out illegal for anyone to sell our information to anyone else. If we have to give ID information to make a purchase we are giving our ID to make that purchase. We do this so if we need to get billed for anything we might need to pay later, the merchant knows where to send the bill. That doesn't mean that everyone in the world should have access to what we do, who we are and where we live.

Banks and credit card companies used to do this too. They stopped only after the feds, thanks to Obama, made them knock it off. I used to get envelopes almost on a daily basis from banks trying to get me to borrow money. If I want to borrow money, I know where the bank is. I don't need anyone wasting time, money, paper and resources on trying to get me to borrow money. Now I don't mind if a bank makes some money to stay in business. That's fair. Though they do have access to our money in the grande pool sort of way, while it's in there. But I do think the conflict of interest in the term alone, investment banker, speaks volumes.

Think about it, if the banker or an investment broker has more information than you do, to make a decision about where to invest your retirement money, you are already at a disadvantage.

The banks will charge surprise fees and huge interest rates and take people's houses and pretty much run them out of town, if the right buyer wants to "invest" in a community. Even if the investors they represent intend to tear everything down and put a highrise building up there.

Cramming and hacking and phone companies people who have access to our personal information and finances well, it's all a stinky murky mess. I think the best thing to do is buy less, do less, read more, walk more and stay as far out of the loop as you can because if you stay in the game long enough, you just might lose everything.

Scotland Yard Corruption and A Dead Whistleblower

2011-07-19T22:01:00.000-07:00
Where is Sherlock Holmes when you need him? The whistle blower who exposed the phone hacking racket of Rupert Murdoch's NewsCorp was found dead this Sunday. Which is pretty interesting since this young guy looks pretty healthy.
Sean Hoare, Whistleblower Found Dead on Sunday - Hmmmmmmm

The London Police Chief Resigns and Murdoch Exec Gets the Boot.
Murdoch Exec Arrested and London Police Chief Bites the Dust

Second Top Scotland Yard Official Is Outta There!

Those computer glitches can be such a pain. Could hacking and spying skills be used to manipulate the market and magically make billions of dollars just simply disappear be a problem? Like magic? Or is all of this just a happy accident?
Les Hinton Forced Out of Dow Jones as Scandal Threatens Rupert Murdoch's Empire

People have been complaining about news manipulation and outright lying on the airwaves and propaganda techniques permiating their way through the media since, well since Bush took the election. I wonder where the unraveling will lead to in this country?